A Christmas Story (1983) MGM/Comedy RT: 94 minutes Rated PG (language, bullying, a playground fight, some off-color humor) Director: Bob Clark Screenplay: Jean Shepherd, Leigh Brown and Bob Clark Music: Carl Zittrer and Paul Zaza Cinematography: Reginald H. Morris Release date: November 18, 1983 (US) Cast: Melinda Dillon, Darren McGavin, Peter Billingsley, Jean Shepherd (narrator), Scott Schwartz, Ian Petrella, R.D. Robb, Tedde Moore, Zack Ward, Yano Anaya, Jeff Gillen. Box Office: $19.2M (US)
Rating: ****
I can write my review of A Christmas Story without fear of dropping any spoilers. Like It’s a Wonderful Life and A Christmas Carol (pick your favorite version), it’s a holiday movie everybody’s seen a million times. How can anybody not have seen it? It’s been a Christmas mainstay since its initial release in November 1983. Its theatrical run was hardly impressive, but it took off once it hit video and cable. Now it’s a beloved classic. TNT runs it for 24 hours straight every year (Christmas Eve to Christmas night). It’s kind of hard to miss.
I have never met a single person who dislikes A Christmas Story. Only a real Grinch could hate this delightful film about a 9YO boy who wants only one thing for Christmas, a Red Ryder BB Gun “with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time.” Never mind the potential ocular damage it could cause.
A Christmas Story is based on the 1966 collection of short stories In God We Trust: All Others Pay Cash by Jean Shepherd who also narrates the film. It’s loosely based on his life and experiences as a child. It’s set sometime in the 40s in the small Indiana town of Hohman (a stand-in for Hammond) where Ralphie Parker (Billingsley) lives with family, Mother (Dillon, Slap Shot), The Old Man (McGavin, Kolchak: The Night Stalker) and pesky little brother Randy (Petrella). As the title indicates, it’s that special time of year, “lovely, glorious, beautiful Christmas, upon which the entire kid year revolved.”
Ralphie approaches the subject of the coveted BB gun at breakfast only to be rebuffed by his mother who counters with the ever-popular parental response, “you’ll shoot your eye out.” That’s only the beginning of the obstacles Ralphie encounters in his quest for “the Holy Grail of Christmas gifts”. His teacher Miss Shields (Moore, Second Wind) appears to side with his mother. When she grades his essay “What I Want for Christmas”, she adds a comment, “You’ll shoot your eye out!” Even Santa Claus himself is in on the conspiracy. Guess what he says when Ralphie asks him for the gun?
When he’s not obsessing over the BB gun, Ralphie hangs around with his two best buds, Flick (Schwartz, The Toy) and Schwartz (Robb, Matilda). He tries to stay out of trouble, but that’s not easy for any boy of nine. Early on, he stands by and watches as Schwartz triple dog dares Flick to stick his tongue to a frozen flagpole. When he does, the fire department shows up to help get it unstuck. I believe that falls into the naughty category.
As if Ralphie doesn’t have enough going on, he also has to worry about the two bullies, Scut Farkas (Ward, Freddy vs. Jason) and Grover Dill (Anaya, Better Off Dead), terrorizing him and his friends. They do things like chase them home from school and make them say “uncle” while twisting their arms behind their backs. You just know that a fight involving one kid roughing up the other will eventually break out.
A Christmas Story is one of those rare films where every scene is a good scene. Nothing is extraneous or superfluous. It’s all hilarious. Everybody has their favorite scene from the movie and every choice is a valid one. I too have my favorite moments. While helping his father change a flat tire, Ralphie blurts out “THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the ‘F-dash-dash-dash’ word!” in front of his shocked father. The audience hears him say “Ohhhh ffffuuudge!” in slow-mo. This slip of the tongue earns him a session with a bar of soap in his mouth. And who doesn’t love the gaudy leg lamp The Old Man wins in a contest? Mom, that’s who! She’s embarrassed to have it displayed prominently in the front window for the entire neighborhood to see. How she ultimately deals with the matter is hilarious. Then there’s Christmas dinner at a Chinese restaurant where the waiters serenade them (“Fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra!”) while they wait for their food. It might not be PC, but it’s hysterical.
One of the best, most brilliant aspects of A Christmas Story is Shepherd’s witty narration. It’s well written and well spoken. Adult Ralphie describes his dad’s colorful vocabulary by saying he “worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay” claiming he “wove a tapestry of obscenities that as far as we know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan.” People of a certain age (like me!) will recognize the type because so many of our fathers were exactly the same way when it came to their choice of words while engaging in any kind of home or auto maintenance. In my family, the Christmas season didn’t officially began until my father went outside to put up the lights. All the mothers on the block would call to their children to play inside for a while.
