Bad Santa (2003) Dimension/Comedy RT: 98 minutes Unrated Version (non-stop profanity and vulgar language, extremely crude humor, strong sexual content, nudity, violence, non-stop alcohol abuse, horrible behavior directed at children) Director: Terry Zwigoff Screenplay: Glenn Ficarra and John Requa Music: David Kitay Cinematography: Jamie Anderson Release date: November 26, 2003 (US) Cast: Billy Bob Thornton, Tony Cox, Brett Kelly, Laruen Graham, Lauren Tom, Bernie Mac, John Ritter, Cloris Leachman, Alex Borstein, Ajay Naidu, Ethan Phillips, Max Van Ville. Box Office: $60M (US)/$76.4M (World)
Rating: *** ½
WHOA! Talk about amazingly bad taste. What about a Christmas movie that features an alcoholic, foul-mouthed, abusive mall Santa as its protagonist? Yep, you read that right! Bad Santa stars Billy Bob Thornton (Sling Blade) as such a character in one of the most hysterically funny Christmas movies I’ve ever seen. It’s also one of the wrongest.
Bad Santa basically trashes everything that’s good and innocent about Christmas. You laugh at it for the same reasons you laugh at Borat, Family Guy or the earlier Farrelly Brothers comedies (Dumb and Dumber, There’s Something About Mary). You laugh heartily despite knowing in your heart just watching it could be a one-way ticket straight to hell. You don’t care because it’s so f***ing funny. That’s what’s great about it.
Willie T. Soke (Thornton) is a truly horrible person. He works as a mall Santa with his dwarf friend Marcus (Cox, Me, Myself & Irene). They have a pretty good racket going. They get a job at a different mall in a different town each year and wait until Christmas Eve to rob the place. Marcus hides out when the mall closes for the holiday and disables the alarm to allow expert safecracker Willie to come in and do his thing. While he works, Marcus does some “Christmas shopping” for his materialistic wife Lois (Tom, Futurama). It’s the kind of shopping that doesn’t require money or major credit cards. When the job is done, the two men part ways until the next holiday season.
Every year, Willie says it’s his last year doing this kind of work. By the time the Christmas season rolls around again, Willie has burned through his money. Every year, he reteams with Marcus for another score. Their latest gig has them in Phoenix where they immediately arouse the suspicions of fussy mall manager Bob (Ritter, Problem Child). Willie’s alcoholic rants about his “f*** stick” make enough of an impression on Bob for him to approach mall head of security Gin (Mac, the Ocean’s Eleven movies) and ask him to keep an eye on the pair.
Willie starts a relationship with Sue (Graham, Parenthood), a bartender with a Santa Claus fetish. She screams “F*** me, Santa!” during their sexual encounters. He also meets a young, friendless fat boy (Kelly, Unaccompanied Minors) who he calls “The Kid”. The boy lives with his senile grandmother (Leachman, Young Frankenstein) because his mother is dead and his father is “exploring mountains”. It seems like the perfect place to lay low after his motel room is searched. It’s a sweet set-up. He has the run of the place and the absent dad’s BMW.
Marcus has always tolerated Willie’s bad behavior and he’s just about had it with him. He keeps showing up for work drunk. He pulls up in the borrowed BMW; empty beer cans and booze bottles fall out when he opens the door. He screams “I’m on my f***ing break!” at a kid who approaches him in the food court. He rubs his crotch against a teenage girl in front of a pinball machine. He pisses himself while sitting in Santa’s chair. Bob catches him having sex with a fat woman in a dressing room in the clothing section. The attention Willie attracts is just going to make their scheme more difficult to carry out. On top of that, Gin figures out what they’re up to and demands a piece of the action. He wants half of the take, the greedy bastard.
Pretty much everything that happens throughout the course of Bad Santa is in bad taste. It’s hard to believe it can get away with the things it depicts. It’s especially funny when you consider that it’s distributed by Dimension Films, a subsidiary of Miramax Films which is owned by The Walt Disney Company. Technically, it’s a Disney movie. This is the same studio behind the Santa Clause films. How f***ed up is that? Among the movie’s other highlights (or low points, depending on your point of view), The Kid gets a wedgie from the bullies and walks into the mall with his yellow-stained underwear in full view. Shortly thereafter, Willie goes out and beats the hell out of the lead (underage) punk.
As if “Santa’s” actions aren’t bad enough, his vocabulary consists of a steady stream of profanity and vulgar remarks. He uses the f-word about 170 times. Marcus isn’t much better. At one point, he tells somebody “these lips were on your wife’s p***y last night. Why don’t you dust that thing off once in a while?” Bad Santa will never be mistaken for a politically correct movie with all of the jokes about little people and minorities. Marcus’ wife is one of the most offensive depictions of an Asian woman ever.
It goes without saying Bad Santa is NOT a movie for everybody, especially children. This is purely adult entertainment. Even then, it’s highly likely some adults will be offended by the material. I really like it though. It’s one of the funniest movies since the turn of the 21st century. While it trashes many of the nicer aspects of Christmas, it doesn’t disrespect the religious aspects of the holiday. In fact, it hardly mentions it at all except for Thurman’s Advent calendar and a Nativity display, both of which Willie drunkenly destroys.
Thornton is awesome in the title role even though Jack Nicholson (The Shining) and Bill Murray (Scrooged) were considered for it. The Sling Blade actor is the perfect choice for this particular character. Cox is also great as the nasty Marcus, a character who turns out to be more vile than Willie. Ritter, who died about two months before this movie’s release, does a really good job as the mall’s straight-laced manager. He can’t even bring himself to repeat the things that Willie says to him. I never liked the late Bernie Mac very much. I always found him rather abrasive and annoying much like his character in this movie. He’s the only complaint I have about Bad Santa. Graham is terrific as the Santa-loving girlfriend. She has a kind side to her in addition to being a total freak in the bedroom (or in the back seat of a car). Kelly does a pretty good job as The Kid. He’s a rather odd little boy, but we learn why he is the way he is and the viewer feels some sympathy for him.
I should mention that this review is about the movie’s unrated version (aka Badder Santa). There’s about seven minutes of additional footage and it makes the movie even more outrageous if you can believe it. Bad Santa is offensive, crass, vulgar, profane, mean-spirited and very, very funny! After watching it, parents may want to reconsider taking their children to visit Santa at the mall ever again. You never know who’s hiding beneath that red suit; it could be somebody like Willie. Scary thought, isn’t it?
