A Very Harold & Kumar 3-D Christmas (2011) Warner Bros.-New Line/Comedy RT: 90 minutes Rated R (strong crude and sexual content, graphic nudity, pervasive language, drug use, some violence) Director: Todd Strauss-Schulson Screenplay: Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg Music: William Ross Cinematography: Michael Barrett Release date: November 4, 2011 (US) Cast: John Cho, Kal Penn, Danny Trejo, Paula Garces, Danneel Harris, Thomas Lennon, Neil Patrick Harris, Eddie Kaye Thomas, David Krumholtz, Elias Koteas, Amir Blumenfeld, Jordan Hinson, Bobby Lee, Patton Oswalt, Richard Riehle. Box Office: $35.4M (US)
Rating: ***
Forget about It’s a Wonderful Life. The spiritual epiphany experienced by Jimmy Stewart is nothing compared to the latest quest of our favorite stoner heroes. A Very Harold & Kumar 3-D Christmas makes Bad Santa look like a heartwarming family movie. It’s a crude stoner comedy adorned with mistletoe. Even better, it knows it and wears the distinction like a badge of honor.
A few years have passed since their last adventure. The former best buds have become estranged as their lives have taken divergent paths. Harold (Cho) is a happily married man and lives in a nice house with his wife Maria (Garces) in the suburbs of New Jersey. He’s gainfully employed as an investment banker on Wall Street where angry protesters throw eggs and assorted bodily matter at him as leaves at the end of the day. Kumar (Penn) hasn’t changed too much. He still lives in the same crappy apartment and gets stoned all the time. His girlfriend Vanessa (Harris) left him because of his irresponsible ways. He’s been thrown out of medical school after failing a drug test. And now he’s just learned his ex is pregnant with his child.
Fate brings the guys together again after somebody leaves a mysterious package for Harold outside Kumar’s apartment. He decides to drop it off at his old friend’s house before heading off to a wild party with his new roommate/best friend, some bespectacled loser named Adrian (Blumenfeld). Harold is preparing to spend Christmas with his in-laws who make no effort to hide their disapproval of their son-in-law. Her father Carlos (Trejo, Machete) is especially hostile. It looks like Harold should consider taking up old habits again.
Kumar shows up and Harold invites him in for a quick drink. Naturally, it doesn’t take long for Kumar to cause trouble. This time, he accidentally burns down the Christmas tree, the one the father-in-law grew himself, the one he schlepped all the way to Jersey. The guys need to obtain another tree and decorate it before Maria and her parents return from their excursion into the city. Thus begins another adventure-filled night for the two former buds. This time, we have the added luxury of 3D meaning we get to see many, many things leap (or drift) from the screen just mere inches from our face.
On their quest for a new tree, Harold and Kumar will encounter tree salesmen posing as street gangsters, a rowdy teen party, a homicidal Ukrainian gangster (Koteas), another visit to White Castle, a baby who ingests many illegal narcotic substances and (of course) Neil Patrick Harris. In one of the movie’s most outrageous moments, Kumar lights up a bowl of weed in a car with a baby on board. Almost immediately, the cute tyke gets the giggles and a mad case of the munchies. I know it’s wrong on so many levels, but it’s also hilarious.
A Very Harold & Kumar 3-D Christmas is hilarious from start to finish. It’s definitely one of the most irreverent holiday movies ever made. Any movie that features Santa Claus getting shot in the head and a trip to Heaven where Jesus is shown with a topless woman under each arm will never be considered an example of good taste. This movie leaves no stone unturned as the guys manage to disrespect everything that’s good about Christmas. In a nod to A Christmas Story, Harold gets a certain part of his body stuck to a frozen pole (hint, it’s not his tongue) without so much as a triple-dog dare. Of course, Neil Patrick Harris puts in his customary appearance. This time he’s headlining a Christmas show. Not surprisingly, Harold and Kumar take part dressed as Nutcracker soldiers.
There’s more outrageous stuff in A Very Harold & Kumar 3-D Christmas, but I don’t want to give all of it away. Like its predecessors, it relies on a lot of shock humor, those moments when the viewer gasps and says “I can’t believe they just did/said that.” In addition, it makes excellent use of its 3D effects. Here’s a quick list of the stuff you’ll see comin’ at ya: snowflakes, eggs, ping pong balls, giant candy canes, blood, a knocked-out tooth, broken glass, pointing fingers, a giant joint and clouds of marijuana smoke. There’s an especially funny scene where a big bag of cocaine is busted open and Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” plays as the feel-good powder falls to the floor and drifts off the screen. On top of that, there’s a great line that sums up the whole 3D overuse thing. Harold asks one of his junior colleagues “Hasn’t 3D jumped the shark?” Uh, did he not see Shark Night 3D?
The most inventive moment in A Very Harold & Kumar 3-D Christmas occurs after the guys drink eggnog that’s been laced with something. They imagine themselves as Claymation figures in a bloody, nightmarish version of a Rankin-Bass Christmas special. The Heat Miser has nothing on the killer snowman that chases our two heroes down the city streets. That’s not the only violent business going on. The guys are targeted by Ukrainian gangsters for violating the teenage daughter of their boss. It gets pretty bloody.
Once again, Cho and Penn make a great comedy team, especially now that Harold is an uptight suburbanite and Kumar is an unemployed slacker who still lives in a cloud of marijuana smoke. Garces isn’t in it that much, but she still looks totally hot. The guys’ old neighbors, the two Jewish stoners (Thomas and Krumholtz) make a return appearance. Harold’s business colleague/new best friend is Todd (Lennon), an uptight dork and father of the drug-taking baby girl. Both Todd and Adrian are total d-bags. Harold and Kumar belong together. They are as perfect a match as ice cream and sprinkles. Of course, Neil Patrick Harris is still a complete scumbag but it wouldn’t be the same without him.
A movie like A Very Harold & Kumar 3-D Christmas doesn’t need to be analyzed. I’m not even sure if a traditional review should be applied to it. H&K have their fans and they’ll go to see it regardless of what any critic says. If you like the first two, there’s no reason you won’t like the third one too. It’s the first Christmas-themed stoner movie I’ve ever seen. It makes me think about the reception a Cheech & Chong holiday comedy would have gotten about 30 years ago.
A Very Harold & Kumar 3-D Christmas is the crudest, rudest, rowdiest and most irreverent movie of the year. Many people might find the premise and the content extremely offensive. That’s the damn point! Teens and college students are going to love it. You will probably find yourself laughing albeit for all the wrong reasons. I can think about this movie’s highlights (or lowlights depending on how you look at it) while those annoying Christmas commercials are shown non-stop for the next two months (UGH!).
