Meet the Feebles (1989)    Dead Alive Productions/Comedy-Musical    RT: 97 minutes    No MPAA rating (strong sexual content, violence, language, drug use, gross humor- all involving puppets)    Director: Peter Jackson    Screenplay: Peter Jackson, Danny Mulheron, Fran Walsh and Stephen Sinclair    Music: Peter Dasent    Cinematography: Murray Milne    Release date: October 1995 (Philadelphia, PA)    Cast: Danny Mulheron, Donna Akersten, Stuart Devenie, Mark Hadlow, Ross Jolly, Brian Sergent, Peter Vere-Jones, Mark Wright.    Box Office: $80,000 (NZ)

Rating: *** ½

WARNING: Although populated entirely by puppet characters, Meet the Feebles is NOT a film for children. It contains material that goes way beyond the bounds of bad taste. Keep the little ones far, FAR away from it!

 Meet the Feebles is one seriously depraved movie. It’s the second movie from New Zealand filmmaker Peter Jackson (the future LOTR director) and part two of his “Trash Trilogy” between Bad Taste and Dead Alive. If you ever wanted to see a hard R-rated version of The Muppet Show, this is it. The titular puppet characters in this comedic gross-out fest do it all; they swear, have sex, give bjs, get drunk, shoot and snort drugs, make porno movies, produce all manners of bodily fluids, contract deadly STDs, roofie and rape unsuspecting females and go on violent killing sprees. It’s enough to make Kermit turn a different shade of green.

 The “drama” takes place backstage at a musical variety show called “The Fabulous Feebles Variety Hour” just hours before showtime. Tonight’s especially important; the show has a shot at being picked up for syndication if all goes well.  Naturally, that won’t be the case. All hell breaking loose is the more likely scenario on this important night.

 The show’s star is Heidi the hippo, a grossly overweight diva prone to tantrums, meltdowns and eating binges. She’s having an affair with her boss, Bletch the walrus who has a side thing going with Samantha the cat. He also makes XXX puppet porn with the show’s director Trevor the rat, a heroin dealer who sounds like Peter Lorre. Knife thrower Wynyard the frog is a full-fledged addict dealing with flashbacks to Vietnam. Second-billed star Harry the hare learns he has an incurable STD and only 12 hours to live. Bottom-feeding tabloid reporter FW the fly intends to break the story to the public. Sebastian the elephant gets blindsided by a paternity suit from his ex-girlfriend Sandy the chicken who shows up with their baby.

 In the midst of all the madness, romance blooms between new cast member Robert the hedgehog and chorus girl Lucille the poodle. He’s smitten the minute he sees her and tries to muster the courage to ask her out. They fall in love and become engaged within minutes only to have their relationship fall apart due to a colossal misunderstanding involving Trevor’s efforts to make her his next porn star. Meanwhile, Heidi starts to unravel mentally when she catches Bletch and Samantha in a compromising position.

 Although made in 1989, Meet the Feebles didn’t make it to American cinemas until fall ’95. By this point, Peter Jackson’s name was known to respectable moviegoers for his brilliant true crime drama Heavenly Creatures and to unrespectable moviegoers for the low-budget horror-comedies Bad Taste and Dead Alive. If all of these movies have one thing in common, it’s that Jackson’s warped sensibility is on full display be it a bloody lawnmower massacre or two schoolgirls living in an elaborate fantasy world of their own making. Meet the Feebles takes it to a whole new level, one higher than over the top. Jackson shows us things we never thought we’d see even in our wildest imagination- e.g. a hippo getting oral sex from a cat. Jackson even manages to work in a few musical numbers including a particularly catchy one about sodomy.

 Meet the Feebles is as gross as it is funny. You do NOT want to eat while watching it unless you find the sight of a pus-covered bunny appetizing. Same goes for the scene where the fly eats fecal matter in a filthy toilet. This movie is extremely graphic; nothing is held back and no subject is off limits. It gets nuttier and more disgusting as it goes on culminating in a workplace massacre where characters literally get the stuffing blown out of them. The humor is often caustic and always outrageous. If you ever wanted to see the Russian roulette scene from The Deer Hunter reenacted by puppets, look no further.

 On a technical level, Meet the Feebles is exceptionally well made for a low-budget comedy destined NOT to go mainstream. The puppetry is (almost) right up there with the Hensons. There’s not a single human being on hand, not even celebrity cameos unless you count the Bad Taste alien in the audience at the live show. Obviously, Meet the Feebles isn’t for everybody. I’d even say it’s not for most people especially those with weak stomachs or strong moral codes. It’s what I call a sick masterpiece. It’s the very definition of cult film and I’m proud to be a member.

Copyright HAG ©2009

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