Wild Geese II (1985)    Thorn EMI/Action    RT: 125 minutes    Rated R (strong violence, language, some suggestive content)    Director: Peter Hunt    Screenplay: Reginald Rose    Music: Roy Budd    Cinematography: Michael Reed    Release date: October 18, 1985 (US)    Cast: Scott Glenn, Barbara Carrera, Edward Fox, Laurence Olivier, Robert Webber, Robert Freitag, Kenneth Haigh, Stratford Johns, Derek Thompson, Paul Antrim, John Terry, Ingrid Pitt, Malcolm Jamieson, David Lumsden, Frederick Warder, Patrick Stewart.    Box Office: $69,342 (US)

Rating: ***

 I remember trying to watching Wild Geese II on cable one early summer night in ’87. I got bored and switched channels before it reached the midway point. It didn’t hold my interest which was odd because I’m an AJ4L (Action Junkie 4 Life). I knew it at 19 and I’m still going strong at 50+.

 I decided to give Wild Geese II a second chance after rewatching the first movie a couple of weeks back. I had nothing to lose (except two hours of my life) since it’s currently streaming for free on Amazon Prime. This time, I made it all the way through. Although it takes a while to kick into full gear, I wasn’t bored. That doesn’t mean it’s a good movie. It isn’t. It’s not a bad one either. I believe the correct descriptive term for Wild Geese II is ludicrous. Dumb and silly will also do.

 Let’s start with a little backstory. Richard Burton was supposed to reprise his role from the original movie, but he died about a week before filming commenced. After a bit of retooling, Edward Fox (The Day of the Jackal) was cast as the brother of Burton’s character, also a mercenary-for-hire. Wild Geese II, which begins with clips of Burton from the first Wild Geese, is dedicated to the actor’s memory. Any tribute is better than none, right?

 The plot centers on a mission to break Nazi war criminal Rudolf Hess (a visibly frail Olivier in his next-to-last role) out of Spandau Prison in West Berlin. Alex Faulkner (Fox) is summoned to a meeting with international news network execs, siblings Kathy (Carrera, Never Say Never Again) and Michael (Terry, The Living Daylights), who will pay any price for the opportunity to interview Hess who has information that would destroy some prominent political figures. They want him to break Hess, the sole occupant of Spandau, out of jail. Alex turns down the job, referring them instead to fellow mercenary John Haddad (Glenn, The Challenge) who accepts.

 Haddad goes to West Berlin to start planning the operation only to find out other parties are interested in Hess including East German spy Stroebling (Freitag, The Great Escape), rogue British officer Col. Henry (Haigh, Cleopatra) and, of course, the Russians. Come on, it wouldn’t be a party without those trustiest of 80s baddies, the Soviets! He’s joined in his mission by Alex (an expert marksman, btw), stunt driver Pierre (Jamieson, Victor Victoria), IRA soldier Hourigan (Thompson, The Long Good Friday) and Lebanese mercs Joseph (Lumsden, A Prayer for the Dying) and Jamil (Warder, The Living Daylights).

 In a deviation from the male-dominated Wild Geese, Wild Geese II adds estrogen to the mix with Kathy joining Haddad in Berlin to oversee the operation. Naturally, they become romantically involved. You know what this means, right? It means Haddad will have to rescue her from the bad guys at some point during the mission. Otherwise, this subplot is rather superfluous.

 I understand what Wild Geese II is going for and it doesn’t quite get there. It wants to be one of those big star-studded actioners that were popular in the 60s and 70s. It’s missing the big stars. The first one had Burton, Roger Moore, Richard Harris and Hardy Kruger. Wild Geese II has Glenn, Carrera, Fox, Olivier and Robert Webber (The Dirty Dozen) who literally phones it in as the network president. Olivier doesn’t show up until the final 25 minutes and he’s unconscious for most of it. When he finally comes to, he delivers a monologue about not wanting to be a part of modern society. Great makeup job, btw. His resemblance to the real Hess is uncanny. The normally reliable Glenn turns in a disappointingly wooden performance as the hero of the piece, a Lebanese-American with a tragic history. He kicks ass pretty good though, I’ll give him that. Carrera is HOT! She can’t act worth a damn, but she’s nice to look at. Fox shows the most signs of life as Alex, a charming rascal that knows his way around rifles and bazookas. Patrick Stewart (Star Trek: TNG) overacts shamelessly in a small role as a Russian general.

 Once the action starts, Wild Geese II is pretty decent. HOWEVER, it should be better than pretty decent with Peter Hunt (On Her Majesty’s Secret Service) in the director’s chair. This movie should rock, but it doesn’t. Things get convoluted with all the different groups trying to force Haddad to deliver Hess to them for different reasons. It just isn’t the action movie it ought to be. Still, it’s enjoyable if taken on its own terms. I can’t say why I like it exactly. I remember seeing the poster for it at Video Den, so maybe it’s my sense of nostalgia for violent 80s actioners. It could be the passage of time has helped me to appreciate it more. Perhaps it’s the ridiculousness of it all. I don’t know. All I can say is I found Wild Geese II entertaining this time around. I can’t promise you’ll feel the same about it.