Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994) New Line/Horror RT: 86 minutes Rated R (violence, torture, depraved behavior, disturbing images, language) Director: Kim Henkel Screenplay: Kim Henkel Music: Wayne Bell Cinematography: Levie Isaacks Release date: August 29, 1997 (US) Starring: Renee Zellweger, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Jacks, Tonie Perensky, Joe Stevens, Lisa Newmyer, Tyler Shea Cone, John Harrison, James Gale, Grayson Victor Schirmacher. Box Office: $185,898 (US)
Rating: *
The only thing that saves Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation from a “NO STARS!!!” rating is a delightfully demented performance from Matthew McConaughey. They can keep the rest of this awful movie.
Originally titled The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, it was completed in ’94, but didn’t see the inside of movie theaters until late summer ’97. By this time, both McConaughey and Renee Zellweger had become big stars and the producers saw an opportunity to separate moviegoers from their hard-earned money. They needn’t have bothered since very few people took the bait.
I have a memory for this sort of thing as everybody knows by now and I know that TCM4 (as I like to call it) didn’t open in any theaters in the Philadelphia area. I would have been one of the poor dumb bastards who paid to see it. I admit it, I’m a sucker when it comes to horror movie sequels. As long as the studios keep churning them out, I’ll go to see them.
I saw it when it hit home video; I stayed up late one night to watch it. It totally wasn’t worth being tired at work the next day. This movie sucks hard! Not only does it lack any memorably gory scenes, it also throws in a subplot so ludicrous it has to be seen to be believed. This is NOT an endorsement of TCM4! I do NOT recommend seeing it under any circumstances! By nature, this type of flick is usually stupid and pointless, but with the aforementioned subplot it attains a level of stupidity that very few movies have achieved. This is in addition to the super-annoying, one-dimensional characters and horrible dialogue. I know I shouldn’t apply the traditional principles of film criticism to a movie like this, but I feel obligated to point them out in this instance. It’s that kind of movie.
As if it even matters, here now is the “plot” of TCM4. I use the term very loosely since I didn’t notice any perceivable storyline. I’m still on the fence as to whether I should reveal the ridiculous subplot; I suppose that I should as a service to mankind. More about that in a moment.
The movie opens with four insipid teenagers at their senior prom. They’re so annoying I wanted them dead seven minutes into the movie. Nerdy Jenny (Zellweger, Jerry Maguire) attends the prom with her boyfriend Sean (Harrison) and bickering couple Barry (Cone) and Heather (Newmyer). She’s pissed off because she caught him making out with his ex-girlfriend. She angrily drives off in his car with Jenny and Sean in the backseat. He manages to jump in and they head out towards some unknown destination. They end up getting into an accident approximately two minutes after Heather expresses a desire to get into a car wreck. This leads to a particularly stupid line where Barry says, upon inspecting the damage to his vehicle, “I’m dead. Somebody kill me please!” Can we say “redundancy”?
The driver of the other car falls down unconscious and Sean stays behind with him while the others go looking for help. At this point, Jenny removes her heels. Foot fetishists will appreciate that she spends the rest of the movie barefoot. They come across an insurance office where the lone agent Darla (Perensky) calls for a tow truck. Let me remind you of the rule stating that everybody horror movie characters encounter in a remote area are inevitably related to each other. The tow truck is driven by her husband Vilmer (McConaughey, A Time to Kill) and he’s a real loony tune. He kills the other driver and goes after Sean, prompting the boy to plead, “Please mister, you’re scaring me.” Yeah, that always works.
Meanwhile, Barry and Heather get separated from Jenny and come across a house occupied by …. you guessed it! They encounter our old friend Leatherface (Jacks) and the nightmare really begins. There are no surprises here; you know exactly what’s going to happen next. Virginal Jenny will eventually be their “guest of honor” at dinner.
Now, here comes that subplot. It turns out that Vilmer works for a super-secret government agency and the murders are all part of a bigger plan. The whole situation is intended to be a “spiritual experience”. Huh? We get only a vague explanation of this, but we don’t need to know very much to figure out that it’s completely moronic. Then there’s the deus ex machina in the final scene, but who wants to get into that?
TCM4 is really, really bad on every single level. It’s so bad that it doesn’t even qualify as camp. I can’t believe the studio even released it. Did anybody even inspect the final product before it hit theaters? Whatever happened to quality control? This movie would have likely faded into obscurity if not for the presence of the two major actors. I’m sure they both leave this movie off their resumes on purpose for much the same reason that Angelina Jolie omits any mention of her role in Cyborg 2. It’s a complete embarrassment for all involved. I can’t believe that Kim Henkel, one of the original’s co-writers, is responsible for this.
The only saving grace (still no reason to watch it!) is McConaughey. I don’t know what it is about that guy, but he brings something cool to even the worst roles. He gets to go full-on freak show in this movie. I wish it were enough to save TCM4, but it’s not. It doesn’t even come close to making this travesty watchable.
The other performances don’t even matter; they are terrible across the board. I didn’t even like the guy playing Leatherface in this movie. That brings up another problem with the movie. For something with the word “chainsaw” in the tile, there’s a curious lack of chainsaw-inflicted violence. It’s not even that gory. It’s violent and nasty, but there’s nothing to satisfy even the most undemanding gorehounds. The term “waste of time” comes to mind. So does “waste of film”. It’s the cinematic equivalent of solid waste. It’s possible that TCM4 would have worked if the filmmakers had added more gory violence.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot, Grandpa (Schirmacher) makes his fourth appearance in as many movies and I have to wonder just how old is this geezer? In the first movie, he’s supposedly 137 years old. Surely he must have earned himself a place in the Guiness Book of World Records by now. You would think that the writer would have addressed this at some point. I’m just saying. Either way, none of TCM4 makes any sense. We can only hold out hope that Henkel will clear things up in a better future sequel. I’m not holding my breath though.
