Trail of the Pink Panther (1982) United Artists/Comedy RT: 97 minutes Rated PG (language, slapstick violence, brief nudity) Director: Blake Edwards Screenplay: Frank Waldman, Tom Waldman, Blake Edwards and Geoffrey Edwards Music: Henry Mancini Cinematography: Dick Bush Release date: December 17, 1982 (US) Cast: Peter Sellers, David Niven, Herbert Lom, Richard Mulligan, Joanna Lumley, Capucine, Robert Loggia, Harvey Korman, Burt Kwouk, Graham Stark, Peter Arne, Andre Maranne, Ronald Fraser, Denise Crosby, Leonard Rossiter. Box Office: $9M (US)
Rating: NO STARS!!!
With the death of star Peter Sellers two years earlier, you’d think director Blake Edwards would retire the Pink Panther series as a sign of respect. Sadly, he did not. Instead, he came up with the bright idea to fashion a new movie around unused footage of Sellers- i.e. outtakes, deleted scenes, alternate takes and flashbacks. Thus, Trail of the Pink Panther came into being.
YIKES! It’s not a movie, it’s an abomination. It’s not a tribute to Sellers, it’s an insult to his memory. It’s so bad his widow sued the makers and won. Too bad she couldn’t get the studio to destroy all existing prints of it as well. The key to really understanding the awfulness of Trail of the Pink Panther lies in comparing the scenes featuring the late actor to those that don’t. There’s a noticeable disconnect between them. It isn’t a steady flow. It’s very discordant. This description applies mainly to the first half of Trail of the Pink Panther during which Edwards uses deleted and extended scenes from 1976’s The Pink Panther Strikes Again. There’s a reason why these scenes were excised in the first place. THEY’RE TERRIBLE! They go above and beyond unfunny. They are excruciatingly unfunny to the point of causing physical pain. Watching them, you almost forget how gifted a comic actor Sellers really was.
The plot is a no-brainer (on ALL levels!). The Pink Panther diamond has once again been stolen from Lugash and Chief Inspector Clouseau has once again been called upon to solve the case. See how I described this in one sentence? Edwards drags it out by inserting footage of Clouseau engaging in his usual tomfoolery. The first scene after the animated opening credits- inarguably the best, and only watchable, part of the movie- has the detective visiting his disguise maker Professor Balls (Korman, Blazing Saddles) at his shop. This scene goes on far too long. We also get two different scenes of Clouseau setting his office on fire and setting off the sprinkler system drenching everybody in the vicinity. As usual, the mere mention of Clouseau’s name causes Chief Inspector Dreyfus’ (Lom, The Ladykillers) eye to twitch uncontrollably. He’s only too happy to be rid of his most despised man for a while. After a brief visit to London (does it really matter why?), he heads off to Lugash and his plane disappears. It’s presumed terrorists might have shot it down. But could Clouseau still be alive?
This sets up the second half of the movie in which television journalist Marie Jouvet (Lumley, Absolutely Fabulous) investigates the detective’s disappearance. She interviews those who knew him best which is really just an excuse for Edwards to use scenes from earlier movies as flashbacks. Among those she talks to are faithful servant Cato (Kwouk), former Shot in the Dark partner Hercule Lajoy (Stark, Victor Victoria), Mafia don Bruno Langlois (Loggia, Psycho II) and master jewel thief Sir Charles Litton (Niven). She also meets with his father (Mulligan, S.O.B.) who provides glimpses of his son’s childhood and his stint with the French Resistance. He also proves beyond any doubt that the apple didn’t fall far from this family tree. This second half of Trail of the Pink Panther works ever-so-slightly better than the first only because the clips of Sellers are tried and true. Still, that’s not saying much.
While I didn’t see Trail of the Pink Panther at the movies, I recall having a casual conversation with the ticket taker at the theater where it played about a month earlier. He said the manager couldn’t wait to get rid of it due to the consistently poor turn-out and irate patrons walking out demanding refunds. I’m sorry to say that Trail of the Pink Panther is the first Pink Panther movie I ever saw in its entirety. I watched it on HBO in January ’84 and couldn’t believe how truly awful it was. Even with my passing familiarity with the characters, I knew it was a botch job. But there’s no way it could have succeeded either. I get the impression Edwards wasn’t even trying that hard. I think a small part of him knew it was a bad idea, but he went ahead with it anyway.
Let’s talk about the scenes built around the old Sellers footage. They’re clumsy, awkward and heavy-handed. A few of the actors look positively ashamed at their involvement. Even worse, Niven’s failing health necessitated bringing in impressionist Rich Little to dub all his dialogue during post-production. You can tell that the voice doesn’t quite match.
Trail of the Pink Panther is so incompetently made I can’t believe it got a theatrical release. Did anybody at MGM actually watch the picture before inflicting it on the public? If so, how could they not have seen it’s not at all funny? The only tolerable part is the trademark animated opening sequence featuring the famous theme by Henry Mancini. The closing credits feature a montage of clips from the previous Pink Panther movies. By this time, it’s a case of too little/too late.
Not only is Trail of the Pink Panther the worst entry in the series, it’s one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. As much as I’ve enjoyed many of Edwards’ other movies, I have to call him out on this one. Making this movie is akin to spitting on Sellers’ grave. It’s even worse than The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu, the last film the actor completed before dying of a heart attack in July ’80. I’m certain he’s still spinning in his grave over Trail of the Pink Panther. This is one movie that should just disappear. I doubt anyone would miss it or even bother looking for it.
TRIVIA TIDBIT: Julie Andrews (Edwards’ wife) appears in an unbilled cameo as a cleaning lady in the scene where Dreyfus falls down a flight of steps after learning of Clouseau’s possible demise.
