Where the Boys Are ’84 (1984) TriStar/Comedy RT: 94 minutes Rated R (language, nudity, strong sexual content, drug and alcohol abuse, drug references) Director: Hy Averback Screenplay: Jeff Burkhart and Stu Krieger Music: Sylvester Levay Cinematography: James A. Contner Release date: April 6, 1984 (US) Cast: Lisa Hartman, Lorna Luft, Wendy Schaal, Lynne-Holly Johnson, Russell Todd, Howard McGillin, Christopher McDonald, Daniel McDonald, Alana Stewart, Louise Sorel, Asher Brauner, Barry Marder, Glenn Super. Box Office: $10.5M (US)
Rating: *** ½
Shall we start by addressing the elephant in the room? The four female leads in the teen sex romp Where the Boys Are ’84 are too old to be playing college students. Let’s run down the list together. At the time of production, Lisa Hartman was 27, Lorna Luft was 31, Wendy Schaal was 29 and Lynn-Holly Johnson was 25. How obvious is it? My wife pointed it out when we watched it the other night and she’s not even familiar with any of the actresses. Besides, even if they’re supposed to be non-traditional students (which I doubt), aren’t they too mature to be engaging in teenage hijinks? Ah, whatever. It doesn’t diminish my enjoyment of it one bit.
A loose remake of the 1960 comedy of the same name (minus the ’84 obviously), Where the Boys Are ’84 contains the three Ss of 80s teen comedy: sun, surf and sex. Four college girls from the Midwest hit the beach in Fort Lauderdale for that traditional rite of passage, spring break. They have all sorts of misadventures as look for fun and romance… I mean, sex.
Serious-minded music major Jenny (Hartman, Knot’s Landing) is torn between two guys different as night and day, wannabe rock musician Scott (Todd, Friday the 13th Part 2) and snobbish music composer Camden (Daniel McDonald, The Falcon and the Snowman). Outspoken Carole (Luft, Grease 2) breaks up with longtime boyfriend Chip (McGillin); he comes looking for her hoping to find her before she finds somebody new. Spoiled debutante Sandra (Schaal, It’s a Living) claims she’s only stopping by briefly to visit family, snobby Aunt Barbara (Sorel, Santa Barbara) and cousin Camden. She gets romantically involved with the cop (Brauner, Switchblade Sisters) who arrests her on drunk and disorderly charges her first night in town. Laurie (Johnson, For Your Eyes Only) is a complete floozy. She just wants to nail the best looking guys in Ft. Lauderdale. She’s looking for “some total bonehead with the most gorgeous bod you’ve ever seen.” Well, if you’re going to dream, dream big.
Where the Boys Are ’84 plays like a week-long party as the girls go from one misadventure to another- e.g. a drunken driving accident, a Hot Bod contest (it’s just what it sounds like!), a formal at Aunt Barbara’s mansion that turns into a wild party and a benefit concert where Camden and Scott compete for Jenny’s affections with music.
If you grew up in the 80s, it goes without saying that college students’ values and attitudes are markedly different from their early 60s counterparts. I tried watching the original movie as a teen and couldn’t get into it. I changed the channel after 30 minutes. I relate better to the remake because it fits right in with the horny teenager comedies of the era like its male counterpart Spring Break. I was a fan of the horny teenager comedies of the 80s because I was a horny teenager in the 80s. I’m still a fan. They remind of a more innocent time before AIDS put an end to casual sexual encounters and a certain First Lady urged us to “just say no” to drugs.
Directed by Hy Averback (I Love You, Alice B. Toklas), Where the Boys Are ’84 is as funny as it is fun. I saw it opening night with my younger brother and two friends from down the block. We had a great time bearing witness to the good time girls’ wild antics. One of the biggest laughs I got was when Jenny’s friends urged her to join them on their vacation by assuring her she can work on her term paper while lying on the beach. LMOA! Yeah, like that’s going to happen. The rowdy college student invasion of the lawn party happens when somebody tips them off via a plane banner. There’s also a funny bit involving an inflatable sex doll the girls name Dave. Laurie uses it as a teaching tool for her less experienced friends. Where the lesson goes from there, I dare not say.
Ah, Laurie. Now this is a girl who knows how to have a good time as evidenced by the contents of her suitcase: “One bottle of 150 proof rum, birth control pills, some Midol, my father’s American Express card, a king size bottle of Alka-Seltzer, one sexy black teddy, a lid of grass and a quarter just in case I have to call home.” This is where the old double-standard comes into play. If a male character behaves as Laurie does, nobody makes a big deal of it. His friends call him a stud. HOWEVER, if a girl does these things, she’s labeled a slut. It’s not fair. The makers of Where the Boys Are ’84 attempt to balance the scales in the girls’ favor by making the guys the target of humiliation. One in particular gets dissed big time by Laurie calling attention to his, shall we say, shortcomings.
In any event, Where the Boys Are ’84 isn’t meant to be some grand feminist statement; it just wants to amuse and entertain for 94 minutes. Everybody appears to be having a good time. The ladies are HOT and the guys are cute. So what if it suffers from “Stockard Syndrome”, a condition named for Stockard Channing who played a 34YO high school senior in Grease. Just how many times was she held back? The performances are better than one would expect from a movie in this particular genre. There are some interesting characters hanging around on the fringes of the action like the sleazy motel manager (comedian Marder) where they’re staying and a guy known as “Mr. Bullhorn” who likes to play tricks on topless sunbathers.
Where the Boys Are ’84 is dumb. It’s as empty-headed as most of the characters. HOWEVER, it’s one of the better horny teenager comedies. It doesn’t look cheap like most of these movies too. It has pretty good production values. It’s the first movie released by the newly-formed TriStar Pictures, sister studio to Columbia. It also has some great rock music on the soundtrack. Songs like “Hot Nights” (by Jude Cole) and “Seven Day Heaven” (by Shandi) set just the right tone. The climax features a duet (“Jenny”) between rock guitarist Scott and classical pianist Camden. Hartman does a cover of Connie Stevens’ original theme song.
Low intelligence level notwithstanding, Where the Boys Are ’84 is a perfect example of a party movie. It’s basically an update of the dopey teen comedies that used to play at drive-ins. I, for one, can’t resist a movie about a bunch of attractive teens/college students hanging around the beach by day and partying all night.
TRIVIA TIDBIT: Alana Stewart, who plays a wealthy friend of Aunt Barbara, used to be married to actor George Hamilton who played the male lead in 1960 original.
