Bloodsucking Freaks  (1976)    American Film Distributing Corporation/Horror    RT: 91 minutes    Rated X (some language, extreme graphic violence and gore, sadism, torture, full frontal nudity, strong sexual content, human depravity and degradation)    Director: Joel M. Reed    Screenplay: Joel M. Reed    Music: Michael Sahl    Cinematography: Ron Dorfman    Release date: November 3, 1976 (US)    Cast: Seamus O’Brien, Louie de Jesus, Viju Krem, Niles McMaster, Alan Dellay, Dan Fauci, Helen Thompson, Ellen Faison, Ernie Pysher.    Box Office: N/A

Rating: NO STARS!!!

 I’m almost tempted to give Bloodsucking Freaks a higher rating for sheer chutzpah. It’s easily the most depraved movie I’ve ever seen. What happens onscreen during its 91-minute running time is so sick and sadistic I’m hesitant to describe any of it. But you know I will, right?

 It was originally released as The Incredible Torture Show which describes the movie to a T. It was retitled Bloodsucking Freaks after Troma acquired it. A title like that might lead some to believe that it’s about vampires, but it’s not. The monsters in it are all too human. So why the title? There’s a scene where a man drills a hole through a woman’s skull, sticks in a straw and proceeds to suck her brains out. Sounds lovely, no?

 I have to admit that I like the title Bloodsucking Freaks better than what it was called before. It’s a real attention grabber. I remember when it came out on video in ’84, the box had a straw attached to it. It was a pretty cool gimmick. Sadly, I waited too long and it disappeared from the local video story. I finally found a copy at West Coast Video in 1990. For once, the hype was real! It was every bit as twisted and f***ed up as its reputation suggested. Still, the fact remains that it’s a bad movie on virtually every level. It has some of the worst gore effects I’ve ever seen. It’s so obviously fake that even the most forgiving gorehound will be disgusted and not in the way the makers intended.

 Master Sardu (O’Brien) runs the dilapidated Theater of the Macabre in New York’s Soho with his midget assistant Ralphus (de Jesus). He stars in a show in which women are seemingly tortured and killed before an audience. Guess what? It’s for real! No special effects or magic, these women are really being killed. In the audience one night is a prominent critic (Dellay) that mocks and insults Sardu in front of everybody. Also in attendance are prima ballerina Natasha Di Natalie (Krem) and her football player boyfriend Tom Maverick (McMaster). Sardu sends Ralphus to kidnap the critic and bring him back to the theater. Sardu holds him prisoner while he preps for his new show, a ballet. He wants Natasha to star and knowing full well that she’ll refuse his offer, he has Ralphus abduct her as well. She isn’t keen on doing anything for Sardu, so he shows her just what she’ll face if she continues to resist. In short, he tortures and murders several girls in front of the horrified dancer. Meanwhile, Tom and corrupt police detective John Tucci (Fauci) investigate her disappearance. In all culminates in a perverted version of a ballet in which Natasha repeatedly kicks the critic in the face until he’s dead. A true film classic, wouldn’t you say?

 A couple of plot points I didn’t mention: (1) the theater is a front for a white slavery operation and (2) Sardu keeps a bunch of naked feral women locked in a cage in the basement. It just keeps getting better, doesn’t it?

 As you can see, Bloodsucking Freaks wallows in sleaze and degradation. It has just about every type of depraved behavior possible- dismemberment, decapitation, caning, sadomasochism, cannibalism and necrophilia. The movie’s highlights include the following scenes: Ralphus pleasuring himself orally with a woman’s decapitated head, Sardu and Ralphus throwing darts at a target painted on a woman’s ass (guess where the bullseye is?), a girl placed into a guillotine is forced to hold the rope holding up the blade in her mouth then caned on her bare bottom with the expected results and the caged women mutilating and eating a man thrown into their cage. Then, of course, you have the brain-sucking scene.

 I’m sorry, Bloodsucking Freaks isn’t a horror movie. It’s a carnival geek show.  It’s made for ghouls, perverts and psychos. It’s an early example of the short-lived “torture porn” trend. It’s not scary, it’s just gross. Yet at the same time, it’s perversely fascinating. Here’s a movie that’s bad on both an artistic and technical level. It’s also completely morally bankrupt. The acting and dialogue are awful. It’s cheap-looking and sleazy.

 Writer-director Joel M. Reed (Night of the Zombies) doesn’t hold back when it comes to nudity. Most of the women in this pitiful excuse for a horror movie end up naked at some point. It’s not sexy, it just adds to the sense of degradation. However, it’s so unbelievably campy that it can’t be taken seriously. It’s like an updated Grand Guignol show.

 I’m told that Bloodsucking Freaks is meant to be a send-up of gory movies. Okay, I can see where some might find it funny on that level. Surely Reed couldn’t have been serious when he made a film this sick and depraved? It takes guts and balls to make a movie like Bloodsucking Freaks. Isn’t he afraid that some will think it’s a reflection of his state of mind? Doesn’t he fear being committed to a mental hospital based on this alleged evidence? Apparently not. For that reason alone, I was tempted to award Bloodsucking Freaks a four-star rating. In the end, I went with NO STARS because it’s so badly made. Not because of creative bankruptcy, not at all. It all comes down to presentation and this is a very incompetently made flick. See it if you feel you must satisfy your curiosity.