The Best Christmas Pageant Ever (2024) Lionsgate/Comedy-Drama RT: 99 minutes Rated PG (thematic material) Director: Dallas Jenkins Screenplay: Ryan Swanson, Platte Clark and Darin McDaniel Music: Dan Haseltine and Matthew S. Nelson Cinematography: C. Kim Miles Release date: November 8, 2024 (US) Cast: Judy Greer, Pete Holmes, Molly Belle Wright, Sebastian Billingsley-Rodriguez, Beatrice Schneider, Mason D. Nelligan, Matthew Lamb, Ewan Wood, Essek Moore, Kynlee Moore, Nolan Grantham, Kirk B.R. Woller, Lorelei Olivia Mote, Danielle Hoetmer, Mariam Bernstein, Lauren Graham.
Rating: *** ½
I never heard of The Best Christmas Pageant Ever until I saw the preview. I didn’t know it was a best-selling book. I didn’t know it was made into a TV movie starring Loretta Swit and a young Fairuza Balk. I knew nothing about it at all. To me, it looked like a movie you’d seen on the Christian equivalent of the Hallmark Channel. The only missing was Candace Cameron Bure.
I also didn’t expect The Best Christmas Pageant Ever to be as good as it is. I didn’t expect to be moved as much as I was. Yet there I was, sitting in the theater, fighting back a few tears as it reached its predictable happy conclusion. How could this be, I thought? Me, a guy who lives for cinematic bloodbaths like Terrifier 3 and Violent Night, how is this happening? The truth is I’m a softie at heart. I enjoy corny sentimental holiday movies (almost) as much as copious amounts of gore and mayhem. There, I outed myself, are you happy?
Set in an indeterminate past (sometime in the 70s most likely), the story takes in the small town of Emmanuel where everybody looks forward to the annual Christmas pageant at the town church, the hub of social activity. Alas, not all is perfect in the otherwise idyllic town. Everybody, even the adults, live in fear of the Herdmans, described by the narrator as “the worst children in the world”. They do it all. They steal, curse, smoke cigars, set fires, push other kids around and generally cause mayhem wherever they go. The worst is the oldest sibling and ringleader Imogene (Schneider). She makes life miserable for classmate Beth (Wright) who prays to God to make the Herdmans go away. If only it was that easy.
Well, they say The Lord works in mysterious ways. Nobody could have expected the events that transpire. It all starts when the woman who’s directed the pageant for many years has to bow out due to an injury. Beth’s mom Grace (Greer, Halloween) volunteers to take the reins as a way to show the town’s super-moms she’s good for more than bringing the cookies.
Meanwhile, little brother Charlie (Rodriguez) tells one of the Herdmans he gets all the desserts and sweets he wants at Sunday school. This prompts the whole brood to show up at church one Sunday. Then they hear about the pageant. Imogene has never heard the Nativity story before. None of them have. Once they do, Grace decides she wants to play Mary. She also wants her brother Ralph (Nelligan) to be Joseph, her other three brothers- Claude (Lamb), Leroy (Wood) and Ollie (Moore)- to play the Wise Men and baby sister Gladys (Heiman) as the angel who speaks to the shepherds. Strangely enough, none of the other kids volunteer to play the parts. Grace puts the Herdmans in the play much to the horror of the whole congregation.
Beth, and everybody but Grace, is convinced the unruly Herdmans will ruin the pageant. It’s what they do. It’s an especially important one with it being the 75th. The town’s sourpuss super-moms want Grace to kick them out of the pageant. Grace won’t budge. She believes they’ll come through. They’ve already shown interest in the story in expressing their desire to kill off King Herod for sending people to kill baby Jesus.
I will grant that the Herdmans are a wild bunch. Why wouldn’t they be? They have no adult supervision at home. Dad is gone and Mom works all the time. Of course they’re going to raise hell. However, I can think of one kid that’s worse than any of them. That would be Alice (Mote), an annoying goody-two-shoes who writes down all the bad things the other kids do so she can report back to her mother (Hoetmer), the head super-mom. She’s played Mary for the past three pageants and resents being replaced by a Herdman. This is the kid that deserves to be smacked. She’s a brat.
Of course, nobody gets smacked in The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. It doesn’t get more violent than a snowball fight and a few exaggerated threats from the Herdmans. This is a movie that honors its PG rating and keeps it sacred. There’s nothing remotely sexual, crude or vulgar. No drugs or alcohol. A kid is seen smoking a cigar. In terms of language, a few utterances of “My God!” is as rough as it gets although there is one scene depicting one of the Herdmans cursing out his teacher, but you only see his mouth moving while the other kids look on in shock.
Directed by Dallas Jenkins (The Chosen), The Best Christmas Pageant Ever is one of the sweetest Christmas movies I’ve seen in a long time. It’s very well-intentioned. It sends a nice message about acceptance, understanding, compassion and not judging others. It also has something to say about the true meaning of Christmas. I can’t recall a single mention of presents or Santa. It’s all done without the slightest trace of cynicism, commercialism or condescension. Even better, it’s done well. All of the acting is good. That is to say, none of it is bad. Schneider is especially good as Imogene, a preteen who has a good reason for wanting to play Mary. Her transformation as she gets into her role is convincing. Her performance in the pageant will bring tears to your eyes.
I really have no reason to come down on The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. it’s a nice movie, a very nice one at that. Sure, some of the church ladies are catty and judgy, but all is right with the world by the time the kids take their final bow. I like that we’re told what becomes of the Herdman kids later in life. I love that The Best Christmas Pageant Ever is so positive. I still enjoy a good holiday bloodbath, but it’s nice to balance them out with a piece of Christmas candy.
