Bad Biology

bad-biologyBad Biology  (2008)    Media Blasters/Horror-Comedy    RT: 84 minutes    No MPAA Rating (non-stop profanity, graphic bloody violence and gore, grotesque disturbing images, full frontal nudity, strong sexual content and references, graphic anatomical conversation/references, excessive drug use)  Director: Frank Henenlotter    Screenplay: Frank Henenlotter and R.A. "The Rugged Man" Thorburn    Music: Josh Glazer and Prince Paul    Cinematography: Nick Deeg    Release date (DVD): January 26, 2010 (US)    Starring: Charlee Danielson, Anthony Sneed, John A. Thorburn, Remedy, R.A. "The Rugged Man" Thorburn, J-Zone, Reef the Lost Cauze, Connie Renda, Tina Krause, James Glickenhaus, Krista Ayne, Mar Sirivanh, Rachel Robbins, Alicia Hastings, Jelena Jensen.      

Rating: fullstar1fullstar1fullstar1star-empty1

WARNING: The following article contains material that some might find objectionable. It contains graphic descriptions of sexual acts and anatomical features as well as language and terminology that some might find offensive. However, it's unavoidable in this case due to the nature and content of the movie. If you object to the subject matter of this motion picture, please use discretion when deciding whether or not to proceed with this article. Thank you very much. Respectfully yours, Movie Guy 24/7.

 I'll bet that I've piqued your curiosity, haven't I? You might think that I'm exaggerating, but nothing could be further from the truth, Bad Biology is one of the most extreme horror movies that I've ever seen. I can't believe that I'm about to say this, but I actually found it shocking! I only recently became aware of its existence and given that it didn't receive any kind of significant theatrical release (it played at the Philadelphia Film Festival in '08), I might never have watched it. However, seeing that it's directed by Frank Henenlotter (Basket Case, Brain Damage), I jumped at the chance to watch it the other afternoon. I like Mr. Henenlotter's work very much, he has a way with low budget horror flicks and I knew that Bad Biology had to be worth seeing because of him. Once again, he delivers the goods, this is one crazy ass movie! It walks that fine line between extremely disturbing and perversely funny. It's so freaky and sick-minded that you can't avert your eyes from the screen. It's the type of movie that should come with a free barf bag when you purchase the DVD. I'm still not sure whether or not I liked the movie, but I definitely think it's an unforgettable and visceral experience. It's like David Cronenberg's Dead Ringers re-imagined as a dark romantic comedy. 

bad-biology-movie Jennifer (Danielson) suffers from what can only be described as some kind of permanent sexual arousal syndrome, she has seven clitorises and describes herself as ".... a female of the future who feeds on orgasms the way you people devour burgers and fries." She constantly needs sexual fulfillment, something she achieves by picking up random guys and screwing their brains out. Sometimes she kills her partners, usually by bashing their heads in. She smashes one guy's head against the floor in the throes of an orgasm, she splits another one's head open with a lamp when he offends her after they're finished. Two hours after Jennifer has sex, she gives birth to deformed babies that she abandons and leaves to die in bathtubs and garbage cans, She considers herself an evolutionary leap forward and believes she's destined for great things like giving birth to a holy child. She's convinced that God Himself wants to have carnal relations with her ("God wants to f**k me."). As we all know, destiny and fate have a strange sense of humor, so it's only a matter of time before she crosses paths with Batz (Sneed), a handsome young man with a very unique problem involving his penis .... it's alive! It's abnormally large and Batz has to restrain it with duct tape.  In his words, he has ".... a drug-addicted dick with a mind of its own.". It's addicted to some pretty exotic and hard-to-get drugs, but it's the only thing that keeps it quiet. Apparently, Batz' penis was accidentally cut off at birth and surgically reattached. Unfortunately, the damage is permanent, he couldn't even masturbate as a teen. Steroid use caused his penis to become huge and take on a life of its own. It's so big that Batz has to use a homemade machine (it looks like a factory machine) to jerk off to pornographic videos.

