Midnight Matinee Psycho

midnight-matinee-psycho-rev Midnight Matinee Psycho  (2013)    Gawid Entertainment/Horror-Thriller    RT: 94 minutes    No MPAA rating (language, violence, sexual content)    Director: Derek Young    Screenplay: Greg Wait and Derek Young    Music: Wayne Goulden    Cinematography: Steve Cole, Chris Garetano and Derek Young    Release date: January 1, 2013 (Video)    Cast: John Rutland, Randi Nelle, Greg Wait, Derek Young, Steve Cole, Greg Russell Tiderington.

Rating: NO STARS!!!

 HOLY CRAP! WTF! AW, MAN! IS IT ALMOST OVER? IT’S NOT? S--T!!! Things I said out loud while watching Midnight Matinee Psycho, easily one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. It makes any given movie by Edward D. Wood Jr. (Glen or Glenda, Plan 9 from Outer Space) look like a Bergman masterpiece. It is incompetent in every conceivable way. It’s incompetent in ways even Wood never conceived of. Let’s start with the title. It makes no sense at all. There’s no such thing as a midnight matinee. Anybody old enough to be watching Midnight Matinee Psycho knows that. At least they ought to. For those who don’t know, let me break it down. A matinee is a daytime showing of a movie. A midnight show is just that, a midnight show. Get it? Got it? Good. Let’s move on.

 midnight matinee psychoThe plot, such as it is, concerns a woman named Sara (Nelle) looking to avenge her father’s murder at a “midnight matinee” many years before. Every year on the anniversary of his death, she goes to the same theater and kills a patron. Of course, the police have no clue who the killer might be. She also becomes romantically involved with Clyde (Rutland) who used to work at the theater before getting fired for hitting on Sara while working the concession stand. It’s okay, what he really wants to do is make movies. It affects his relationship with Sara, who becomes his wife at some point, in a negative way. She resents him spending their money on such a risky venture. There’s also some business about a friend of Clyde, Charlie (Tiderington), doing a background check on Sara.

 At one point in Midnight Matinee Psycho, Clyde has a table at a horror film convention where he’s greeted by P.J. Soles (Carrie), Ari Lehman (aka Jason Voorhees as a child) and other genre dignitaries who sing his praises. They’re the biggest names in the cast. They are NOT the stars of this movie. Their presence does nothing to make this terrible movie any better.

 Midnight Matinee Psycho is very, VERY poorly made. It’s shot on video rather than film making it even more unwatchable. Every single thing about it is bad. It’s clear that director (and co-writer) Derek Young has no idea how to make a movie. He should take a few film courses at the local college before ever picking up a camera again. I’ve seen strangers’ home movies that are better made than this. It’s very half-assed. There’s no follow-through on several plot threads; most notably, the friend doing the background check. What exactly does he find? Midnight Matinee Psycho is excruciating to watch. Scratch that, it’s completely unwatchable. I can’t believe it even got released. I want to forget it ever happened; unfortunately, there are certain in life that once seen, can’t be unseen. This miserable excuse for a horror movie definitely qualifies. Forget thumbs down, this one gets the finger.

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