Black Christmas (2006) Dimension/Horror RT: 94 minutes Unrated Version (strong horror violence and gore, sexuality, nudity, language, alcohol abuse) Director: Glen Morgan Screenplay: Glen Morgan Music: Shirley Walker Cinematography: Robert McLachlan Release date: December 25, 2006 (US) Cast: Katie Cassidy, Michelle Trachtenberg, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Lacey Chabert, Kristen Cloke, Andrea Martin, Crystal Lowe, Oliver Hudson, Karin Konoval, Dean Friss, Robert Mann, Jessica Harmon, Leela Savasta, Kathleen Kole, Cainan Wiebe, Howard Siegel, Peter Wilds. Box Office: $16.2M (US)/$21.5M (World) Body Count: 18
Rating: *** ½
“Deck the halls with bowels and entrails, fa la la la la la la la la!”
That would be an appropriate song for Black Christmas, a remake of the 1974 holiday horror movie directed by Bob Clark (A Christmas Story). If you think Silent Night, Deadly Night is over the top, wait until you get an eyeful of what’s going on here!
The girls of Delta Alpha Kappa are celebrating Christmas Eve in their sorority house. It’s the same house where Billy Lenz butchered his entire family on Christmas Eve 15 years earlier. Billy’s mother (Konoval, Rise of the Planet of the Apes) hates him with a passion because of a birth defect that makes his skin yellow. One night when he’s about six, Billy witnesses her and her lover murder his father and bury the body underneath the house. She locks him away in the attic for most of his life. During that time, she drunkenly molests her son (Christmas Eve ’82) and gives birth to a baby girl. On Christmas Eve ‘91, Billy escapes from the attic and goes on a killing spree. He stabs his stepfather through the eye with a sharpened Christmas ornament. He spares his sister/daughter Agnes only gouging out one of her eyes. He saves the best for Mom. After bludgeoning her with a rolling pin, he cuts out large chunks of her flesh with a cookie cutter, bakes them in the oven and eats them. He gets sent to a mental institution where he’s supposed to spend the rest of his life. It doesn’t quite work out that way.
In present-day 2006, the girls of Delta Alpha Kappa have a tradition of placing a gift for Billy under the tree every Christmas Eve. It’s done in the spirit of fun, but Heather (Winstead, Death Proof) thinks it’s sick and refuses to participate even though she drew Billy’s name in their Secret Santa. Clair (Savasta) is preparing to spend the holiday with her estranged older sister Leigh (Cloke, Final Destination). Kelli (Cassidy, Arrow) is dealing with a situation involving a sorority sister Megan (Harmon, iZombie) and her townie boyfriend Kyle (Hudson, Nashville). The only thing that Lauren (Lowe, Final Destination 3) cares about is getting drunk. Dana (Chabert, Mean Girls) is preoccupied with texting on her cell phone. The house mother Ms. Mac (Martin, SCTV) tries to keep everybody’s spirits high despite the raging blizzard outside. It’s the perfect scenario for another killing spree. In case you haven’t already guessed, Billy escapes from the hospital with the intention of coming home for Christmas.
The killing commences almost right away and doesn’t let up until the final scene. It’s a total bloodbath! Black Christmas has a plethora of cool kill scenes. A girl gets an ice skate buried in her skull. Another is decapitated. One gets stabbed through the eye with a fountain pen. Other instruments of death include a garden claw, a motorized surgical saw, an icicle, a glass unicorn figurine and a sharpened candy cane. The girls find a Christmas tree in the attic decorated with eyeballs, intestines and a head on top. Writer-director Glen Morgan (the 2003 remake of Willard) doesn’t skimp on the gore either. This one is up to its neck in blood. I say GREAT!
No two ways about it, Black Christmas is one sick flick. If you’re a fan of splatter cinema, you’ll enjoy it. I know I did. It’s more of a throwback to the holiday-themed slasher movies of the early 80s than it is a direct remake of the original. It follows the same general story with a few changes. The victims-to-be still receive threatening phone calls from the killer only now he calls from the cell phones of his victims. In keeping with the holiday theme, their ring tones are Christmas carols. You’ll never hear “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy” the same way after this. It’s freaky.
Okay, so Black Christmas isn’t what you’d call an art film; I never said it was. However, it works on its own terms. It’s an effective slasher movie. I found the back story interesting; it’s great Morgan took the time to tell Billy’s story and explain his motives to the audience. The sorority sisters/victims are all attractive, but they’re as one-dimensional as any set of victims in any slasher film. Winstead, Lowe and Trachtenberg turn in decent performances in a movie where actual acting ability isn’t a prerequisite. The plot is completely predictable. It’s easy to figure out who will live and who will die. There’s a fair amount of suspense even though we already know the identity of the killer(s). The whole bit about Agnes is somewhat interesting, but I think the seasoned viewer will already know the answers to any questions regarding her current unknown whereabouts.
Black Christmas exists for only one purpose, to gross out audiences with gruesome and imaginative killings. I have to admit I liked the cannibal Christmas cookies; now that’s original! The bloody tree decorations are also cool. The incest scene made my skin crawl. This is the most disturbing aspect of Black Christmas. It only takes one look at 8YO Agnes to know something’s wrong with her.
Some people label Black Christmas as offensive and sacrilegious. Christian groups had a real problem with it being released on Christmas Day. There’s a simple solution to that problem…… DON’T WATCH IT! Where other people see a sick and disgusting piece of filth; I see an example of twisted holiday entertainment that could potentially be a gorehound’s Christmas movie of choice. One could look at it as It’s a Wonderful Life for the splatter flick crowd. For my part, I’ll take it over an angel earning his wings any day.
