Cyborg (1989) Cannon/Sci-Fi-Action RT: 86 minutes Rated R (pervasive strong martial arts violence, language, brief nudity) Director: Albert Pyun Screenplay: Albert Pyun and Daniel Hubbard-Smith Music: Kevin Bassinson Cinematography: Philip Alan Waters Release date: April 7, 1989 (US) Cast: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Deborah Richter, Vincent Klyn, Dayle Haddon, Alex Daniels, Blaise Loong, Rolf Muller, Haley Peterson, Terrie Batson, Jackson ‘Rock’ Pinckney, Janice Graser, Robert Pentz, Sharon K. Tew, Chuck Allen, Stefanos Miltsakakis. Box Office: $10.1M (US)
Rating: ***
Director Albert Pyun (The Sword and the Sorcerer) reportedly wrote the screenplay for Cyborg in one weekend. I believe it. Once you see how utterly dumb it is, you’ll believe it too. Am I saying you should see it? It depends on your tolerance for trash. Me, I have a high tolerance for it. I especially enjoy laughably bad B-movies like Cyborg, yet another post-apocalyptic adventure in which a lone hero takes on baddies that look like members of an 80s metal band. It’s an amalgam of sci-fi, martial arts and western motifs packaged as a Road Warrior knock-off. Its official category is sci-fi-action. Unofficially, it’s funny as hell.
Jean-Claude Van Damme, in a role originally intended for Chuck Norris, plays Gibson Rickenbacker, a “slinger” whose job it is to escort people out of the city (New York, where else?) away from roving bands of “pirates”- i.e. vicious gangs of leather-and-chain mail wearing psychos. It’s the future and the world is a mess. Civilization has collapsed for the usual reasons- famine, genocide and anarchy. Then came a plague “The Living Death” that wiped out most of humanity. The few remaining scientists and doctors are at the CDC in Atlanta working on a cure. They need information stored on a computer in NYC. That’s where the cyborg comes into play. Her name is Pearl Prophet (Haddon, Bedroom Eyes) and she has the needed data stored in her computerized brain. All she has to do is get it back to Atlanta. Obviously, this is no easy feat in a futuristic hell.
Her human escort is murdered by the villainous Fender Tremolo (Klyn, Point Break) who wants the cure for himself. Holding the key to the cure equals power. He wants it all. He and his gang decide to take Pearl to Atlanta themselves. They didn’t count on Gibson though. He saved her life in NYC but Fender’s gang still managed to snatch her up. He knows what’s at stake but his reasons for going after Fender are also personal. We learn via flashbacks that he murdered his makeshift family some years earlier. He wants revenge. If he manages to save the world along the way, so be it. He’s joined on his mission by Nady Simmons (Richter, Midnight Madness) whose family was also killed by Fender.
Made on a budget of $500,000 with sets and costumes originally intended for a Masters of the Universe sequel that never happened*, Cyborg is a movie that entertains despite the viewer being fully aware of how terrible it is. In his second starring role, JCVD proves he’s a fighter NOT an actor. He’s more capable of delivering spin kicks than dialogue. He has the emotional range of a piece of driftwood. In other words, he’s not all that different from other 80s action stars. Klyn overacts to the point of high camp with lines like, “I’ll take you to Atlanta and you’ll give me the cure. And if you don’t, I’ll give you the horror show.” Cyborg is filled with dopey dialogue like this, all of it delivered by actors who bare their muscular arms and chests so much, you’d think they just stepped off Venice Beach. Then there’s Deborah Richter, the one-time starlet who appeared in such teen T&A comedies as Gorp and Hot Moves. Guess what, she shows her boobs here too. She’s a fox and a decent fighter. As the cyborg of the title, Haddon doesn’t do too badly underneath all the cheap makeup effects.
As we all know, the fight scenes are the raison d’etre for most action films of the 80s and 90s. Nobody, and I mean nobody, goes to see movies like Cyborg expecting deep insights into the human condition. The audience only cares about one thing, action. There’s plenty of it in Cyborg. Unfortunately, as good a fighter as JCVD is, the fight scenes are typically poorly staged. The climactic fight takes place during a rainstorm making it difficult to see what’s happening. Pyun had to trim a considerable amount of blood to achieve an R rating. He should have left it in or at least put out an Unrated Director’s Cut on DVD/Blu-Ray. There are a few pacing issues which is quite something considering that the picture is only 86 minutes long.
By the way, do you notice something peculiar about the characters’ names- Gibson Rickenbacker, Fender Tremolo, Pearl Prophet, etc.? They’re all named after guitars and other musical instruments. Now I’m completely convinced that the post-apocalyptic world will be run by heavy metal musicians.
The bottom line here is that Cyborg is a bad movie, but not an unwatchable one. There’s joy to be had watching a bunch of lousy actors in silly costumes running around on cheap sets that look like bad urban neighborhoods up for renewal. In other words, it’s classic Cannon. That alone makes Cyborg worth at least one viewing. Of course, this is my opinion. I like Cannon movies. Even when they’re bad, they’re still pretty good. More than that, Cyborg proves that bad movies from 30 years ago are much better than some of today’s mediocre ones. At the very least, they’re more fun. Watch it and tell me if you agree.
*= Cyborg also utilizes sets and costumes from an aborted live-action Spider-Man movie. When Cannon went bankrupt in ’87, they had to cancel it along with Masters of the Universe 2.
TRIVIA TIDBIT: JCVD turned down lead roles in Delta Force 2 and American Ninja 3 to star in Cyborg. He now admits he made the wrong choice.
