Mac and Me (1988) Orion Pictures/Sci-Fi-Adventure-Fantasy RT: 99 minutes Rated PG (mild language, some scenes might upset younger viewers) Director: Stewart Raffill Screenplay: Stewart Raffill and Steve Feke Music: Alan Silvestri Cinematography: Nick McLean Release date: August 12, 1988 (US) Cast: Jade Calegory, Christine Ebersole, Jonathan Ward, Katrina Caspary, Lauren Stanley, Vinnie Torrente, Martin West, Ronald McDonald. Box Office: $6.4M (US)
Rating: *
Since watching the 1988 sci-fi dud Mac and Me, I’ve been envisioning the pitch meeting between the producers and the Orion studio executive who greenlighted the movie. For the purposes of this review, let’s refer to the producers as “Mike” and the studio exec “John”. I don’t know if it really went down this way, but it definitely sounds plausible.
John: “So, what have you got for me?”
Mike: ” It’s a can’t miss idea! It’s a family movie about a small alien who gets stranded on Earth and befriended by a young boy.”
John: “Sounds a lot like E.T.”
Mike: “It’s similar, but different enough that Spielberg won’t try and sue us.”
John: “What’s different about your movie?”
Mike: “For one thing, there’s no young sister.”
John: “But there’s an older teenage brother I presume?”
Mike: “Yes. We need teenage characters to appeal to the teenage ticket buyers.”
John: “Okay, fine. What else is different? Is it a two-parent household?”
Mike: “Oh no, still a single mom, but she’s widowed instead of divorced.”
John: “So far I’m not all that impressed. Is there anything major that differentiates it from E.T.?”
Mike: “Well, I guess this is as good a time as any to tell you that McDonald’s has their hat in the ring”
John: “McDonald’s? As in the fast food burger chain?”
Mike: “Yep, that’s the one. They’re interested, but only if they can have some creative input.”
John: “Like what?”
Mike: “For one thing, the little boy who befriends the alien has spina bifida, so he’s in a wheelchair. It’s supposed to make the audience think of Ronald McDonald House.”
John: “I figured as much. What else do they want?”
Mike: “Well, they want us to have a supporting character work at McDonald’s so he or she can wear the uniform throughout the movie. They also want us to set a scene inside a McDonald’s. They were thinking maybe a birthday party. They’re thinking that when the kids see that in the movie, they’ll ask their parents if they have their next birthday party at McDonald’s. It’s all about sales with these people.”
John: “Is that all?”
Mike: “No. They want us to give their mascot a role in the movie.”
John: “Ronald McDonald in a movie? Can he act? What would he do?”
Mike: “It would just be a cameo appearance. He would only have a line or two. BUT they want the birthday party scene to be a musical number.”
John: “It’s starting to sound more like an extended commercial than a movie. Tell me more about the story.”
Mike: “Okay. A family of aliens from some unknown planet finds themselves stranded on Earth. See, that’s another difference between our movie and Spielberg’s.”
John: “Go on.”
Mike: “Well, the youngest alien gets separated from his family and ends up in the back of a van driven by a mother moving to California with her two sons after the death of her husband. Once they get to their new home, the alien proceeds to cause all sorts of mischief. The only ones who see him are the young boy and his friend, the little girl who lives next door. That should appeal to the little girls in the audience.”
John: “Stop right there. Tell me more about the little boy. Is a known child actor playing him or what?”
Mike: “Even better! We have a kid who really has spina bifida. His name is Jade Calegory and he’s really excited about being in the movie.”
John: “Can he act? Is he appealing?”
Mike: “That’s the beauty of it. It doesn’t matter. No critic is his right mind will criticize this kid’s talent or lack thereof. Nobody wants to be thought of as heartless. Audiences will admire this kid’s courage and spirit. It’s a win-win situation.”
John: “Sounds exploitive to me.”
Mike: “You say exploitive. I say it’ll attract the disabled demographic.”
John: (Sighs) “Is there a bad guy?”
Mike: “Yes, government agents. They want to do experiments on the alien and his family.”
John: “Of course. I should have known. What happens next in the story?”
Mike: The kids, that is, the handicapped boy and his friend Debbie, the older brother Mike and Debbie’s older sister Courtney, try to evade the government bad guys while helping little Mac find his family. They’re stranded in the desert.”
John: “Mac?”
Mike: “That’s what Eric, the main kid, names him. It’s an acronym for “Mysterious Alien Creature”.
John: How clever. I suppose there’s a big chase scene?”
Mike: “Absolutely! The bad guys chase Eric and Mac on foot along a busy highway with cars zipping and swerving all around.”
John: “Let me guess. Mac makes Eric’s wheelchair fly at some point during the chase, right?”
Mike: (Chuckles) “We tossed that idea around, but it’s too close to E.T. and we all know Spielberg will sue.”
John: “Well, aren’t you afraid that the kids in the audience will realize that your movie is a rip-off of E.T.?”
Mike: “Not at all. The age group we’re going for is too young to have seen E.T. in either its original release or 1985 re-release. It’s still not out on video, so we’re safe. And even if they have seen it, they’re too young to care about such things.”
John: “Are there any name actors in your movie?”
Mike: “Christine Ebersole.”
John: “Who?”
Mike: “Christine Ebersole. She was on Saturday Night Live for one season. She plays the mother. [brief pause] She was the biggest name we could get.”
John: “What’s your movie called?”
Mike: “Mac and Me.”
John: “It figures. You do know E.T. was once known as E.T. and Me, right?”
Mike: “So what? The title isn’t copyrighted.”
John: “Give me the bottom line. What’s this movie going to cost?”
Mike: “Only about 13 million, but other companies have put up some cash, provided we plug their products.”
John: “Who?”
Mike: “It’s okay. We’ve already written them into the storyline. Mac likes drinking Coke. Eric captures Mac by leaving a trail of Coke-filled paper cups. He also enjoys Skittles. The mother works at Sears. And you already know about McDonald’s.”
John: “What about special effects?”
Mike: “Minimal. We have actors wearing rubber costumes playing the aliens. We can shoot the opening scenes in some desert which will serve nicely as their home planet. The most costly thing will be an explosion near the end of the picture.”
John: “Will it make audiences cry like E.T.?”
Mike: “Yes, most definitely! Especially the scene where the aliens help Eric after he’s seriously injured and near death.”
John: “I think I’ve heard enough. When do you want to release this thing?”
Mike: “We see it as a summer movie when the kids are out of school. We know that competition is typically fierce during this time, especially in the first half of the season, so we’re thinking an August release date.”
John: “Do you think it’ll work?”
Mike: “Yes, of course. Our movie is that good. It will take audiences by surprise and play well into the holiday season.”
John: “Does it have sequel potential?”
Mike: “We can certainly leave the door open. We’ll even end the picture by promising that the Mac and company will be back.”
John: “Okay, I get the picture. One last question before I greenlight this movie, this Mac and Me. What if it tanks?”
Dead silence and FREEZE! Fade to black.