What’s really amazing about the narration, the choice of words in particular, is that Shepherd doesn’t talk down to the kids. Quite the opposite, he uses words like “bacchanalia” and “cornucopia” they probably don’t know. The more inquisitive kids will ask their parents what they mean. Hence, A Christmas Story serves as a PSA for increasing one’s vocabulary.
A Christmas Story depicts a time that has long since vanished, a more innocent time where kids actually had an imagination and believed in the magic that surrounds Christmas. Adult Ralphie looks back at his childhood with a sense of sentimentality and affection. The whole movie plays like a series of wonderful memories. Ralphie sitting in front of the radio with his brother listening to Little Orphan Annie. His excitement at finally receiving his Little Orphan Annie decoder ring in the mail; we all remember how it seemed to take forever to receive something we sent away for in the mail. Ralphie finally standing up to Scut Farkas. The Old Man haggling over the price of a Christmas tree with the lot’s proprietor. The annual visit to see Santa Claus at the town’s department store where most of the children are scared out of their minds. These are memories to be cherished which Shepherd clearly does.
One moment really stands out. It occurs in the first few minutes. Ralphie, his school chums and his little brother get off of a streetcar and cross a busy street to look at the window display at the town’s biggest department store. They do this at night, unaccompanied by adults. The idea of “Stranger Danger” was still an alien concept. Nobody even considered the idea of some pervert snatching their kids. Seeing the kids’ happy faces as they press their noses against the glass and look upon the magnificent display of toys is one of this movie’s many joys.
One of the most surprising things about A Christmas Story is that it’s directed by Bob Clark. Yes, I’m talking about the very same Bob Clark who directed the 1974 slasher movie Black Christmas and the first two Porky’s movies, those tributes to teenage perversion. For the record, Clark also directed critically reviled movies like Rhinestone (1984), Turk 182 (1985), From the Hip (1987), Loose Cannons (1990) and Baby Geniuses (1999). It’s hard to believe this same person gave the world a beloved Christmas classic that’s both heartwarming and hysterically funny.
Peter Billingsley, also known as Messy Marvin from the old Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup commercials, is dead-on perfect as Ralphie, the Everykid from the Midwest who sometimes reverts to a fantasy world where his Christmas essay gets the highest mark ever awarded (A+++++++…..) and parents are made to regret punishing their son after he goes blind from “soap poisoning”.
McGavin is terrific as the blustery and slightly goofy Old Man. He’s the typical well-meaning American dad who doesn’t always know what goes on while he’s at work. The look on his face when he sees Randy emerge from his hiding spot under the kitchen sink is priceless. Dillon is also great as Mother. She may sound like a drill sergeant at times, but she’s also a loving parent who really steps up when Ralphie needs her. Her reactions to various situations, like crying hysterically over the mutilated remains of the Christmas turkey after the neighbors’ dogs get to it, are dead-on perfect and LOL funny. Petrella hits the nail right on the head as Randy. Like all little brothers, he’s a pain in the derriere. He also always has his big brother’s back.
A Christmas Story gets everything right including the teacher Miss Shields. She’s the consummate grade school teacher, strict and all about business, but compassionate when one of her students gets his tongue stuck to a frozen flagpole. She chastises the class about it saying, “Now I know that some of you put Flick up to this, but he has refused to say who. But those who did it know their blame, and I’m sure that the guilt you feel is far worse than any punishment you might receive. Now, don’t you feel terrible? Don’t you feel remorse for what you have done? Well, that’s all I’m going to say about poor Flick.” Shepherd then chimes in with “Adults loved to say things like that but kids knew better. We knew darn well it was always better not to get caught.” He has a great handle on what it’s like to be a kid.
The cinematography is gorgeous. It has a fuzzy, hazy quality to it. The audience really gets the sense they’re watching a story that takes place in the fondly remembered past. The set design adds a strong sense of authenticity. This is what the family home looked like in the 40s. Sound plays a part too with the radio almost always playing in the background.
A Christmas Story is the most beautiful movie about childhood and Christmas I’ve ever seen. It’s blessedly free of the crass cynicism and commercialization that’s come to define today’s holiday-themed films. It’s the polar opposite of the execrable Christmas with the Kranks. It’s the perfect Christmas movie. It’s sweet, sentimental, nostalgic and brimming with good will. It truly deserves its status as a quintessential holiday classic. It’s a movie that translates to every generation and gives the younger viewers a look at Christmas as it was experienced by their grandparents (or great grandparents). It’s an excellent movie and my all time favorite Christmas movie. I triple dog dare you not to smile while watching it.
