The Wizard (1989) Universal/Comedy-Drama RT: 100 minutes Rated PG (language, mild violence, children in peril) Director: Todd Holland Screenplay: David Chislom Music: J. Peter Robinson Cinematography: Robert D. Yeoman Release date: December 15, 1989 (US) Cast: Fred Savage, Luke Edwards, Jenny Lewis, Christian Slater, Beau Bridges, Will Seltzer, Wendy Phillips, Sam McMurray, Frank McRae, Jackey Vinson, Vincent Leahr, Beth Grant. Box Office: $14.3M (US)
Rating: * ½
Some movies require you to suspend disbelief. The Wizard expects you to forget every single thing you know about reality. The world in this movie bears only a slight resemblance to the one we live in. It’s a world where three kids (13 and under) can hitchhike hundreds of miles on their own and not encounter a single pedophile.
This is just one of the many things about The Wizard that viewers of a certain age (and IQ) will question. I’m referring, of course, to the parents that get stuck watching this movie with their kids. To its credit, The Wizard knows exactly what audience it’s targeting. That would be preteen video game junkies. This would explain why it feels more like an extended commercial for Nintendo- in particular, the yet-to-be-released Super Mario Bros. 3 game- than an actual movie. The way it plugs products is shameless, but at least it’s something of the world we know. Everything else in The Wizard seems to come from some alternate reality.
It opens with a 9YO boy, Jimmy (Edwards, Little Big League), walking down a desert highway ALONE carrying only a lunchbox. A helicopter spots him and radios the police. A trooper arrives, asks a few questions and brings the boy back to his family. Here’s the story on Jimmy. He is extremely withdrawn due to a family tragedy. He barely speaks. For reasons that are revealed later, he wants to go to California. Nobody can get through to him. Finally, his mom (Phillips, Promised Land) and stepdad (McMurray, Christmas Vacation) have him committed to a mental facility. This doesn’t go over well with his older brother Corey (Savage, The Wonder Years) who lives with his father Sam (Bridges, The Fabulous Baker Boys) and rebellious teenage brother Nick (Slater, Heathers). He decides to break Jimmy out of the facility and take him to California himself. This, naturally, sets off a race to find the young runaways. The mother and stepdad hire a sleazy child catcher, Putnam (Seltzer, Citizens Band), to bring back their son. Sam and Nick also hit the road to look for the kids.
Along the way, the boys meet up with Haley (Lewis, Troop Beverly Hills), a streetwise 13YO girl heading home to Reno. They decide to travel together after discovering that Jimmy has a savant-like gift for video games. It’s Haley who comes up with the idea on entering him in a HUGE video game competition in L.A. (“Video Armageddon”) with a grand prize of $50,000. Taking a cue from The Color of Money, the junior trio uses Jimmy’s VG abilities to hustle money from strangers. This is where they meet Lucas (Vinson), a cocky jerk who excels at every game. Of course you know Jimmy will go up against this guy in the climax.
The Wizard is a far-FAR-fetched movie filled with half-baked ideas, unbelievable scenarios and idiotic adults. Let’s start with all the wonderful WHO (Whoa, Hold On) story elements. We’ve already covered Jimmy walking down a highway without being noticed by drivers passing by. I also mentioned the central story concept of three youngsters travelling a long distance (Utah to California) by themselves. How is it possible that NOT one adult thinks to call the police? They walk into bars, diners, arcades and casinos. They get a room at a hotel. They walk and hitch rides on highways. Yet nobody is the least bit suspicious of these unaccompanied minors. Not only that, the fact that nothing terrible happens to them defies all odds. Aren’t runaways prime targets for child abductors or worse? The worst things that befall these lucky kids are a couple of encounters with rough types who rob them of all their money. And what’s up with the mental facility? It was scarily easy for Corey to walk in, look around and leave with Jimmy. Anybody could walk in and take a kid. I thought these places had security? I didn’t see a single doctor, nurse or orderly. This place is a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Then there’s the child catcher. He’s a creep. No, I take that back. He’s an inept creep. Yet somehow he manages to find them more than once. Oh, he never catches them. The kids always outsmart him. The one time he manages to briefly capture Jimmy, he calls him a “freak”. He chases the kids and terrorizes them. He’s slime, no two ways about it. However, since The Wizard is supposed to be a kid-pleaser, he ends up cheering Jimmy on in the final round of the competition. Yeah, okay.
Somewhere in The Wizard is a half-cooked subplot about the rocky relationship between Sam and Nick. They can’t communicate. Maybe looking for Corey and Jimmy together will bring them closer? Maybe ramming their pick-up into Putnam’s car will fix what’s broken between them? BTW, how is it that Putnam manages to travel to L.A. in a busted-up car without being stopped by police? His vehicle is definitely not safe for road travel. Where’s Michael McKean from Planes, Trains and Automobiles when you need him most? ANYWAY, how do father and son finally resolve their issues? Over the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles video game, of course.
The Wizard takes place in a world where all the grown-ups are either clueless or just plain stupid. And where are the police? Or, for that matter, the feds? Surely they’d play some role in a case involving missing children. At the very least, there would have been some arrests after that car-ramming business. Stupidity runs rampant in The Wizard. HOWEVER, this temporarily fades into the background in one of the most tasteless, irresponsible scenes I’ve ever seen in a kid’s movie. In order to save Jimmy from Putnam in the video game casino, Haley screams, “He touched my breast!” Falsely accusing somebody of molestation, how nice. What does that teach kids?
To be fair, I’ve seen worse kid’s movies than The Wizard. Anyone who’s seen the 1994 Rob Reiner crapfest North can make the same claim. There is some entertainment value to The Wizard. It’s bad but not unwatchable. There’s fun to be had in observing all the wrong moves it makes. It’s laughable to see how self-promoting it is. The climactic chase takes place in the midst of a Universal Studios tour. All that’s missing is somebody asking for Babs. It’s portrayal of childhood mental illness is simplistic at best and insulting at worst. Jimmy’s condition is treated more like a plot device; the movie never addresses it seriously. Then, at the end, it offers up a quick fix and even that’s treated as an afterthought. There’s just so much wrong with The Wizard. It’s a bad movie, no question about it. In that respect, it’s kind of fun (almost).
