All I Want for Christmas (1991) Paramount/Comedy RT: 92 minutes Rated G (one mildly offensive term) Director: Robert Lieberman Screenplay: Thom Eberhardt and Richard Kramer Music: Bruce Broughton Cinematography: Robbie Greenberg Release date: November 8, 1991 (US) Starring: Harley Jane Kozak, Jamey Sheridan, Ethan Randall, Thora Birch, Kevin Nealon, Lauren Bacall, Leslie Nielsen, Andrea Martin, Amy Oberer. Box Office: $14.8M (US)
Rating: **
The good news is All I Want for Christmas is at least watchable. The bad news is it doesn’t get any better than that although I suppose this could be considered good news as well. It could have been terrible.
If All I Want for Christmas looks like a quickie production, it’s only because it was. Originally slated for a Christmas ’92 release, new Paramount chairman (and former NBC executive) Brandon Tartikoff rushed it into production with the goal of a November ’91 opening. It started filming in July and wrapped six weeks later. It was then hurried through post so it would be ready to go on Nov. 8. It was filmed just like a TV movie which explains why it plays like something you’d watch on one of the cable channels. I kept waiting for the commercial breaks. There’s certainly nothing theatrical about it unless you count co-star Lauren Bacall. She’s one of the movie’s only bright spots. The rest is meh.
Hallie O’Fallon (Birch, Hocus Pocus) wants only one thing for Christmas. She wants her divorced parents to get back together. So she does what any 7YO would do at this time of year. She asks Santa Claus to make it happen. And not just any Santa Claus, she goes right to the top and talks to the one at Macy’s. Where else would the real Santa hold court, right? Sounds like this kid watched Miracle on 34th Street a few times.
Although Hallie’s older brother Ethan (Randall, Dutch) tells her not to get her hopes up, he’d kind of like to see them back together too. Mom’s boyfriend Tony (Nealon, SNL) is a humorless yuppie bore. The kids would be much happier if Mom (Kozak, Parenthood) reconciled with Dad (Sheridan, The Ice Storm) who still loves his ex-wife. After learning their mother intends to marry Tony, the kids devise a plan to get them back together by Christmas Day. Ethan enlists the help of Stephanie (Oberer), the first girl he’s ever liked in that special way.
It bears mentioning Dad owns and operates a diner. The kids enjoy working there during visitations with their father. Uh, has he ever heard of child labor laws? What if somebody from Family Services strolls in and sees a 7YO girl waiting tables? He’s looking at a whole world of legal and custody problems. That’s just the tip of the iceberg with the story problems.
There are many, many questions (so many!) I could ask about the kids’ plan to get their parents alone together. I could also point out any of at least a dozen plot holes. For instance, since when has a tow truck ever arrived at the promised time? It’s the part of the plan involving getting Tony out of the way. Ethan arranges for his car to be towed from in front of the diner. That is, after he and Hallie lock him in the back of a freezing ice cream truck conveniently making a delivery on Christmas Eve. The timing works out perfectly, too perfectly to be believed. So many things could have gone wrong, but they don’t.
Here’s another thing. How do the adults not realize something suspicious is going on? What kid asks to sleep over at a friend’s house on Christmas Eve? For that matter, why do they let the kids (the older ones anyway) come and go as they please? Aren’t they the least bit worried about them wandering the streets of New York City alone? Ethan keeps an eye on his little sister, warning her a few times to not go off by herself. It doesn’t stop her from making a quick trip back to Macy’s to talk to Santa again. In any event, the idea of kids being clever enough to pull off complicated schemes without their parents’ knowledge is one those things you just have to accept without question, especially when it happens at Christmas, a time for miracles.
What makes All I Want for Christmas tolerable is an endearing performance from Birch. There’s no two ways about it, that kid is a regular little charmer. She can also be quite the little drama queen when she wants to be. Look at the way she feigns sleep when her mother gets into bed with her at the father’s apartment. I also like the sweet relationship between Hallie and her brother. He really looks after her while the parents deal with their own issues. Ethan genuinely cares about his sister; it’s nice to see that in a movie.
Of course, things really come alive when Bacall is on screen. The veteran actress plays the sassy, level-headed grandmother who used to be in show business. In one scene, she belts out a nice rendition of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” in a duet with Birch at a Christmas party. It’s always awesome to see an old school movie star like Bacall in front of the camera again. Her presence might attract a few curious retirees who remember her glory days. Randall isn’t too bad as Ethan. He’s a lot less annoying than he was in Dutch. His teen romance with Oberer is sweet enough. Kozak and Sheridan are fine as the divorced parents. Nielsen does okay in his few scenes as the Macy’s Santa.
All is merry and bright in All I Want for Christmas. It culminates in a predictably happy and madcap ending that includes a pregnant relative (Martin, Black Christmas) going into labor on Christmas morning. It’s a pleasant enough little movie, but I don’t see where it will have a lot of appeal to younger viewers. It’s rated G, so some parents will surely show up with their little ones in tow, but will they like it? I think they’d probably rather watch Home Alone or How the Grinch Stole Christmas again than this forgettable holiday comedy. Either way, it makes for acceptable viewing on a Sunday afternoon when it’s too cold to play outside. You won’t mind watching it, but you won’t it remember come Christmas the following year.
