Too Hot to Handle (1977) New World/Action RT: 86 minutes Rated R (strong sexual content and full frontal nudity, violence, rape, language, drug material) Director: Don Schain Screenplay: J. Michael Sherman and Don Buday Music: Hugo Montenegro Cinematography: Fred Conde Release date: May 27, 1977 (US) Cast: Cheri Caffaro, Aharon Ipale, Vic Diaz, Corinne Calvet, John vanDreelan, Jordan Rosengarten, Butz Aquino, Subas Herrero, Grace Lee, Paquito Salcedo. Box Office: N/A
Rating: ***
The Philippines was a mecca for exploitation filmmakers in the 70s. If you needed exotic but affordable locations or cheap labor, that’s where you went. Many classic non-classics were made there- e.g. The One-Armed Executioner, Vampire Hookers, TNT Jackson, Firecracker and several women-in-prison movies with Pam Grier. Another one is Too Hot to Handle, a silly James Bond knock-off starring sexy Cheri Caffaro (of the Ginger trilogy) as hitwoman extraordinaire Samantha Fox. The character predates both the pop singer and the porn actress, so no lawsuits were ever filed.
Fox may not be a spy, but that doesn’t stop her from leading a life of secrecy. A woman of great wealth, she goes from place to place on her private yacht. She attends society functions and lounges by pools in a series of outfits designed by the actress herself. What most people don’t know is she kills for a living. She’s one of those contract killers that kill only bad people like the S&M freak (vanDreelan, 13 Ghosts) who invites her to his place to see his collection of “medieval sporting devices”. He ends up with a plastic bag over his head after a bit of foreplay (i.e. bondage). You see, Fox likes to watch her targets die up close. She’s kinky that way.
Her next job consists of three targets, criminals all of them. A new crime syndicate is moving into Manila and they want their predecessors eliminated. The first to go is Stockwell (Rosengarten), a pimp who lives in a big mansion and collects art. He’s a nasty piece of work, this guy. Fox visits him in the guise of a magazine reporter doing a story on his art collection. Obviously, she’s really there to collect intel. She returns later, this time disguised as a new maid (wig, fake nose and brown-face makeup), and kills him by pouring a powerful paralytic into his bath causing him to drown, but not before she unveils her true identity.
By now, local cop De La Torres (Ipale, Fiddler on the Roof) is on to Fox. He knows she’s the killer he’s looking for, but can’t prove it. Not that he really wants to. They become involved, romantically and sexually. Let me put it another way. He’s more successful at nailing her in the sack than for any kind of illegal activity. For her sake, it’s a good thing he’s bad at his job. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be able to complete her assignment. She has two- well, three actually- more targets. The second name on the list is Madame Ruanda (Calvet, Peking Express), a beauty product queen (and lesbian) who runs a spa that’s really a front for a white slavery operation. Fox infiltrates and catches Ruanda’s attention enough to earn an invite to her room for a late-night drink. Long story short, she kills the Madame with one of her own beauty treatments, one involving a mud facial mask and electrodes. ZAP!
The final job involves two rival drug lords, Rossimo (Aquino) and Calderone (Herrero). How she handles them is obviously the inspiration for Death Wish 4. Why do the work when you can get somebody else to do it for you? It’s a quick and easy solution that absolves the orchestrator of any provable culpability.
Directed by Don Schain, who also worked with Caffaro on the Ginger movies, Too Hot to Handle is a fun and entertaining little B-movie that doesn’t tax the brain. Of course, that goes without saying. These movies, by and large, are dumb. In this case, dumb is good. To be honest, I’d rather watch a dopey B-movie than some pretentious art film. They might provide brilliant insights into the human condition or some such BS, but do they have kung fu, shoot-outs with machine guns, explosions, stick fighting, car chases, S&M, sleazeball characters, cockfighting, pedal funk guitar music, bad 70s fashions, dopey dialogue and a femme fatale heroine who’s naked half the time? Too Hot to Handle has all that and more.
Caffaro is HOT! She’s a pretty decent actress too. This is the first time I’ve seen her in anything, but now I’m curious to check out the Ginger trilogy- Ginger (1971), The Abductors (1972) and Girls Are for Loving (1973). Apparently, it’s a big deal in the world of exploitation movies. I’m actually surprised I haven’t heard of her until now. I have to say, I like what I see and we get to see EVERYTHING! She’s not shy about doffing her clothes. She also has a way with dopey dialogue like “It’s much more of a turn-on to watch something die slowly. Even then, the greater the distance, the less the fun.” She drops this bon mot during an avocado-shooting date with De La Torres. That’s right up there with her come-on line to the cop, “As long as you promise if you rape me, you’ll work the case.”
Ipale is okay as De La Torres. He’s another one I’m not familiar with. He’s not Olivier, but he gets off at least one good line when he says, “Watch out, she’s a killer on the dance floor.” to a guy who asks her to dance at a disco. His character might not be too bright, but he’s good in a fight. He’s better than the undercover he sends to check out Fox on her yacht. She kicks his ass without breaking a sweat. Popular Filipino character actor Vic Diaz (Vampire Hookers) shows up in a rare good guy role as De La Torres’ partner. Him I’ve seen before. I like him.
It may not be the best B-movie I’ve ever seen, but I enjoyed Too Hot to Handle quite a bit. The score by Hugo Montenegro is pure 70s; it sounds like something from a cop show on TV. It has a fair amount of action and some nice location shooting. The plot is simple and predictable, even relying on the ticking time bomb device in the climax. Since it’s the 70s, it’s a clock with hands instead of a red digital read-out. Still, it’s a pretty good choice for a Saturday matinee.