 Jennifer and Batz meet face-to-face about midway through Bad Biology in a scene that cannot be described as a meet-cute. Batz agrees to allow a friend to hold a photo shoot at his home (an old church) and Jennifer happens to be the photographer. She's doing a piece involving a rap group and a bunch of girls wearing vagina masks. Jennifer accidentally witnesses Batz having an argument with his penis and when she sees how big it is, she knows that she's found Mr. Right. She returns to his place one night and gets aroused when she witnesses him causing a hooker a non-stop orgasm. Batz finally ditches the hooker in an alley because she can't stop screaming. Batz has an argument with his penis about how it's ruining his life and it ends up leaving him in search of its own sexual misadventures. Jennifer shows up and explains to Batz that fate dictates that they should be together. It leads right up to my favorite dialogue from the movie and in this context, it's absolutely hilarious. He says, "You're too late! It's gone! It came off and walked right the f**k out of here! So if you want it, you're going to have to go out and find it! It's probably out there doing God knows what!" Now there's something you don't see/hear everyday! Meanwhile, Batz' penis breaks through walls and floors and attacks naked girls taking showers and sitting around naked. At this point, it reminded me of the infamous vomit monster from Poltergeist II: The Other Side. Eventually, the penis monster makes its way back home, but it's deathly sick due to drug withdrawal and that leads to a hilarious scene where Jennifer administers CPR to the sexual organ. Can you guess where she administers the breath of life? 

 Like I said, I can't say whether or not I liked Bad Biology, but I do think it's a pretty cool flick! There's plenty of cool things about it, like a cameo from B-movie director James Glickenhaus (The Exterminator, The Soldier, Shakedown) as a magazine editor. Co-writer/rapper R.A. "The Rugged Man" Thorburn shows up as Jennifer's first and only boyfriend (in a flashback sequence). Tina Krause (aka B-Movie Queen and Indie Horror Queen) plays herself in the photo shoot sequence, she teases Batz with her breasts. Krista Ayne (Penthouse Pet, April 2006) and Jelena Jensen (Playboy model) plays two victims of Batz' runaway penis. Boy, Mr. Henenlotter really knows how to throw a party! Plus, he eschews fancy CGI effects in favor of traditional stop-motion effects, most prominently when Batz' penis goes on its rampage of sex and debauchery. As I watched Bad Biology, I found myself making comparisons to other weird movies like Eraserhead (the deformed babies), Pink Flamingos (pushing the envelope with gross and shocking content) and Dead Ringers (deformed female sexual organs, mentally disturbed main characters). That's when it hit me that Bad Biology is a midnight movie! Of course! I'd expect nothing less from the man who created Frankenhooker. It even features some truly heinous acting and goofy dialogue. At one point, a publicist (Renda) on the set of the photo shoot says, "This is not clever, this is not intelligent, this is not artistic. This is crude gutter level filth." She's describing the activities at the photo shoot, but she could very well be describing the opinions of the more straight-laced viewers.

 As for bad acting, I refer you to the scene in the pizza shop where three teens discuss John Holmes and his most prominent feature (they didn't call him "Johnny Wadd" for nothing, that thing was freaking huge!) while Batz listens on in disgust and revulsion from another table. Listen to how they deliver their dialogue, it sounds so rehearsed and forced. Danielson and Sneed can't really act either, but Bad Biology is the type of movie where something like that doesn't really matter. People watch a movie like this for other reasons; namely, they wants lots of blood and lots of grotesque effects. Don't worry, Mr. Henenlotter delivers a very generous portion of blood and gore and other yucky effects! We're not talking about Tea with Mussolini here, we're not even talking about the same demographic. I'm not a fan of rap/hip-hop music, so I didn't really care for the soundtrack, but the rap played over the closing credits is actually pretty funny if you really listen to the lyrics. The special effects might be cheesy, but that's part of the appeal of Henenlotter's movies. Once again, I don't care about sophisticated CGI effects, I think there's a lot to be said for the old school stuff, especially when it comes to B-movie horror flicks. I'll say this about Bad Biology, you're not likely to ever see another movie quite like this, it's definitely a one-of-a-kind horror/comedy flick. As disturbing as some of it is, I don't think it's meant to be taken seriously. If you've read this entire review, you might want to give it a shot. It's not for everybody, especially those who stopped reading this review after my introduction/warning. In other words, proceed at your own risk. 

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