Red One (2024) MGM/Action-Comedy RT: 123 minutes Rated PG-13 (action, some violence, language) Director: Jake Kasdan Screenplay: Chris Morgan Music: Henry Jackman Cinematography: Dan Mindel Release date: November 15, 2024 (US) Cast: Dwayne Johnson, Chris Evans, Lucy Liu, J.K. Simmons, Kiernan Shipka, Bonnie Hunt, Reinaldo Faberlle, Kristofer Hivju, Nick Kroll, Wesley Kimmel, Mary Elizabeth Ellis, Marc Evan Jackson.
Rating: ** ½
If you’re a parent of small children and are thinking about taking them to see the holiday-themed action-comedy Red One, you might want to reconsider. It’s not a light, whimsical movie in which Dwayne Johnson takes on some innocuous meanie out to spoil Christmas for everybody. This movie gets dark with its killer snowmen and the evil witch behind it all not to mention a few appearances by Krampus himself. The little ones will more likely be frightened than delighted by it. It more than earns its PG-13. Consider yourselves duly warned, Moms and Dads.
Red One has been getting a lot of hate from critics. I don’t think it’s as bad as all that. Oh, it has enough issues to stuff a couple of stockings, but its heart is in the right place. It’s not a cynical, mean-spirited piece like Four Christmases. For that, I am eternally grateful to director Jake Kasdan who previously brought the last two Jumanji films to life. His intentions are good, but you know what they say about good intentions. There are times when Red One resembles a version of holiday hell, but it’s all done in the spirit of fun which miraculously manages to come through.
Red One offers up a different version of Santa Claus and his whole operation. It’s not just a matter of the jolly red one jumping in the sleigh and bringing toys to all the good children of the world. Santa and his North Pole crew spend 364 days meticulously planning for that one night. They have it all mapped out right down to the smallest detail. Also, this Santa looks nothing like the one we’re used to. He’s more fit than fat. He works out daily. He doesn’t have a long white beard either. He looks more like an older middle-aged guy who spends his downtime at the gym.
Like I indicated earlier, there are protocols in place for everything including a worst case scenario-type situation like Santa (Simmons, Whiplash) being kidnapped. When that happens, MORA gets involved. MORA stands for Mythological Oversight and Restoration Authority. They’re like the FBI of the magical world. Everybody’s in a panic. Santa must be found and quickly. It’s less than 24 hours until go time. If he’s not rescued by then, there will be no Christmas.
Agency director Zoe Harlow (Liu, Kill Bill: Vol. 1) demands to know how it happened. Her team discovers it’s the fault of Jack O’Malley (Evans, Captain America), a mercenary hacker whose specialty is finding people who don’t want to be found. He unknowingly provides the means for the anonymous bad guys to locate the North Pole. He’s picked up by MORA and brought in for questioning. He doesn’t know who the buyers are, but he might be able to help track them down…. for a substantial fee, of course.
Jack is paired with Callum Drift (Johnson, the Fast & Furious films), the head of Santa’s security team ELF (Enforcement Logistics and Fortification). This will be his last Christmas with Santa. He’s resigning his position as he’s grown disillusioned with humanity. He can no longer see the good in anybody, especially adults. He doesn’t want to work with Jack. He doesn’t trust him. Jack isn’t so thrilled to be working with the behemoth either, especially after he has his partner rough him up in an effort to elicit information. Did I mention said partner is a talking polar bear? Well, he is.
ANYWAY, the reluctant partners soon find out the one behind the kidnapping is Gryla (Shipka, Longlegs), a nasty witch with a plan to punish all the people on the naughty list by imprisoning them in snow globes. In order to accomplish this, she needs Santa’s magic. It takes some doing for Callum and Jack to find out where she has Santa stashed. At one point, their investigation leads them to the secret lair of Krampus (Hivju, Game of Thrones), Santa’s not so nice brother and Gryla’s ex.
Red One is a strange one, that’s for sure. Theoretically, it’s a fun movie that completely embraces its silliness. It builds a world much like Marvel did with their cinematic universe. It’s a world where the Headless Horseman is brought in for questioning because he’s one of the usual suspects. It’s a world where toy stores have magic portals that allow North Pole personnel to go anywhere in the world. It’s a world where a toy Hot Wheels car can be magically enlarged and used for transportation. It sounds great and it would be if a pallor of darkness didn’t hover over the proceedings.
The main problem with Red One is one of tone. Like I said before, this movie gets dark. It doesn’t sink the movie, but it does weigh it down a little. The scene in Krampus’ lair looks like something out of Clive Barker’s Nightbreed. The dark stuff isn’t a good fit with the movie’s more fun aspects. The visuals aren’t so great either. The CGI is mostly bad with just a hint of creepy like when Callum keeps changing body size during a fight scene. The action scenes are overedited to the point of confusion. Between that and the effects, there are few if any thrills to be had.
I couldn’t help but notice Johnson looks bored in most scenes. Could it be he’s finally had it with playing himself? He seems aloof as a guy questioning his faith in humanity after hundreds of years of serving them. It doesn’t look like he’s really into it even in the scenes where he is into it. Evans fares a little better as a mean, selfish type who enjoys doing all kinds of bad things. In one scene, he literally takes candy from a baby. It should come as no surprise then that he doesn’t have a close relationship with his angry preteen son (Kimmel, The Mandalorian). Predictably, the kid gets dragged into the mess his father’s trying to help clean up.
As the big guy himself, Simmons is okay. It’s hard to say because he’s not in it all that much and he’s unconscious for most of his screen time. When he’s up and running, he’s fine even though CGI does most of the work. Shipka appears to be having some fun as Gryla, but once again CGI does most of the work.
I kind of enjoyed Red One. It’s diverting enough even if it’s longer than it needs to be. I see why it’s not going over with critics or audiences. Me, I like weird Christmas movies like 2010’s The Nutcracker in 3D. That one is insane. So is Red One, but in a different way. It’s a decent movie, but it’s not going to be one of my annual go-to holiday movies.
