Ticks (1993)    Republic Pictures/Horror-Sci-Fi    RT: 85 minutes    Rated R (sci-fi gore and violence, language)    Director: Tony Randel    Screenplay: Brent V. Friedman    Music: Christopher L. Stone    Cinematography: Steve Grass    Release date: May 25, 1994 (DTV)    Cast: Rosalind Allen, Ami Dolenz, Seth Green, Virginya Keehne, Ray Oriel, Alfonso Ribeiro, Peter Scolari, Dina Dayrit, Michael Medeiros, Barry Lynch, Clint Howard, Rance Howard, Judy Jean Berns, Timothy Landfield, J.D. Stone.    Box Office: N/A

Rating: *** ½

 POP QUIZ, MOVIE HOT SHOTS! What direct-to-video horror flick has a Bosom Buddy (NOT Tom Hanks), a Monkee’s daughter, Scotty Evil, Carlton Banks and two Howards (NOT Ron)? Give up? The answer is Ticks, a surprisingly fun monster movie about killer mutant ticks. Directed by Tony Randel (Hellbound: Hellraiser II), it has more going for it than most DTV horror movies. It’s set in a rural wooded area with a marijuana farm run by the two human villains, Sir (Lynch, Demonic Toys) and his flunky Jerry (Medeiros, Shakedown). Sir looks like the blonde-haired bad guy from Quiet Cool. Jerry may as well have stepped off the set of Deliverance right into this movie. They appear to be the only ones working the farm except for Jarvis, a weird little guy (and human victim #1) played by the one and only Clint Howard proving that he can get acting gigs in movies NOT directed by big brother Ron.

 I never would have watched Ticks if I wasn’t looking for something appropriate to pair with Slugs, TBT’s other creature feature. I settled on it because I remember the poster hanging on the supply room door of the Pizza Hut I worked at in the late 90s. They must have gotten it from the West Coast Video that used to be next door. ANYWAY, I totally didn’t expect to enjoy Ticks as much as I did. I figured it would be another crappy DTV movie best left to gather dust on the shelf. Boy, was I ever wrong! It’s actually pretty great.

 The plot has a group of troubled inner city teens going on a wilderness retreat led by Holly (Allen, Children of the Corn II) and Charles (Scolari, Bosom Buddies). Yes, they’re romantically involved. The reluctant campers consist of Tyler (Green, the Austin Powers series), a kid with a fear of the woods related to a childhood trauma; Panic (Ribeiro, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air), a thuggish type accompanied by his dog; spoiled princess Dee Dee (Dolenz, She’s Out of Control), her boyfriend Rome (Oriel, Blood In, Blood Out), Charles’ sullen daughter Melissa (Keehne, Invaders from Mars) and traumatized teen Kelly (Dayrit).

 So where do the killer mutant ticks come from? They’re a result of exposure to the run-off of the steroid concoction Jarvis uses to grow the marijuana plants. They grow to be big, vicious and aggressive. They burrow into the skin of their victims. They also cause their victims to have LSD-like hallucinations. I just thought that could use some clearing up.

 Ticks unfolds just like you’d expect. The teens do stupid stuff, the adults are oblivious, the situation spirals out of control and everybody (bad guys included) ends up trapped in the same cabin by an army of killer ticks while a forest fire approaches. Of course, the bad guys will show just how really bad they are by trying to steal the only means of transportation out of the area at gunpoint. As if they didn’t already prove it by killing the sole representative of law enforcement in that neck of the woods played by Howard #2 Rance, father to Ron and Clint.

 When I watch horror movies where teens act like idiots, I always think of the immortal words of the late, great Mr. Hand (from Fast Times at Ridgemont High) when he said, “What are you people, on dope?” Haven’t they learned by now that going off to have sex in an isolated place is a BAD IDEA? It’s also a bad idea to leave the campsite in an attempt to return home while there are gun-toting pot farmers afoot. And shouldn’t Charles be a little more concerned about the big tick that attacks his daughter in the woods? He acts like it’s no big deal. Why doesn’t she show him where it got her? It’s dumb stuff like this that makes Ticks a lot of fun.

 The creature effects by Doug Beswick are terrific. I love that the ticks aren’t CGI. They’re puppets and models which adds to the movie’s campy charm. The gore is authentic stage blood. There’s plenty of it especially in the scene where a gigantic tick monster emerges from the dead body of a major character. The effects work in this movie is superior. It’s one of the many praises of Ticks, a total throwback to the creature features that used to play at drive-ins on balmy summer nights. It takes place at an old summer camp. It has loony locals (but no Crazy Ralph), grotesque creatures, gross body horror, blood, ooze and slime. It has a decent cast that includes a few actors too old to be playing teens. Green is pretty good as anxiety-ridden Tyler. Ribeiro isn’t entirely believable as an urban tough. Dolenz, daughter of Monkee Micky, is HOT!

 What’s cool is that Ticks has a sense of humor about itself. It’s about killer mutant ticks, how serious can it afford to be? It’s as silly as they come. That’s what makes it great fun. I never dreamed I’d lavish such high praise on a DTV horror flick but it goes to show you can’t always judge a movie by its VHS cover.