Machete (2010) 20th Century Fox/Action RT: 105 minutes Rated R (strong bloody violence throughout, language, sexual content, nudity, drug references) Director: Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis Screenplay: Robert Rodriguez and Alvaro Rodriguez Music: Chingon Cinematography: Jimmy Lindsey Release date: September 3, 2010 (US) Cast: Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Michelle Rodriguez, Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, Shea Whigham, Lindsay Lohan, Daryl Sabara, Tom Savini, Gilbert Trejo, Ara Celi, Billy Blair, Felix Sabates, Electra and Elise Avellan, Marci Madison, Vic Trevino, Mayra Leal, Cheryl “Chin” Cunningham. Box Office: $26.5M (US)/$45.4M (World)
Rating: ****
In 2007, directors Robert Rodriguez (Desperado) and Quentin Tarantino (Pulp Fiction) collaborated on Grindhouse, one of the coolest movie ideas EVER! They each made a movie- Planet Terror and Death Proof respectively- and released them as a double feature. It’s a tribute to the 70s exploitation movies, that typically played on double bills at grindhouse theaters. It also includes bogus previews of coming attractions with cool titles like Werewolf Women of the SS, Don’t, Thanksgiving and Machete. Rodriguez decided to expand that last one into a feature-length film. The result is nothing less than a flash of genius. It’s GREAT!
Danny Trejo (Spy Kids 1-4) plays the title character, an ex-Federale making a living as a day laborer in Texas after vicious drug lord Torrez (Seagal, Out for Justice) kills his family and leaves him for dead. He’s offered a job by shady spin doctor Booth (Fahey, Planet Terror) who wants him to assassinate corrupt senator McLaughlin (De Niro, Taxi Driver), a racist in favor of building a wall along the US-Mexico border to curb illegal immigration. He gives him $150,000 and a high-powered rifle. Naturally, it’s a set-up. He tries to have Machete killed instead. His guys fail. BIG MISTAKE! Now he has to contend with the dangerous ex-cop coming for him and anybody connected to the conspiracy.
Thankfully, Machete has a few people in his corner. One is Luz (Rodriguez, The Fast and the Furious), a taco truck owner who runs an outfit called “The Network” that renders aid to illegal immigrants. He also gets an assist from Sartana Rivera (Alba, Sin City), an ICE agent who has a change of heart after learning of the conspiracy to stop illegal immigration.
Machete benefits greatly from a wildly eclectic cast that includes Cheech Marin (Desperado) as Machete’s estranged brother, a priest who wields guns as effortlessly as rosary beads. He gets off one of the best lines when he tells his brother, “”I absolve you of all your sins. Now, get the f*** out.” Don Johnson (Miami Vice) is “introduced” as Von Jackson, the leader of a vigilante squad that patrols the border and kills anybody who dares cross it, telling them they have no right trespassing on the land of his ancestors. Makeup artist Tom Savini, a Rodriguez regular, shows up as a hitman who advertises his services replete with 1-800 number. Lindsay Lohan (I Know Who Killed Me) goes topless as Booth’s slutty daughter. BTW, the actress playing Torres’ main henchwoman is NOT Devon Aoki (Sin City); it’s Cheryl “Chin” Cunningham. It’s shocking how closely the two actresses resemble each other.
Machete is more than a violent revenge actioner; it’s a tongue-in-cheek homage to the endless stream of similar movies that permeated grungy movie houses in the 70s and 80s. It doesn’t take itself seriously, not even for a minute. It’s a lot of fun! It features a lot of bloody action and a body count just short of 100. As I’m sure you’ve heard, Machete is super-violent. The blood flows freely in this one. People, mostly bad ones, are shot, stabbed, sliced, decapitated and impaled. My favorite scene is when Machete cuts a man’s stomach open and uses his intestine as a rope to swing from one floor to another in a hospital building. Rodriguez and co-director Ethan Maniquis (editor of Planet Terror) perfectly recreate the look and feel of an old school exploitation movie with gratuitous nudity and graphic violence and right on down to the scratchy film stock.
Trejo does a good imitation of Charles Bronson as he strides through Machete with a stone-cold expression, delivering lines like “Machete don’t text.” with total conviction. The rest of the cast is game too. Seagal, the greatest non-actor of our time, plays against type to great success. Well, maybe not great, but it’s a success to some degree. Alba is freaking HOT in a kick-ass sort of way. Rodriguez also kicks ass as the female version of Che Guevara. De Niro hams it up mightily as the racist politician. Who knew the New York-born actor could do such a convincing Texas accent?
Machete made my top 10 list in 2010. I still stand by that ranking. It’s AWESOME! Rodriguez knows the source material well. The carnage is so OTT, you can’t help but laugh. When you get right down to it, the whole movie is OTT. How else would you describe a movie where the hero rides a motorcycle fitted with a machine gun? It’s obvious to everybody involved and everybody watching that Machete is a total goof, a cinematic wink at the audience if you will. I say it’s brilliant.
