Saturn 3 (1980) Associated Film Distribution/Sci-Fi-Thriller RT: 88 minutes Rated R (violence, nudity) Director: Stanley Donen Screenplay: Martin Amis Music: Elmer Bernstein Cinematography: Billy Williams Release date: February 15, 1980 (US) Cast: Kirk Douglas, Farrah Fawcett, Harvey Keitel. Box Office: $9M (US)
Rating: *
The sci-fi dud Saturn 3 is the first of what I think of as producer Lew Grade’s Unholy Trinity, the three expensive failures- the other two being Raise the Titanic (1980) and The Legend of the Lone Ranger (1981)- that effectively ended his involvement in the film industry.
Truth is, Saturn 3 is a terrible movie. It succeeds as neither sci-fi nor a thriller. Allow me to break it down for you. There are basically two types of science fiction movies: (1) intelligent, thought-provoking films like Forbidden Planet, 2001: A Space Odyssey and Silent Running (I’ll even put 1974’s Zardoz in that category) and (2) fun, action-packed space operas like Star Wars and Flash Gordon. Saturn 3 isn’t either type even though it wants to be both.
Despite all attempts, Saturn 3 is incredibly stupid and boring. Hence, it’s sci-fi only in the academic sense. As for it being a thriller, we already know that the new arrival at the space station is a psychotic killer. We saw it in the opening scene. We also know that the robot he builds will be of the killer variety. It’s an inevitability. We also have a pretty good idea who will meet a bloody end at the robot’s hands. How many times has the creation killed its creator? There’s virtually no suspense. Hence, it fails as a thriller. All that’s left is a shiny package with nothing in it.
Adam (Douglas, Out of the Past) and his lover Alex (Fawcett, Charlie’s Angels) live and work in a hydroponics research facility on Saturn’s third moon (hence, the title). She’s lived in space all her life; she knows nothing of Earth which, in the future, has become an overcrowded place. They live an idyllic existence that’s shattered by the arrival of “Captain Benson” (Keitel, Taxi Driver). What they don’t know is that this person killed the person he claims to be so he could replace him on the mission to Saturn 3. The objective is to replace one of the scientists with a large robot called Hector, named for the figure in Greek mythology. He’s the first of the “Demigod” series which relies on pure human brain tissue. Of course, things go very wrong very fast. He’s linked to Benson’s brain and since the man calling himself Benson is a homicidal maniac obsessed with Alex, Hector follows suit.
A clue to how Saturn 3 ends is when Adam points out, during a game of chess, that Hector doesn’t understand the idea of sacrifice. Only humans are capable of understanding the concept. With that, Adam’s fate is pretty much sealed. This movie is as predictable as night and day. The only things it has going for it are set design (it is a good-looking movie) and a decent sci-fi score by Elmer Bernstein.
It sure doesn’t score any points in the acting department. Fawcett is terrible. Not a single word that comes out of her mouth sounds the least bit convincing. She’s eye candy, nothing more. At least we get a shot of her boobs. Keitel delivers every line of dialogue in a robotic monotone which should have been a tip-off to the other two. That and the malevolent facial expression he wears throughout the entire movie. Douglas looks like he has no idea what he got himself into by agreeing to star. He must have thought with an experienced, talented director like Stanley Donen (Singin’ in the Rain, Charade) behind the camera, it couldn’t be that bad. But it is. Oh, is it ever!
Saturn 3 wants the audience to believe it’s an intelligent sci-fi film with all the scientific jargon and the heavy ideas it barely touches upon. Don’t be fooled, it’s a movie for morons. Even the special effects aren’t very special. At 88 minutes, it still feels dragged out. It’s also very derivative, Forbidden Planet and Silent Running immediately come to mind. Its worst offense, however, is being boring. At least the makers could have spiced it up with some graphic violence and more sex and nudity. It should earn its R rating. I can’t say for sure what Donen set out to accomplish, but I can say unequivocably that he failed. Oh, did he ever!
