Contamination (1980)    Cannon/Horror-Sci-Fi    RT: 95 minutes    Rated R (graphic violence and gore)    Director: Luigi Cozzi (as Lewis Coates)    Screenplay: Luigi Cozzi (as Lewis Coates) and Erich Tomek    Music: Goblin    Cinematography: Giuseppe Pinon    Release date: June 11, 1982 (US)    Cast: Ian McCulloch, Louise Marleau, Marino Mase, Siegfried Rauch, Gisela Hahn, Carlo De Mejo, Carlo Monni.    Box Office: N/A

Rating: ***

 I remember Contamination as Alien Contamination. I can’t say I recall it playing in theaters on or around the US release date given on IMDb (June 11, 1982). Whenever it came out that year, I can say with 100% certainty that I wouldn’t have appreciated it the same way I do now. At that time, I was not yet a fan of all things Cannon. I also hadn’t developed a taste for Italian exploitation yet. As such, the names Luigi Cozzi or Lewis Coates (Luigi’s American nom de plume) wouldn’t have meant anything to me. Now I know him as the director of Starcrash (greatest Star Wars knock-off EVER!), the two Hercules movies with Lou Ferrigno and Contamination, a strange hybrid of sci-fi-horror and James Bond thriller replete with “Talking Villain”.

 An obvious knock-off of Alien, the story begins with a seemingly abandoned ship drifting into New York Harbor. A subsequent search reveals the entire crew is dead and the cargo isn’t coffee. The boxes contain green alien eggs filled with a toxic goo with a fatal effect on humans. Remember the scene in Alien when John Hurt’s chest explodes? BINGO! Get splattered with this green alien goo and it’s all over for the splattee. BOOM! SPLAT! Guts and insides everywhere! The military sends Colonel Stella Holmes (Marleau, Heart Break) to investigate with the help of NYPD Lt. Tony Aris (Mase, The Salamander) who was first on the scene and saw first-hand what the eggs do.

 It’s determined the eggs were brought to Earth after a mission to Mars that didn’t end well for the two astronauts, Hubbard (McCulloch, Zombie) and Hamilton (Rauch, Escape from Athena). Something happened up there, but nobody believes Hubbard’s story. An inquiry, in which the now-deceased Hamilton denied anything happened, results in Hubbard being declared insane and grounded permanently. Now a bitter alcoholic, Stella and Tony call on him to beg for his help now that they believe his story. Reluctantly, he agrees to help them find out why the eggs were brought to the Big Apple.

 Their investigation leads them to a coffee plantation in Colombia that’s really a front for the secret laboratory of the villains, Perla (Hahn, Battle of the Stars) and Hamilton (BIG SURPRISE!). In true Bond fashion, the heroes are captured while posing as potential new clients taken on a tour of the facility. Instead of killing them on the spot, the villains explain their evil plan to exterminate all human life. Haven’t bad guys learned by now that this is a dumb thing to do? It gives the good guys time to devise and execute an escape plan. Do they not teach this in villain school?

 Contamination is an uneven mix of gory horror and silly spy flick. It’s less effective when it falls back on spy movie tropes. It loses a bit of momentum. However, I do believe Cozzi/Coates was onto something with this fusion of genres. Looking to do more than give the world another alien invasion flick, he throws in a conspiracy to wipe out all life on the planet. In and of itself, it isn’t a terrible idea but did he really have to sends the heroes to South America? Why not keep the action in New York City where the bad guys intend to place eggs throughout the sewer system? That has real potential. The villains’ lair could be an abandoned subway station converted into a lab. Their Mr. Big figure, a giant alien cyclops with mind control abilities, could easily be situated in a dark tunnel. It’s just a thought.

 At the same time, there’s fun to be had with the mix of genres. In one scene, an attempt is made of Stella’s life while she’s taking a shower. An unseen baddie sneaks into her hotel room and locks her in the bathroom with an alien egg ready to hatch. She tries everything at her disposal to get out to no avail. Tony and Hubbard don’t immediately realize she’s in trouble. They think the DO NOT DISTURB sign on her door means she’s taking a nap. Even though you know they’ll save her in the nick of time, there’s still a fair amount of suspense.

 If acting means delivering dopey dialogue with a straight face, Contamination gets an A for it. Like a lot of cheaply made Italian horror movies, it’s poorly dubbed. Eh, it’s part of the ride, just go with it. The pacing is a little off in terms of consistency. This mainly applies to the middle section. The movie has some great gory effects although I would have liked to see more gut explosions. The animatronic alien cyclops is particularly well done. The score by Goblin truly enhances the experience. It has a sufficiently bleak final shot, that’s always cool.

 Overall, I like Contamination originally titled Alien Arrives on Earth by Cozzi/Coates. I wish it was more sci-fi than spy-fi but this is to be expected from Italian exploitation. It doesn’t always deliver what the poster promises but it’s usually strangely entertaining. It’s best just to go along for the ride and not protest. You’ll have more fun that way.