Lightning Jack (1994) Savoy/Comedy-Western RT: 98 minutes Rated PG-13 (sexual content, language) Director: Simon Wincer Screenplay: Paul Hogan Music: Bruce Rowland Cinematography: David Eggby Release date: March 11, 1994 (US) Cast: Paul Hogan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Beverly D’Angelo, Kamala Dawson, Pat Hingle, L.Q. Jones, Richard Riehle, Frank McRae, Roger Daltrey, Max Cullen, Sandy Ward. Box Office: $16.8M (US)
Rating: **
Or you could just call it Crocodile Dundee Goes West. That’s what Lightning Jack felt like to me. Although it has the trappings of a traditional western, it’s really little more than Paul Hogan taking his act on the road again. He’s a likable guy, but it’s not enough to save this limp oater from drowning in a quagmire of mediocrity.
Hogan plays the title character, a wannabe outlaw on his own after the rest of his gang (the Younger Gang) is killed in an attempted bank robbery in Junction City. To make matters worse, the papers downplay his role in the gang. Offended by the lack of recognition for his criminal efforts, Jack decides to pull a solo job only to mess it up royally. With guns pointed at him, Jack takes a hostage, a mute young black man named Ben (Gooding, Boyz n the Hood). Like Jack, Ben doesn’t get any respect. The townspeople treat him in a condescending manner due to his disability. He decides he wants to join Jack on his journey to criminal infamy. Obviously, neither one of them are competent criminals. Ben shoots himself in the foot during their first botched robbery.
The guys, who become good friends along the dusty trail, make their way to a saloon where his sort-of girlfriend, showgirl Lana (D’Angelo, National Lampoon’s Vacation), has been waiting a long time for his return. He’s been promising to take her to New York for ten years. He intends to keep that promise after he successfully pulls off one last big job. While there, he takes it on himself to see that Ben loses his virginity and becomes a man. Lana sets him up with Pilar (Dawson, Born in East L.A.) who inquires “Is there any other part of you that doesn’t work properly?” after learning he’s mute. It’s one of the few chuckles to be found in Lightning Jack.
I really hate coming down on Lightning Jack like this because I really do like Hogan and his easy-going personality. Unfortunately, that’s a big part of the problem here. Westerns aren’t supposed to be affable not even when they’re comedies. Do you think Blazing Saddles would have been as popular without its stinging humor? HELL, NO! Lightning Jack may be an outlaw, but he’s no desperado. He’s as harmless as criminals come. He’s not in the crime biz for the thrill of the kill; he just wants the publicity that comes with it. He wants to be somebody, somebody with a huge bounty on his head. It’s possible this could have been mined for laughs, but Hogan’s pleasant demeanor elicits only chuckles and even those are seldom.
Gooding fares a wee bit better as the mute who’s smarter than everybody gives him credit for. In a town filled with illiterates, he’s one of the few who can read or write. As such, telling off some arrogant, patronizing jerk in a note is as pointless a gesture as shaking your fist at the tornado that just blew your trailer into the next state. To his credit, Gooding avoids turning his character into a Stepin Fetchit stereotype. This could easily happen under the guidance of a filmmaker going for cheap laughs. Thankfully, Simon Wincer (Free Willy) isn’t going for anything like that which leads me to ask exactly what he was going for with this weak comedy. D’Angelo is okay as the saloon girl with a heart of gold, but I’m wondering why Hogan’s then-wife Linda Kozlowski didn’t play the role. She co-starred in all his other movies up to that point. What happened here? Did she realize something her hubby didn’t?
The best thing about Lightning Jack is the parade of familiar faces that show up throughout. The list includes Pat Hingle (Hang ‘Em High), L.Q. Jones (The Wild Bunch), Richard Riehle (Fried Green Tomatoes), Frank McRae (48 Hrs.) and The Who’s Roger Daltrey. The rest of it is strictly so-so. What’s really a shame is that it’s completely self-funded through stock Hogan sold to interested investors. Maybe he should have paid a little more attention to the lame script.
Because it has a few half-hearted chuckles, Lightning Jack can’t be dismissed as unfunny. At least that would be something. What we’re dealing with here is a comedy that’s afraid to be anything but nice lest somebody should be offended. It just meanders for 98 minutes and ends without leaving so much as a faint impression on the screen or the audience’s collective memory. It rides off into the sunset before the dust has a chance to settle.
