Christmas Evil (1980) Pan American Pictures/Horror RT: 93 minutes Rated R (language, graphic violence, frightening scenes, sexual content) Director: Lewis Jackson Screenplay: Lewis Jackson Music: Don Christensen, Joel Harris and Julia Heyward Cinematography: Ricardo Aronovich Release date: November 1980 Starring: Brandon Maggart, Jeffrey DeMunn, Dianne Hull, Andy Fenwick, Brian Neville, Joe Jamrog, Peter Neuman, Patricia Richardson. Box Office: N/A
Rating: *
Also known as You Better Watch Out, Christmas Evil is a stinker by any name. With an awesome title like that, I should have known the movie would not follow through on this promise. Sure enough, it doesn’t.
It predates Silent Night, Deadly Night by four years. I suspect the producers of the infamous 1984 slasher took a look at the earlier movie and made all necessary improvements. The idea of a killer Santa Claus is only natural, especially when you consider all of the other holiday-themed slasher movies that came out around this time. Sadly, there’s precious little slashing going on in Christmas Evil (only 4 murders). It’s mostly about some creepy guy who slowly experiences some kind of mental collapse around the holidays. He’s already nuts, but things happen that push him over the edge right into a full-fledged delusional state. If I wanted a character study about a disturbed individual, I would have watched Taxi Driver or Bad Lieutenant. With a title like Christmas Evil (or You Better Watch Out), I want a freaking bloodbath! I want some major mad slasher action! I want a body count that reaches double digits! This movie delivers none of that; consequently, I sat there growing more irritated by the moment. A good friend of mine once said that the most unwatchable kind of movie is a comedy that isn’t funny. I see the logic in that statement, when you’re not laughing at something that is supposed to be funny, time seems to drag. In the case of a boring splatter flick, time appears to stop altogether.
Christmas Evil opens, predictably, with some poor kid experiencing some kind of Christmastime trauma. This time, young Harry Stadling sees Mommy getting felt up by Santa Claus (it’s really his father) and it messes him up for life. 33 years later, Harry (Maggart, Dressed to Kill) is a barely functioning adult who works at the Jolly Dreams toy factory. Even though he’s just received a small promotion, his colleagues don’t respect him. One guy, Frank (Jamrog, United 93), bullies Harry into working his late night shift on the assembly line so he can hang out at the local bar.
Outside of work, Harry sees himself as Santa. His apartment is full of Christmas decorations and toys. He sleeps in his Santa suit and spies on the neighborhood children to see if they’re being naughty or nice. He even writes down the names of bad children in a book labeled “Bad Boys & Girls”. His younger brother Phil (DeMunn, The Green Mile) is losing his patience with Harry, especially after he calls to tell him he will not be coming for Thanksgiving dinner.
After an office Christmas party at which Harry learns of the owner’s intention to donate toys to the children at the state hospital if production increases sufficiently, he realizes everybody thinks he’s a joke. Something snaps and he becomes convinced that he is Santa Claus. At this point, you would think that Harry would go on a killing spree dressed as St. Nick, yes? Well, he goes out dressed as Santa on Christmas Eve. He steals a bunch of toys from the factory and delivers them to the hospital. He scares the hell out of a “naughty” child he saw reading a dirty magazine earlier. He also leaves a bag of dirt on his doorstep. He leaves a bunch of makeshift toys under his brother’s tree for his nephews. Oh yeah, Harry also kills four people. To be fair, the killings are pretty gory, but it doesn’t compensate for the lack of gore in the rest of the movie. In any event, Harry’s bloody mini-rampage makes the local news and he finds him being pursued by an angry mob bearing torches. Only in New Jersey, right?
According to Wikipedia, Christmas Eve has developed a small cult following over the years. Its fans include director John Waters (Pink Flamingos, Hairspray) who calls it “the greatest Christmas movie ever made”. Even though I respect this filmmaker in all his glorious weirdness, I think he may be a tad off base here. Maybe even more than a tad. Christmas Evil is definitely a weird movie, but not in that endearing way that makes titles like Repo Man and Liquid Sky such a pleasure to watch. As I sit here writing about it, I want to see what its fans see, but I just can’t seem to do it. I can’t get past the whole broken promise thing. It really should have been more of a bloodbath.
I also can’t past the fact that I remember Maggart primarily from the 80s sitcom Brothers where he played a not-too-bright character named Lou. He was very funny on that show and it’s hard to see him as a psychopath. Maggart just doesn’t strike me as particularly menacing. None of the other performances in Christmas Evil are particularly remarkable either. Simply put, it’s a really lame movie.
I’m sure I must have seen the box for this movie on the shelf at the local video store back in the day, but I just never bothered with it. I doubt I would have liked it any better as a teenager anyway. I’m wondering if Christmas Evil is one of those movies that deserve a second chance. Now that I know what it’s really about, maybe I can rewatch it with no raised expectations? Maybe I’ll do that next Christmas (I don’t have time this year). For now (based on my first impression), I don’t recommend watching it at all.
P.S. I did watch it a second time and I still don’t like it.
