My Spy (2020) STX/Action-Comedy RT: 99 minutes Rated PG-13 (action violence, language) Director: Peter Segal Screenplay: Jon and Erich Hoeber Music: Dominic Lewis Cinematography: Larry Blanford Release date: April 17, 2020 (US) Cast: Dave Bautista, Chloe Coleman, Kristen Schaal, Parisa Fitz-Henley, Ken Jeong, Greg Bryk, Nicola Correia-Damude, Devere Rogers, Noah Danby, Olivia Depatie, Keller Viaene. Box Office: N/A (went straight to streaming due to COVID)
Rating: ***
Thanks to COVID-19, the movie schedule is devoid of new releases for the foreseeable future. It doesn’t really matter since all US theaters are closed until further notice anyway. Thankfully, a few of the titles originally slated to open in the coming weeks will make their debut on digital platforms instead. This is how I came to see My Spy, an action-comedy that’s been bouncing around on the calendar since last summer. That’s never a good sign. I wasn’t sure it would ever come out, but here we are. Although formulaic, this tough guy-meets-cute kid comedy is entertaining and enjoyable.
Former pro-wrestler Dave Bautista, better known these days as Drax the Destroyer in the Guardians of the Galaxy movies, plays JJ, a CIA operative better at creating mayhem than gathering intelligence. When his latest mission ends in a massacre, he’s sent to Chicago to conduct surveillance on single mom Kate (Henley, Fantasy Island) and her nine-year-old daughter Sophie (Coleman, Big Little Lies) on the off-chance they’re contacted by the kid’s uncle, international terrorist Marquez (Bryk, TV’s Frontier). He’s after that reliable, time-honored plot device, the McGuffin. It doesn’t really matter what it is; all that’s important is that it’s dangerous in the wrong hands.
Like many a movie tough guy before him, JJ is a lone wolf. He prefers to work alone so he doesn’t have to get close to anybody. That’s been a problem since something bad happened to him while he was in Special Forces. He makes it clear to Bobbi (Schaal, Bob’s Burgers), the mousy tech assigned to work with him, he doesn’t consider her his partner. Sophie, who lived in France until her father died (at her uncle’s hands), is also a loner, but not by choice. The other kids in her fourth grade class, a group of girls in particular, bully her. She has no friends and her mom works a lot; consequently, she’s on her own most of the time. That’s when she figures out she’s being watched.
JJ is about to face his toughest assignment yet, dealing with the nine-year-old girl threatening to blow his cover unless he (1) acts as surrogate dad and (2) teaches her the tricks of the spy trade. The former involves taking her ice skating and attending “Parents and Special Friends Day” at her school. The latter entails JJ teaching Sophie skills like lie detection, gaining entry to strangers’ apartments and walking away from an explosion without looking back. Of course, the kid turns out to be a natural at the spy game. Along the way, the two lonely souls begin to bond.
You may have noticed that My Spy is markedly similar to Kindergarten Cop, the quintessential tough guy/cute kid comedy starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and a lot of cute kids. It worked because Ah-nuld playing it straight in a comedy is funnier than a comedic actor like Eddie Murphy would be playing the same role for laughs. HOWEVER, for every success like Schwarzenegger, there’s a failure like Hulk Hogan in the horrific Mr. Nanny. So how does Bautista rate? You know what, he’s a pretty funny guy when he plays it straight. Whether he’s shaking kids out of a tree during a game of hide and seek or quoting Notting Hill to a bad guy before unleashing hell, he keeps it fun without going all jokey. He has a good foil in Coleman playing a smart kid with a better handle on… well, a number of things. While he teaches her to be a spy, she teaches JJ to be human. Coleman is a little charmer with personality and attitude to spare. This role is perfect for her. Director Peter Segal (Tommy Boy) gives her plenty to do including playing matchmaker to JJ and her mother. Like many things in My Spy, it plays out in predictable fashion.
Schaal has a few good scenes as Bobbi, the level-headed half of the (non)partnership who keeps warning JJ about crossing lines and not getting in any deeper with the family they’re supposed to be watching. She gets off a real zinger in one scene when observing JJ hitting the dance floor with Kate on their first date. She comments that it looks like the wedding at the end of Shrek while she looks on in horror.
The good news is that My Spy is funny (mostly) even if it never strays from formula. Segal focuses more on the tough guy/cute kid story than the generic action plot with the usual fights, chases and explosions. Of course, the bad guy kidnaps Sophie in the climax and JJ must ride to the rescue. We’ve seen it all before and we’ll see it all again. As for the here and now, My Spy makes it all work. It helps a lot that Bautista and Coleman have great chemistry; they make a winning pair. Sure, not every joke lands like the one about the dropped gun firing wildly as it tumbles down a set of stairs. I could have done without the vomit gag too. But at least Segal doesn’t resort to cheap laughs about the implications of hidden cameras in the bedroom and bathroom of a tween girl.
I can’t speak to how My Spy would have done at the box office if not for the COVID-19 crisis. It was marketed as a family movie even though it’s rated PG-13 (for language and action-style violence). To be honest, it’s really no worse than some of the PG movies from back in the day especially the ones predating the PG-13 rating. It’s rather harmless actually. It’s also fun. It’s ideal viewing for the scary times we’re living in right now. Perhaps laughter is indeed the best medicine.
