The Photograph (2020)    Universal/Drama    RT: 106 minutes    Rated PG-13 (sexuality, brief strong language)    Director: Stella Meghie    Screenplay: Stella Meghie    Music: Robert Glasper    Cinematography: Mark Schwartzbard    Release date: February 14, 2020 (US)    Cast: Issa Rae, Lakeith Stanfield, Rob Morgan, Lil Rel Howery, Teyonah Parris, Kelvin Harrison Jr., Jasmine Cephas Jones, Chante Adams, Y’lan Noel, Chelsea Peretti, Courtney B. Vance, Maxwell Whittington-Cooper, Marsha Stephanie Blake, Dakota Paradise.    Box Office: $20.5M (US)

Rating: **

 I’d rather look at a photograph of the two main characters in the romantic drama The Photograph for two hours than ever sit through this boring beyond belief movie again. I could imagine a much better story than the one laid out by writer-director Stella Meghie (Everything, Everything). I haven’t been this thoroughly disinterested in a movie or its characters since the last Terrence Malik pretentious POC (December’s A Hidden Life). I could barely stay awake with all the dialogue-free dramatic pauses that stop the movie dead in its tracks. The scenes with people talking are only marginally better. I’m talking a very slim margin.

 The Photograph starts off promising with New York journalist Michael (Stanfield, Knives Out) interviewing a man named Isaac (Morgan, Just Mercy) at his home in New Orleans for a story he’s doing on deceased photographer Christina Eames (Adams, Monsters and Men). Isaac knew her back in the day; they had a smoldering love affair that ended when she took off for New York in ’84. He refers Michael to her now-grown daughter Mae (Rae, Insecure), a curator at the Queens Museum. Naturally, he becomes more interested in his source than the story.

 A parallel narrative set in the 80s tells Isaac and Christine’s story. They’re in love and her mother (Blake, When They See Us) doesn’t approve. As a mere fisherman, there’s no way he’ll ever be a moneymaker. Ultimately, Christine decides to follow her dream and hops a bus to the Big Apple to begin a new life without Isaac who wants to stay in Louisiana. Back in the present, Michael and Mae grow close as they continue their research on her mother’s life. Questions about Mae’s paternity arise. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out exactly where this plot thread is headed. It’s as predictable as night and day.

 I give credit where credit is due. There are two aspects of The Photograph I like; the gentle cinematography by Mark Schwartzbard and the sultry jazz score by Robert Glasper. The look of the movie recalls the romantic movies of old while the music lends a note of class. It’s miles better than rap or hip-hop. This is clearly a movie intended for adults.

 As much as I admire its artistic merits, I just can’t get past the fact that I didn’t care about the story or its characters. It didn’t pull me in. However, if I had choose one or the other, I’d say I liked the flashback story more than the main one. Sadly, it’s not as developed as it should be. In fact, underdevelopment appears to be the flavor du jour in The Photograph. There’s a subplot about a romance between Michael’s intern (Harrison, Waves) and Mae’s best friend (Jones, Monsters and Men) that doesn’t get its due. Stop me if you’ve heard this one. They say they’re not into each other but they really are. That pretty much sums up their story arc.

 The acting itself isn’t bad. Stanfield and Rae are okay, but I never really felt the supposed heat between them. I felt like they liked each other, but their attraction was based solely on the screenplay requiring it. Unfortunately, they have to contend with co-stars that steal every scene they’re in. I’m referring to Lil Rel Howley (Uncle Drew) as Michael’s married-with-children brother and Chelsea Peretti as Michael’s boss, a character less broad but not too far removed from the captain’s assistant she played on Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Anytime they’re on-screen, The Photograph has a faint pulse.

 It felt like time stopped the whole time I watched The Photograph. It bored the living hell out of me. The story didn’t move me; the main characters didn’t interest me. I had zero emotional investment in any of their drama, both as individuals and a couple. The ending felt completely false. In short, I did NOT like The Photograph. While it has its good points, it’s simply not enough to make it worthwhile.

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