The Snowman (2017) Universal/Suspense-Thriller RT: 119 minutes Rated R (grisly images, violence, some language, sexuality, brief nudity) Director: Tomas Alfredson Screenplay: Hossein Amini, Peter Straughan and Soren Sveistrup Music: Marco Beltrami Cinematography: Dion Beebe Release date: October 20, 2017 (US) Cast: Michael Fassbender, Rebecca Ferguson, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Jonas Karlsson, Michael Yates, Val Kilmer, J.K. Simmons, Toby Jones, David Dencik, Ronan Vibert, Chloe Sevigny, Genevieve O’Reilly, James D’Arcy, Jete Laurence. Box Office: $6.7M (US)/$43.1M (World)
Rating: *
The biggest mystery about The Snowman is how a movie with so much talent attached can turn out as badly as it does. It boggles the mind. It’s ostensibly about the hunt for a serial killer who, from what I can gather, has been active for several years. The reality is that The Snowman is a convoluted, lead-footed mess with more red herrings than a fish market. It moves at roughly the same pace as a postman delivering the mail in a foot of snow. You can’t even play the whodunit game because the identity of killer is fairly obvious from his or her first scene. The movie makes such a show of introducing several viable suspects that it ends up pointing right at the guilty party whose motive is ripped from the pages of a dime-store psychology handbook.
The Snowman is wrong-headed from the word go. Set in Norway, it starts with a flashback scene of a young boy and his single mother in an abusive domestic situation that ends with the boy being orphaned. The scene then cuts to present day where we find police detective Harry Hole (Fassbender, Steve Jobs) waking up in a frozen bus station after a night of drinking. Given how this is edited, the viewer can infer that the boy grew up to be the movie’s protagonist. The movie lets us think that for a while before letting us in on the truth. In turn, it begs the question of how the killer gained enough insight into Harry to be able to screw with him like he/she does.
Harry is supposed to be some sort of genius cop, but all I see is a drunken mess of a man who can’t even be trusted to drive a car. He’s probably the last person who should be on the case of an elusive serial killer who leaves evil-looking snowmen at the scenes of his/her crimes. Nicknamed “The Snowman”, this person has been at it for some time as evidenced by flashbacks featuring an unrecognizable Val Kilmer as a cop who tried and failed to nab the killer nearly a decade earlier. Harry latches on to the female cop, Katrine Bratt (Ferguson, Mission: Impossible- Rogue Nation), assigned to investigate the latest Snowman murders. Typically, victims are decapitated and their heads replaced with snowman heads. Their investigation takes them down several roads leading to nowhere.
Harry’s personal life isn’t much better than his professional one. He’s on civil terms with his ex-girlfriend Rakel (Gainsbourg, Antichrist) with whom he shares a teenage son Oleg (Yates). He’s not what you call a reliable dad. He’s not even a credible one. When he lectures Oleg about drinking, the boy calls him out as a hypocrite. At least his ex’s current beau is understanding and even helpful, pulling his ass out of the fire in one scene.
Again, how does so much talent on both sides of the camera yield so little? There’s plenty of talent on hand in The Snowman. It’s directed by Swedish filmmaker Tomas Alfredson whose credits include the excellent Let the Right One In (2008) and the ambitious Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011). Between them, the writers have delivered solid screenplays for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (Straughan), Frank (Straughan), Drive (Amini) and the Danish version of the TV series The Killing (Sveistrup). In addition to those already mentioned, the cast also includes Oscar winner J.K. Simmons (Whiplash), Toby Jones (Infamous) and Chloe Sevigny (Boys Don’t Cry). Frequent Martin Scorsese (attached as director in the movie’s early stages) collaborator Thelma Schoonmaker is an editor. Marco Beltrami (Logan) composed the score. So what went wrong? Alfredson claims he wasn’t given enough time to put together a proper film. He says that 10-15% of the screenplay wasn’t even filmed which led to the movie’s narrative issues. That’s actually an explanation I can believe, but it’s still doesn’t excuse The Snowman for being so piss-poor.
Before I commence slamming The Snowman, I’d like to tell you about a conversation I had with the theater manager. He saw it too and described it as “European”. My reply, “American, European or Martian, it just sucks!” And does it ever. It’s bad for many reasons. It makes no sense at all. Plot elements are introduced only to be dropped. For example, a shocking revelation about Chloe Sevigny’s “character” is made and NEVER referred to again. She’s only in it for about five minutes anyway. Simmons plays some important businessman with odd sexual proclivities that are never fully explained. SPOILER ALERT! It’s also a dead end. I’m not even sure why he’s in the movie. Did his character play a bigger role in the book? The central mystery is handled very poorly. There’s zero suspense. I lost all interest in the picture long before the midway point which felt like it took an eternity to reach which makes The Snowman seem to last two eternities.
Fassbender has been in several bad movies as of late- e.g. The Light Between Oceans, Song to Song and Assassin’s Creed. The Snowman isn’t his worst (that’s Assassin’s Creed), but it’s down there with the dregs. He appears adrift in a movie that never feels anchored. It would have been nice to get a better sense of his character. What led to him becoming an alcoholic who frequently passes out in public? It isn’t a very big town so how does he have any credibility with the civilians he’s supposed to be protecting? Surely they all know about his drinking. The only thing I can think of is that The Snowman is the seventh book focusing on Harry Hole (a terrible name, btw) and readers already know about his background.
In general, the acting in The Snowman is terrible. The only one that even attempts an accent is Simmons. What the hell happened to Kilmer? I heard he was ill not too long ago. Maybe it’s that. He’s approaching 60; it could be that. It could also be makeup; after all, his voice has been dubbed. Whatever the reason, this is NOT the same Val Kilmer we know from Real Genius, Top Gun and The Doors. Toby Jones is in it for maybe one scene and does nothing. I wonder if most of his performance ended up on a cutting room floor.
The screenplay is a mess; it completely lacks character development. The plot, such as it is, is put-together haphazardly. It’s often confusing and never interesting. The whole snowman angle is ridiculous. And what’s with the use of the 70s pop tune “Popcorn” (by Hot Butter). It’s so out of place here. Even the snowy landscapes do nothing to enhance the drama. The Snowman is just bleak and depressing. It wants to be Wind River in the worst way, but all it does is break wind instead. It wants to be Insomnia, but instead it provides a cure. It’s a cinematic lump of coal.
