From Justin to Kelly (2003) 20th Century Fox/Musical-Comedy RT: 81 minutes (Theatrical Version)/90 minutes (Extended Version) Rated PG (thematic elements, sensuality, brief language) Director: Robert Iscove Screenplay: Kim Fuller Music: Greg Siff and Michael Wandmacher Cinematography: Francis Kenny Release date: June 20, 2003 (US) Cast: Kelly Clarkson, Justin Guarini, Katherine Bailess, Anika Noni Rose, Greg Siff, Brian Dietzen, Jason Yribar, Christopher Bryan, Theresa San-Nicholas, Toi Svane Stepp, Justin Gorence, Kaitlin Riley, Marc Macaulay. Box Office: $4.9M (US)
Rating: *
The story behind the musical bomb From Justin to Kelly is more interesting than anything that happens during its 81-minute running time. It all began with the first season of American Idol. As part of the contract, the winner and runner-up of the singing competition had to star in a film. Given the enormous success of the show, the idea of making a movie was seemingly a no-brainer. Surely the millions of people who tuned in and voted each week would turn out en masse for an American Idol-related movie, right? WRONG! They turned away en masse instead.
From Justin to Kelly was hurriedly shot in early ’03 and rushed through post-production to be ready for release by June 20, a primo spot on the movie schedule with school just letting out for the summer. Expecting big crowds, Fox opened it in over 2000 locations. It tanked BIG TIME, not even cracking the top ten with only $2.7 million opening weekend. Its final domestic gross fell just short of $5 million. The movie predicted to be one of the summer’s biggest hits was already out on video by Labor Day. Is it any wonder that Fox execs removed the movie clause from the Idol contract after this fiasco?
So is From Justin to Kelly really that bad? Yes, I’m afraid it is. It’s bad on every single level imaginable starting with the Idiot Plot that serves as its story. As you know, this term describes a plot that it kept in motion solely because everybody involved is a complete idiot. If this were not the case, somebody would say something that would clear everything up and we could all go home. Unfortunately, nobody in From Justin to Kelly is particularly intelligent. Okay, they’re all airheads. Take the two seemingly star-crossed leads played by Idol winner Kelly Clarkson and runner-up Justin Guarini. It’s NOT fate that’s keeping them apart for almost the whole movie. The real reason is right there in front of them. How do they NOT see it? Maybe if one of them spoke up about one of their many misunderstandings, they’d figure it out sooner. But then we wouldn’t have the Shakespearean-level love story that is From Justin to Kelly, would we?
ANYWAY, in fair Ft. Lauderdale where we lay our scene, two young people both alike in good looks find themselves to each other attracted. Texas girl Kelly, who we first see singing the ironically titled “I Won’t Stand in Line” to the empty bar where she works as a waitress, accepts a last-minute invitation from her best friends, party girl Alexa (Bailess, Hit the Floor) and sensible Kaya (Rose, Dreamgirls), to join them on spring break in Ft. Lauderdale. Justin, who bears an uncanny resemblance to Sideshow Bob with that hair of his, is there to make money as an event promoter with his two best buds Brandon (Siff) and Eddie (Dietzen, NCIS). They call themselves “The Pennsylvania Posse”. Brandon is your typical d-bag frat boy-type who consistently objectifies women. He keeps having run-ins with the same female police officer (Nicholas), encounters that always cost him whatever money he just made from events like his “Whipped Cream Bikini Contest”. Eddie is there to meet up with a girl he’s been talking to on-line for a year. You guessed it, they keep just missing each other.
The main story, of course, focuses on Justin and Kelly. They like each other. Kelly gives him her number so he can text her. He loses the number. He runs into Alexa and asks her for it. Alexa, being the back-stabbing bitch she is, gives him hers instead and pretends to be Kelly blowing him off. Justin can’t understand Kelly’s changing attitude and Kelly can’t understand why Justin doesn’t call. They both thought they had a connection. At this point, one or both of them should have realized something was amiss. Instead, they wander around confused, angry and hurt. It never occurs to Justin to show Kelly the texts she supposedly sent to him or show her the number Alexa gave him. Wow, just wow.
Obviously, the makers of From Justin to Kelly intended it to be this generation’s Grease. Allow me to introduce into evidence a number included only in the extended version called “Brighter Star” in which Justin and Kelly express their feelings about their newfound to love to their friends and a few dancing extras. It jumps back and forth between them. It’s such a blatant rip-off of “Summer Loving”, I kept waiting for the extras to sing “Tell me more, tell me more!” Another added number “From Me to You” is this movie’s version of “Sandy” except it takes place on jetty instead of a drive-in movie. It’s just as well From Justin to Kelly rips off Grease as it’s the only memorable thing about the music. The best songs are merely forgettable. Others, like covers of “Vacation” and “That’s the Way I Like It”, are awful. In some numbers (e.g. “The Bounce”), the choreography is best described as controlled chaos. Some of the dancing is okay but it’s a long, LONG way from Fred and Ginger or John and Olivia.
The acting is absolutely awful. In their defense, Justin and Kelly are singers not actors. They both have incredible voices but neither of them can act to save their lives. And forget about any chemistry between them. There is none. I didn’t buy their characters and I definitely didn’t buy them as a couple. When you get right down to it, all of the acting in From Justin to Kelly is bad. While it’s impossible to single out the movie’s worst performance, I can easily say that Alexa is the character I wanted to strangle the most. I honestly don’t understand why Kelly is friends with this girl. She’s known her for years and must know what she’s capable of. Is she really this freaking stupid? It doesn’t make any sense. Again, wow.
Those who know me know of my affinity for bad musicals like Can’t Stop the Music, Xanadu and Grease 2. As terrible as it is, From Justin to Kelly is on the list. It’s annoying at times but I simply can’t dismiss this mess of a movie. Whereas some movies are timeless, this one passed its expiration date long ago with the way it recalls the Frankie and Annette Beach Party movies of the 60s. The plot is basically a rehash of the original Where the Boys Are. None of these movies are known for their intellectual content yet the makers still find a way to dumb it down even more.
From Justin to Kelly is short enough that certain plot threads, like Kaya’s romance with a local (Yribar), go underdeveloped. At the same time, it feels like an extended promotional music video for Kelly and Justin. Directed in flat-footed style by Robert Iscove (She’s All That), From Justin to Kelly is pure bad movie heaven. From the music that won’t leave you with a song in your heart to the woeful dialogue the players are forced to say, it’s the kind of movie that wouldn’t even benefit from a rewrite by the Bard himself. For never was a movie of more woe than this of Kelly and her Justin-O.
