Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) Netflix/Horror RT: 83 minutes Rated R (strong bloody horror violence and gore, language) Director: David Blue Garcia Screenplay: Chris Thomas Devlin Music: Colin Stetson Cinematography: Ricardo Diaz Release date: February 18, 2022 (US, Netflix) Cast: Sarah Yarkin, Elsie Fisher, Mark Burnham, Jacob Latimore, Moe Dunford, Olwen Fouere, Jessica Allain, Nell Hudson, Alice Krige, William Hope, Jolyon Coy, Sam Douglas, John Larroquette (narrator). Box Office: N/A
Rating: **
It was bound to happen and now it finally has. Just like the original Halloween begat a whole slew of inferior imitators, the 2018 retcon sequel (let’s call it H40) has inspired others to do the same with other popular horror franchises. Godzilla help us!
The first one out of the gate is Texas Chainsaw Massacre which chronicles the latest killing spree by Leatherface, the hulking psycho from the Lone Star State we first met in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre nearly 50 years ago. You either know him or know about him. He has an affinity for carving up his victims with the titular power tool. Although it’s technically the ninth entry in the series, it’s a direct follow-up to the 1974 original meaning the events of the other sequels never happened. Delete them from your memory and prepare to reboot.
Similar to H40, Texas Chainsaw Massacre features the return of the sole survivor of the original slaughter. In this case, it’s Sally Hardesty who’s now being played by Olwen Fouere (Mandy) due to OG actress Marilyn Burns’ death in 2014. In turns out she never left Texas. She’s still around, waiting for the day when her old tormentor shows his ugly face again. When he does, she will kill him. She wants revenge for her friends and for herself.
HOWEVER, this is NOT the main focus of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. She should be the main character, but the makers have other ideas. It’s essentially a do-over of the OG in that it centers on a group of out-of-town young folks being somewhere they don’t belong. Back in the early 70s, they were called hippies. Now we call them millennials. It doesn’t really matter what you call them. By any name, they’re dead meat.
The leaders of this new group of unwelcome visitors are entrepreneurs Melody (Yarkin, Happy Death Day 2 U) and Dante (Latimore, The Chi) along with her little sister Lila (Fisher, Eighth Grade) and his girlfriend Ruth (Hudson, Outlander). They’ve just bought the small, seemingly abandoned town of Harlow with the intention of gentrifying the place. A group of potential investors are right behind them on a party bus. Yeah, this is one party that will not end well.
The trouble begins when the gang learns that one elderly resident (Krige, Star Trek: First Contact) hasn’t vacated her home, a dilapidated orphanage that also houses a rather imposing man. That, of course, would be our pal Leatherface (now played by Mark Burnham) who doesn’t take kindly to strangers trying to oust his caretaker from her home. She ultimately suffers a heart attack and dies en route to the hospital. This enrages him enough to embark on another rampage compete with a new mask made of human skin.
Directed by David Blue Garcia (Tejano), Texas Chainsaw Massacre shows all the signs of a movie that’s been through production hell and back. To put it bluntly, it’s a mess. Many great ideas are brought up only to be dropped almost right away. For instance, when the gang first arrives, they discover that Leatherface is something of a local legend. The roadside gas station they stop at sells merchandise like T-shirts and corkscrews with little chainsaws attached. Something cleverly fun could have been done with this, but it falls to the wayside along with the other ideas that go undeveloped. A quick peek at IMDB reveals that Garcia wasn’t the producer’s first choice for director. He replaced the original directing team of Ryan and Andy Tohill (The Dig) and immediately reshot everything. It seems like the script might have undergone some rewriting during production too. It has that half-assed feel. Disastrous test screenings led to the cancellation of a theatrical release and its subsequent sale to Netflix.
It’s human nature to compare sequels to the original even though they’ll almost always fall short in some way. Texas Chainsaw Massacre is no exception. Since the makers have effectively cancelled the sequels, I’ll limit any and all comparisons to Tobe Hooper’s claustrophobic classic. That’s precisely the main problem with the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The original was thick with atmosphere. You could practically feel the sweltering heat and smell the odor of blood, bone and flesh. You felt trapped in that freaky house along with the terrified Sally. Being out in the middle of nowhere only made the feeling of being trapped worse. It was a very visceral horror movie. I didn’t get that from this Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It feels disappointingly generic. It’s also not scary. I didn’t jump out of my seat once. Hell, it wasn’t even filmed in Texas; it was shot in Bulgaria on a set. It just doesn’t have the same effect.
To its credit, Texas Chainsaw Massacre doesn’t skimp on the gore. What was only implied in the OG is shown in graphic (CGI) detail here. A head is smashed open with a hammer. Somebody is stabbed with his own broken wrist bone. Naturally, there’s plenty of bloody chainsaw action here. Victims are slit open, slashed, dismembered, cut in half and decapitated. It has the most carnage of all the TCM movies. The scene on the bus is one for the books. Not only is it a total bloodbath, it contains a line of dialogue that says it all about millennial mentality. When Leatherface crashes their party, a guy wielding a smart phone says, “Try anything and you’re cancelled, bro!” Ten bucks says the guy holding the chainsaw does the cancelling, bro.
The acting is okay when you take into consideration the characters are one-dimensional and not especially likable. In the case of the girlfriend Ruth, she’s not around long enough to even bother learning her name. The only one of the youngsters I gave a damn about was Lila, the survivor of a school shooting who resents her big sister’s overprotectiveness. Fisher is a fine young actress who makes the most of the substandard material. Moe Dunford of Vikings is also on hand as Richter, a stereotypical Texan who loves guns, pickup trucks and distrusting strangers. He’s okay, but I never got a clear read on his character. Is he a friend or foe? It’s hard to tell.
Fouere does a pretty good job as Sally despite her character arc being as half-assed as the rest of the movie. I really wish the makers had done more with her and her story. What exactly has she been doing for nearly half a century other than waiting for Leatherface? Has her desire for vengeance consumed her life? The screenplay by Chris Thomas Devlin doesn’t elaborate.
Here’s the deal. I didn’t hate Texas Chainsaw Massacre or even dislike it. I don’t love it either. I think it could have been better with a lot more plot and character development. Let us get to know the characters better. It wouldn’t even have to be a full profile, just more to go on. I loved the amount of carnage, but it’s no reason to sacrifice atmospheric authenticity. I like the little nods to the OG like the name of the county in which the action takes place. Pay attention to the population count on the sign at the edge of town. John Larroquette returns to do the opening narration like he did in the OG. Oh, stay on your toes and you might catch a side reference to another horror franchise. It’s touches like these that save Texas Chainsaw Massacre from complete failure. It’s okay, but hardly effective.
