Octopussy (1983) MGM-UA/Action-Adventure RT: 131 minutes Rated PG (violence, suggestive material, brief nudity, some language) Director: John Glen Screenwriter: George MacDonald Fraser, Michael G. Wilson and Richard Maibaum Music: John Barry Cinematography: Alan Hume Release date: June 10, 1983 (US) Cast: Roger Moore, Maud Adams, Louis Jordan, Kristina Wayborn, Kabir Bedi, Steven Berkoff, David Meyer, Tony Meyer, Desmond Llewelyn, Robert Brown, Lois Maxwell, Michaela Clavell, Walter Gotell, Vijay Amritraj, Albert Moses. Box Office: $67.3M (US) Opening Song: “All Time High” by Rita Coolidge
Rating: ***
I admit it, I still snicker like a teenager when I think of the title of the 13th James Bond movie Octopussy. Like 95% of all men, part of my mind is still set to gutter default. But to be fair, even the most puritanical would probably think Octopussy sounds like a porno movie when they first hear it.
Let’s set all that aside now and talk about the actual film. I like Octopussy. Oddly enough, it’s the only one I didn’t see in theaters after moviegoing became a regular activity in ’81. It also bears mentioning it came out in what I like to call the year of “Bond vs. Bond” with Sean Connery’s return to the role that made him famous in the “unofficial” Bond movie Never Say Never Again that October.
Roger Moore returns as Agent 007 in this exciting, action-packed adventure that pits him against exiled Afghan prince Kamal Khan (Jourdan, Swamp Thing) and Soviet general Orlov (Berkoff, Beverly Hills Cop) in plot involving a jewel-smuggling ring headed by a wealthy businesswoman known only as Octopussy (Adams, The Man with the Golden Gun). She’s an interesting character. She lives on a private island with her all-female Octopus cult. Men aren’t allowed, naturally. That is, except for Mr. Bond with whom she has a previous connection and I don’t mean The Man with the Golden Gun.
Convoluted plots are pretty much a constant in the James Bond universe and Octopussy proudly carries on that tradition. It doesn’t make a lot of sense, but what the hell? It’s James Bond! The MI6 agent’s involvement begins after the murder of fellow agent 009 at the hands of twin knife-throwing assassins in East Berlin. He manages to stumble into the British embassy with a fake Faberge egg in hand before dying. I’m not going to waste a lot of time trying to untangle the knotted storyline. Instead, I’ll just say it involves counterfeit jewels, jewel-smuggling, a traveling circus, a nuclear bomb and the Soviet general’s megalomaniacal plan to invade Western Europe. Does it really matter how it all fits together?
Directed by John Glen, Octopussy is a well-oiled action machine that more than once crosses into the realm of the absurd with its silly Cold War plot. It’s laden with clichés including the red digital read-out counting down the seconds before a bomb is set to explode. So what? It’s really more about the action and crazy stunts. On that level, it succeeds in spades. It has a lot of cool stuff in it. I’m particularly fond of the unique deadly weapon used by a hitman sent to kill Bond, a “yo-yo saw” (two buzz saw blades on an axle with a cord looped around it). It has several exciting scenes, especially the part where Bond and an associate escape from baddies on a rickshaw through an Indian marketplace. The pre-credits sequence, set in Cuba, has Bond trying to outrun a heat-seeking missile in a mini-jet. There’s a great scene with Bond on a train. When he’s not clinging for dear life underneath it, he’s running on top of it jumping from car to car with bad guys in pursuit. The climax features Bond fighting with hulking Indian henchman Govinda outside an airborne plane. In addition, it has the John Barry score and a great theme song “All Time High” by Rita Coolidge.
As you all know, Moore is my favorite Bond. Witty and suave, he gets off the best one-liners. When he encounters a tiger while being chased through a jungle, he orders the animal to “SIT!” in the style of famous British dog trainer Barbara Woodhouse. He gets away from his pursuers by swinging on vines while the famous Tarzan yell is heard over the soundtrack. Okay, that’s a bit ridiculous, but I’m willing to accept it. Moore still makes a formidable Bond even if he’s getting up there in years. He’s agile, tough and smooth with the ladies. Adams is great as Octopussy, a thief with a sense of decency. The problem is she isn’t given enough to do until the end when she and her girls help Bond using their circus skills. Jordan’s Khan isn’t the most memorable Bond villain, but he gets the job done. He does get off one good line when he says, “Mr. Bond is, indeed, a very rare breed, soon to be made extinct.” Berkoff, on the other hand, hams it up mightily as the prototypical 80s Russian villain.
I suppose the most important thing is Octopussy is a great deal of fun. It’s a great popcorn flick as opposed to a great movie. So what if you can’t make heads or tails of the plot? It exists solely to entertain and that it does.
