976-EVIL (1989) CineTel/Horror RT: 92 minutes Rated R (graphic violence, language, nudity, sex) Director: Robert Englund Screenplay: Rhet Topham and Brian Helgeland Music: Thomas Chase and Steve Rucker Cinematography: Paul Elliott Release date: March 24, 1989 (US) Cast: Stephen Geoffreys, Jim Metzler, Maria Rubell, Lezlie Deane, J.J. Cohen, Pat O’Bryan, Sandy Dennis, Darren Burrows, Gunther Jensen, Jim Thiebaud, Robert Picardo, Paul Wilson, Greg Collins. Box Office: $2.9M (US)
Rating: ***
Actor Robert Englund loses the Freddy Krueger makeup and steps behind the camera for the first time with 976-EVIL, an odd little shocker about a nerdy teen who makes a deal with the devil via a 976 phone line. They’re all gone now, but 976 numbers were all the rage at the time of the movie’s release. For the benefit of those too young to remember, it breaks down like this. For a premium rate (e.g. $2.99 for the first minute, 99 cents per minute after that), you could get a personal psychic reading, find out the latest news on your favorite celebrity or talk to “hot single women”. It seems like they had a 976 number for everything. Why not one as a recruitment tool for Satan? It’s actually a pretty cool idea for a horror movie.
Stephen Geoffreys, best known as Evil Ed from Fright Night, stars as Hoax, a high school kid constantly knocked down by life. If it’s not the punks at school sticking his head in the toilet, it’s his overly religious mother Lucy (Dennis, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?) threatening to use the strap on him for sins like sassing her or looking at topless tribal women in National Geographic. His only friend is his cousin Spike (O’Bryan, Victim #1 in Relentless), a leather jacket-and-motorcycle bad boy who lives above the garage. It’s Spike who first discovers 976-EVIL, a seemingly harmless novelty line that gives callers their “Horrorscope”. It proves to be too eerily relevant with its fortunes for Spike’s taste and he stops calling. Hoax learns of it and calls. Unlike his cousin, he buys into it and becomes a different kid, one that’s still weird but now dangerous too. Naturally, he uses his new powers to get even with his tormentors.
There’s a subplot involving a guy, Marty (Metzler, River’s Edge), who’s either a reporter for a trashy miracle magazine or a private investigator; it’s never made clear which. After a strange phenomenon in which fish rain down from the sky (presumably only on Lucy’s property), Marty shows up to interview her. He sticks around for a while to look into the matter further. Somehow (again, NOT clear) it leads him to the 976 number. Regardless of how he got there, he figures out what’s going on and joins in the climactic battle against evil alongside Cousin Spike.
No doubt the coolest part of 976-EVIL is when Hoax wages war against everybody who wronged him starting with Suzie (Deane, Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare), a girl he liked until a date of sorts ends with her joining Marcus (Cohen, The Principal) and his gang in humiliating him. Hoax retaliates by using her fear of spiders against her via a Satanic spell. He goes after the gang next. With each act of evil, his appearance becomes more demon-like.
Written by Rhet Topham (Trick or Treat) and Brian Helgeland (A Nightmare on Elm Street 4), 976-EVIL suffers from a haphazardly written screenplay that fails to clarify certain plot points and character details. It has trouble focusing too. It’s all over the place with the story. It starts off being about Spike and his efforts to resist the evil forces on the other end of the line until it clumsily shifts its attention to Hoax’s Jekyll and Hyde revenge story at which point Spike becomes a supporting player. Every now and then, Marty shows up to ask questions or poke around in dark creepy offices. Late in the game, he finds an ally in the school’s assistant principal (Rubell, Salvador). We don’t meet her until maybe an hour into the proceedings; by that time, what’s the point? And what’s the deal with the early scenes of 976-EVIL callers being terrorized by ringing public phones before they’re shocked to death? Did they try to resist the evil they inadvertently invited into their lives? If so, why doesn’t it happen to Spike? It’s a confused screenplay that leaves too many unanswered questions.
If you can look past its narrative shortcomings, 976-EVIL is a decent scary movie. It’s very atmospheric with its grungy aesthetic and weird dream-like vibe. True to his roots, Englund makes it feel like a nightmare with the uncannily empty nighttime streets, the shabby local cinema (“The Diablo”) that shows only horror movies and the grubby, graffiti-laden school right out of Class of 1984. Some would argue that 976-EVIL is merely cheap-looking but I say it’s exactly the right look for this movie. Its strange premise demands it actually.
The acting is all over the map starting with Geoffrey’s schizo performance. He’s effectively scary once he transforms; it’s before it that’s the issue. He specialized in playing nerds- e.g. Fraternity Vacation, Fright Night- but none as annoying as Hoax, a pathetic sort with a rumpled wardrobe and the mentality of a 9YO. At the same time, you can’t help but feel sorry for the guy. Look at the mother that raised him. She’s nuts! She encompasses the worst traits of Margaret White and Mrs. Bates with her extreme religious fervor and smothering parental style. In the role, Dennis gives a fantastically loopy performance. O’Bryan, who I’m convinced was separated at birth from Nick Cassavetes, is rather wooden as Spike. He tries for the swagger of Patrick Swayze to no effect. Deane simply looks hot in chic punk mode.
The visuals, including makeup effects by Kevin Yagher (A Nightmare on Elm Street 2, 3 & 4), are pretty impressive for a low-budget horror movie. Obviously, I like the gore effects which include somebody’s hand getting cut off and cats eating out somebody’s stomach. The image that sticks out most is the chasm leading to the fiery pits of Hell that opens up in the living room. It’s COOL!
I didn’t care for 976-EVIL when it first came out but I came to like it over the years. Sure, it has some pacing issues but it’s never exactly boring. I really wish I could get my hands on a copy of the extended version which runs 13 minutes longer. It’s the better version as it provides more character and story development. Either way, it’s a pretty good movie.
