The Nutcracker in 3-D (2010) Freestyle/Fantasy-Musical-Adventure RT: 110 minutes Rated PG (thematic material, scary images, action) Director: Andrei Konchalovsky Screenplay: Andrei Konchalovsky and Chris Solimine Music: Eduard Artemyev and Tim Rice (lyrics) Cinematography: Mike Southon Release date: November 24, 2010 (US) Cast: Elle Fanning, Nathan Lane, John Turturro, Richard E. Grant, Frances de la Tour, Yuliya Vysotskaya, Aaron Michael Drozin, Charlie Rowe, Shirley Henderson, Peter Elliott, Daniel Peacock, Hugh Sachs, Africa Nile. Box Office: $195,459 (US)/$17.1M (World)
Rating: ***
It looks like I found another Christmas-themed midnight movie. It’s so bizarre it belongs on a double bill with Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale. I’m not kidding. The Nutcracker in 3-D, also known as The Nutcracker: The Untold Story, is way, WAY out there in left field. It ain’t The Nutcracker you went to see on a school field trip or got dragged to by well-meaning grandparents around the holiday season. It’s something I guarantee you’ve never seen before and probably never will again. In the words of teen Movie Guy (and part-time pothead), “it’s f***ed up, man.”
Directed by Andrei Konchalovsky (Runaway Train), The Nutcracker in 3-D is the darkest and strangest version of the classic story I’ve ever seen. For one thing, it’s not a ballet, not anymore. Konchalovsky opts for a straighter (?!) telling of the tale of a little girl and one magic Christmas Eve. In his hands, it’s a true nightmare before Christmas.
Set in 1920s Vienna, Mary (Fanning, Super 8) receives a special gift from her Uncle Albert (Lane, The Birdcage) who comes over to watch her and her toy-wrecking younger brother Max (Drozin) while their parents attend a fancy adults-only Christmas party. Now’s as good a time as any to mention Uncle Albert’s last name is Einstein. That’s right, as in the famous physicist to whom “everything is relative”. ANYWAY, he gives her a wooden nutcracker doll along with an elaborate dollhouse he’s been hiding in his attic for about 30 years. He puts the kids to bed after a quick song and dance (“It’s All Relative”).
Later that night, Mary wakes up to find N.C. (as the nutcracker likes to be called) has magically come to life. He needs her help with something. He’s a prince who lost his kingdom to the evil Rat King (Turturro, The Big Lebowski) and his mother (Tour, the Harry Potter movies) who turned him into a wooden nutcracker. Only Mary can break the spell and turn him back into a real boy so he can reclaim what’s rightfully his.
By way of extra help, N.C. recruits the occupants of the dollhouse- chimpanzee man Gielgud (Elliott and Peacock), Pagliacci-like clown Tinker (Sachs) and little drummer boy Sticks (Nile)- to aid him in his mission. They’ve also come to life. Not only that, Mary has shrunk down to their size making everything look ten times larger, especially the Christmas tree. That’s where they find the Snow Fairy (Vysotskaya) who explains N.C.’s backstory to the girl who’s already freaked because she looks exactly like her mother.
Temporarily back in her waking life, humorless Dad (Grant, Withnail & I) refuses to believe his daughter’s fantastic story. He thinks it’s because of Uncle Albert filling her head with wild stories. That night, Mary and Max decide to join N.C. in the fight to liberate his city and overthrow the oppressive Rat King who takes great delight in burning children’s toys because the black smoke blocks out the sun. He built a factory for that purpose. Anyone who opposes him is sent to work there.
I would LOVE to get my hands on whatever Konchalovsky and co-writer Chris Solimine were smoking when they conceived The Nutcracker in 3-D. A movie as nutty as this could only come from people under the influence of hallucinogenics. How else could somebody find a way to incorporate Einstein, Sigmund Freud and Nazi Germany into the classic story? What kind of mad genius would put lyrics to the classical compositions of Pyotr Tchaikovsky? “It’s All Relative” is sung to the tune of “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy”. Who does that? On top of everything else, it’s in 3D! It’s like eating a Christmas cookie laced with LSD.
When The Nutcracker in 3-D opened in theaters, it only showed on 42 screens in the entire US. I don’t recall whether it opened in the Philadelphia area, but I wish I had the opportunity to see it in a theater because it looks like the 3D effects were an asset rather than a liability. It appears as though they brought the viewer right into the director’s nightmarish vision of the tale that has enchanted audiences since the late 19th century. Usually, one expects to see The Nutcracker performed as a ballet. I recall seeing the 1993 filmed version featuring Macaulay Culkin as the Nutcracker Prince. It’s a nightmare of a different kind.
There are no sugarplum fairies in The Nutcracker in 3-D. It’s more like something from the warped mind of Terry Gilliam (Time Bandits, Brazil). It didn’t go over with audiences or critics. It bombed badly, not even cracking $1M in the US. It did better overseas, making an additional $17M worldwide. It still wasn’t enough to cover the costs of the $90M spectacle. It was universally panned by critics who were horrified by what had been done to Tchaikovsky’s work. Call me a dissenter. I like it. How can I possibly dislike a movie where Einstein breaks into a number about relativity and the nature of reality?
The Nutcracker in 3-D is supposed to be a family movie, but I’m not sure children will enjoy it. On the contrary, they’re more likely to be scared of it. All of those horrific images of the Rat King’s kingdom and the soldiers who look like rats are anything but charming. The real audience for this one is people who love “so bad, they’re great” films. They’d be joined by those who prefer less conventional holiday movies that don’t involve Santa Claus, Grinches and boys in danger of shooting their eyes out with a certain dangerous present. These are the people who makes titles like Santa Claus Conquers the Martian cult favorites.
The special effects in The Nutcracker in 3-D are both giddy and dazzling. The production design by Kevin Phipps is impressive. The world it depicts sometimes resembles a kaleidoscope in its depth of visual texture. Other times, it’s a hellish landscape right out of Nazi Germany. The music, which features lyrics by Tim Rice (The Lion King), is better than you’d expect what with words being put to classical compositions.
I don’t think The Nutcracker in 3-D would have worked as well without its stellar and eclectic cast. It takes a particular kind of actor to make such an unusual premise work. In the lead, Elle Fanning shows that she’s the sister to watch. While Dakota has worked with some big names (Robert De Niro, Sean Penn, Tom Cruise, Denzel Washington), the younger Fanning takes on more challenging roles in smaller films like Somewhere and Phoebe in Wonderland. She imbues Mary, an imaginative child trying to make sense of the scary adult world around her, with innocence and wonder. Lane makes a hilariously funny Einstein, truly the very definition of absent-minded genius. Grant inhabits the role of the father whose stern facade hides a very painful childhood memory, the loss of his own sense of wonder and magic. He transfers his bitterness to his own daughter by constantly reminding her that the only real things in life are those that can be seen and/or touched. Turturro is positively frightening as the Hitler/Napoleon dictator whose evil plans threaten to crush childhood innocence forever. He’s the subconscious manifestation of the real life forces that crush Mary’s imaginative spirit.
As you can see, there’s a great deal of intelligence to The Nutcracker in 3-D, a wild ride that you’re never likely for forget. I’m almost tempted to call it Toy Story on acid. It’s just as accurate as any other description I’ve given. It certainly is original. It’s the perfect movie to watch while smoking grass by the Yuletide fire.
