Nowhere to Run (1993)    Columbia/Action-Drama    RT: 94 minutes    Rated R (language, violence, children in peril, nudity, sexual content)    Director: Robert Harmon    Screenplay: Joe Eszterhas, Leslie Bohem and Randy Feldman    Music: Mark Isham    Cinematography: David Gribble    Release date: January 15, 1993 (US)    Cast: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Rosanna Arquette, Joss Ackland, Ted Levine, Kieran Culkin, Tiffany Taubman, Edward Blatchford, Anthony Starke, Allan Graf.    Box Office: $22.1M (US)/$64M (World)

Rating: *

 I was almost tempted to categorize Nowhere to Run as science-fiction, a genre known for telling incredible stories containing things we know aren’t possible in the real world. One of those impossible things would have to be Jean-Claude Van Damme (Bloodsport) attempting to play a dramatic role. It’s common knowledge that the guy acts with only his fists and feet. He’s less emotive that Steven Seagal if you can imagine that. At least the Under Siege star registers quiet anger and/or bemusement. JCVD is an emotional flatliner. You can’t get a read off this guy.

 As for his superior martial arts skills, they’re scarcely on display in Nowhere to Run, a limp excuse for an action movie. JCVD plays Sam, a convict who has just escaped from a prisoner transport bus with the help of his brother. Unfortunately, his brother gets shot and killed in the process. Sam has to make a run for it. He ends up camping out on the property of Clydie Anderson (Arquette, Desperately Seeking Susan), a young widow with two young children. It seems a corrupt property developer, Franklin Hale (Ackland, Lethal Weapon 2), is trying to force her to sell her land so he can develop it into something more financially lucrative. She doesn’t want to sell, so Hale brings in intimidation expert Dunston (Levine, The Silence of the Lambs) in hopes it will make Clydie change her mind.

  Meanwhile, her children Mookie (Culkin, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World) and Bree (Taubman) discover Sam hiding in the woods. He comes to the rescue when some thugs show up at the house. He does what JCVD does best, he beats them to a pulp. The kids like him and after a while, Clydie starts to like him too. None of them know he’s an escaped convict, but Hale and his men want to know who this stranger is and why he’s hampering their efforts to obtain the property.

 The biggest mistake Nowhere to Run makes is making its star forsake his usual forte in favor of territory that’s alien to him. Director Robert Harmon (The Hitcher) tries to make him come off as sensitive and caring in his efforts to help a young mother and her children. I have to ask whether the filmmakers realized at any point it wasn’t going to work. Fight scenes are few and far in between. Even then, JCVD doesn’t get to show off the full extent of his fighting abilities. Sure, there’s the escape scene at the beginning of the movie, a few fights and the climax where Sam rides back into town and saves the day even though he knows it means going back to jail. For the most part though, Nowhere to Run is a slow-moving bore.

 It would be bad enough if JCVD’s unconvincing performance was the only problem with Nowhere to Run, but it’s not. There’s more to it. The screenplay, co-written by Basic Instinct scribe Joe Eszterhas, is filled with gaping plot holes like none of the locals recognizing the fugitive in their midst. Surely, the escape of a convicted robber would be covered by the media. His mug shot would be plastered all over TV and the local newspaper. At the very least, one person would recognize him and blow the whistle. And where are the state police and feds? They’d definitely be all over this situation. Other than the local sheriff (Blatchford, The Last of the Mohicans) that assaults Sam at one point (they’re in love with the same girl), the law doesn’t show up until the end. That leads to the obligatory climactic chase where Sam easily outruns cops in land rovers and helicopters on a motorcycle. That would be the big action scene, but it comes a bit too late to be of any interest.

 On the upside, Arquette looks really good (especially naked). On the downside, her performance isn’t believable. She doesn’t seem like a country girl. Levine phones in the same kind of performance he delivers in all his movies. You just have to take one look at him to know that he’s unhinged. And what is Ackland doing here? Yes, he made a perfectly detestable villain in Lethal Weapon 2, but he botches it up pretty good here. You never get the idea that he’s truly vicious; he gets other guys to do his dirty work. He’s more of a nuisance than anything else. When he sets somebody’s house on fire, it’s more of an afterthought.

 It wouldn’t be fair to call Nowhere to Run JCVDs worst movie. Has anybody seen Cyborg? If not, keep it that way. It is, however, certainly a low point in his “acting” career. My advice to JCVD is this. Stick with what you know, sir. Keep kicking bad guys’ asses. Dirty Harry once said “a man’s got to know his limitations”. It’s sound advice JCVD would be wise to follow.

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