The Squeeze (1987) TriStar/Action-Comedy RT: 101 minutes Rated PG-13 (language, violence) Director: Roger Young Screenplay: Daniel Taplitz Music: Miles Goodman Cinematography: Arthur Albert Release date: July 10, 1987 (US) Cast: Michael Keaton, Rae Dawn Chong, Joe Pantoliano, John Davidson, Meat Loaf, Ronald Guttman, George Gerdes, Leslie Bevis, Liane Langland, Pat McNamara, Paul Herman, John Dennis Johnston, Richard Portnow. Box Office: $2.2M (US)
Rating: ** ½
It’s an observation I’ve made before and I’m going to make it again. The bad movies from back in the day are much better than the bad movies of today. Take a look at The Squeeze, an action-comedy starring Michael Keaton and Rae Dawn Chong. It’s what I call a “one-week wonder” meaning it was in and out of theaters in a week. I saw it on the very last night it played at the old Lawrence Park Theater. Not only that, I dragged my father into it. Sorry, Dad.
Although the reviews were unanimously bad, I didn’t think it could be as bad as the critics claimed. Well, so much for youthful optimism. They were right. It was terrible! It was almost as bad as Hot Pursuit which I saw about two months prior. I didn’t laugh once; I didn’t even smile. It made my bottom 10 list for ’87. Now flash forward to this past weekend. I noticed The Squeeze was playing on Tubi and was in its final two days on the free streaming service. So why, after all these years, did I decide to rewatch it? I figured after enduring some really bad comedies over the past 15 years, it might not be as bad as I remember. My experiment produced the expected results. The Squeeze is better than I remember it being. I hate to admit it, but I actually kind of like it now.
Down on his luck artist Harry Berg (Keaton, Night Shift) and ambitious skip tracer Rachel Dobs (Chong, Commando) find themselves mixed up in a conspiracy connected to a mysterious package that his ex-wife Hilda (Langland) asks him to retrieve from her apartment. In addition to the parcel, he also finds a body. Is it possible his ex murdered somebody? It soon becomes apparent that whatever is in the package is valuable. A lot of people want to get their hands on it like wealthy Bulgarian businessman Rigaud (Guttman, Little Nikita) and his two thugs, Joe (Gerdes, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) and Titus (rocker Meat Loaf). The latter has a glandular disorder that causes him to sweat non-stop.
So what is this thing that everybody’s after? Why, it’s the McGuffin, of course. It’s an electromagnetic device the bad guys plan to use to rig the state lottery, currently at $58 million. Will Harry and Rachel work together to stop the bad guys? Will they fall in love along the way? If you hesitate on either question, you need a refresher course in Basic Screenwriting 101.
The Squeeze was originally titled Skip Tracer after the female lead’s profession, but the producers changed it on the presumption that not too many people know what the term means. For the record, it refers to a person who tracks down missing or hard-to-find people for the purposes of collecting debts or serving summonses. In the movie, Rachel tries in vain to serve Harry a summons on behalf of his ex-wife seeking back alimony. Here’s where The Squeeze becomes educational. In order for a summons to be valid, the served person has to actually physically touch it. In other words, the server can’t just slip it under the door or something. Good to know. In any event, this situation serves as the movie’s meet-cute moment.
I guess the main problem with The Squeeze is that it isn’t funny, an especially disappointing thing with gifted actors like Keaton and Chong in the lead roles. Keaton has amazing range as an actor, but I’ll always think of him first as a comic wild man. Look at his debut, the 1982 comedy Night Shift. Classic! He followed that up with 1983’s Mr. Mom, not a great movie by any means, but made better by his presence. Chong more than held her own against Arnold Schwarzenegger in Commando. She has great timing. There appears to be some chemistry between the two, but the flawed screenplay makes it hard to measure with any degree of accuracy.
The plot is muddled and indistinct. At times, it’s unclear what’s going on. When you stop and think about it, the story doesn’t make a lot of sense. For example, why does the big lottery drawing take place on a battleship? Director Roger Young (Lassiter) never bothers to explain this. Even the look of the movie is a bust. I understand The Squeeze is a comic take on film noir, but instead of enhancing the suspense (of which there is none anyway), it only makes it harder for the viewer to see what’s going on. This isn’t an example of style; it’s an example of poor lighting.
The supporting cast is kind of interesting. John Davidson, host of That’s Incredible (1980-84) and the revived Hollywood Squares (1986-89), plays “Honest Tom T. Murray”, the host of the lottery program. Wait until you get a load of his helmet hair. He’s actually the only funny thing in The Squeeze. Him and the sculpture Harry is building in his apartment for a gay Puerto Rican night club owner (Portnow, Tin Men). It’s a dinosaur constructed of lights and old TV sets. Joe Pantoliano (Guido the killer pimp from Risky Business) shows up as Harry’s friend Norman, but isn’t given all that much to do. While it’s always great to see Meat Loaf, his character is pretty gross and unappealing.
The tone of The Squeeze is uneven, but usually dark. I give Keaton and Chong a lot of credit for doing their best with such an odd screenplay. BUT like I said at the onset, it seems like a much better movie in comparison to much of what passes for comedies at multiplexes these days. I was actually entertained this time around. I like how wrong-headed, misconceived and just plain weird this movie is. It’s almost innocent in its incompetence. I wish they still made bad movies this good. Does that make sense?
Incidentally, the movie that replaced The Squeeze was none other than Jaws: The Revenge. Like that did any better!
TRIVIA TIDBIT: Jenny Wright (St. Elmo’s Fire, Near Dark) was supposed to play the female lead, but was replaced by Chong.
