All the Marbles (1981) MGM/Comedy-Drama RT: 113 minutes Rated R (language, rough wrestling violence, nudity, drugs) Director: Robert Aldrich Screenplay: Mel Frohman Music: Frank De Vol Cinematography: Joseph F. Biroc Release date: October 16, 1981 (US) Cast: Peter Falk, Vicki Frederick, Laurene Landon, Burt Young, Tracy Reed, Ursaline Bryant, Claudette Nevins, Richard Jaeckel, John Hancock, Lenny Montana, Faith Minton, Mean Joe Greene. Box Office: $6.5M (US)
Rating: ** ½
The first thing that struck me about All the Marbles is that Robert Aldrich (The Longest Yard) makes no attempt to glamorize the lives of his central characters, a pair of female wrestlers and their manager. In sports-themed movies, we typically see professional athletes living a comfortable existence as they struggle to rise to the top of their game. There’s nothing comfortable about the lives of the California Dolls, a tag team looking for their big break. They travel from one depressing town to the next in a beat-up old convertible driven by their manager Harry (Falk, The In-Laws) who books gigs that barely earn them enough money to cover their expenses. They stay in cheap motels, live on junk food and deal with scumbags that rip them off. It’s a pretty sad life.
The California Dolls are Iris (Frederick, A Chorus Line) and Molly (Landon, Roller Boogie). Iris is the brunette; Molly is the blonde. They’re constantly on the road with Harry, a gruff fast talker too cheap to get his muffler replaced. For the first half, they mainly wrestle at small venues to crowds more interested in their boobs than their moves. They hit absolute rock bottom when Harry books them at a county fair where they’re expected to wrestle in a mud pit. Of course, all four female participants end up topless.
The Dolls can’t seem to catch a break until a wrestling magazine ranks them as the number three team in the country. Harry uses it to get them a prime gig at the MGM Grand Hotel in Reno where they’ll go up against their archrivals The Toledo Tigers (Reed and Bryant) in a grudge match. Naturally, they tend to fight dirty. Harry must also contend with sleazy fight promoter Eddie Cisco (Young, the Rocky movies) who never goes anywhere without his burly, dim-witted bodyguard (Montana, The Godfather).
I remember going to see All the Marbles with my father opening night and being unsure what to make of it afterwards. I thought it was going to be a foul-mouthed sports comedy, but it really isn’t all that funny. It has humorous moments and Falk is always good for a few laughs, but I wouldn’t classify it as a comedy. That’s where things get dicey.
In his final film, Aldrich doesn’t seem to know what to do with the material or where to take it. It meanders an awful lot before settling into a semi-conventional sports actioner with the two rival tag teams facing off against each other in a match that might be fixed. I have no problem with this part of All the Marbles. The wrestling is top-notch and exciting. It’s the rest of the movie that’s a problem. What exactly is Aldrich going for? There were many directions he could have gone. He could have approached the material satirically. He could have done a deep dive into the seedy world of wrestling (bear in mind, this is before the WWE took over). Instead, he gives us vaguely defined characters and a rambling storyline.
Falk delivers his trademark shambling performance as Harry, the kind of manager who promises the world but needs a dime for the pay phone to get it. Gruff but good-hearted, he’ll do whatever it takes to get his girls to Reno. Although we’ve seen this Falk countless other times, he’s always a pleasure to watch. Frederick and Landon are convincing as wrestlers. Aldrich had them undergo weeks of training under female wrestler Mildred Burke before hiring them officially. It shows. They’re also HOT! This is the main thing 13YO Movie Guy noticed. Young is sufficiently scuzzy as the promoter who demands a high (and demeaning) price to put the Dolls in the ring at the MGM.
It’s a solid cast that gets short-changed by Mel Frohman’s underwritten screenplay. It lacks character development. Harry talks about his family in one scene, but we never learn how he came to be the girls’ manager. One of the girls has a drug problem that the screenplay never adequately deals with. It never bothers to explain relationships either. We never find out how Harry came to be the girls’ manager or even how he got into the business in the first place. One of the girls used to be romantically involved with Harry. This should be significant to the story, but it barely merits more than a passing mention by the weak script.
All the Marbles really comes to life during the wrestling matches. The two actresses’ complete commitment is on full display. They do all their own stunts, flying through the air and landing hard. The big match at the end is incredible albeit implausible. Wouldn’t somebody be automatically disqualified for assaulting the referee? No matter, he deserves it and it’s fun to watch. Falk’s character goes all out for his girls at this match even hiring a group of kids to sing “Oh, You Beautiful Doll” to get the crowd revved up.
Aldrich maintains a sense of realism throughout All the Marbles. Nobody ever said he wasn’t good at his job. He has some great titles to his credit- e.g. The Flight of the Phoenix, The Dirty Dozen, Twilight’s Last Gleaming and the underrated Hustle to name but a few. He missed this time but at least All the Marbles is a (mostly) interesting misfire. It aimlessly meanders not sure where to go before finally reaching an all-too-familiar destination. But there’s some fun along the way and at the end.
