Going Ape! (1981) Paramount/Comedy RT: 87 minutes Rated PG (language, some violence) Director: Jeremy Joe Kronsberg Screenplay: Jeremy Joe Kronsberg Music: Elmer Bernstein Cinematography: Frank V. Phillips Release date: April 10, 1981 (US) Cast: Tony Danza, Jessica Walter, Stacey Nelkin, Danny DeVito, Bobby Berosini’s Orangutans, Art Metrano, Frank Sivero, Rick Hurst, Howard Mann, Joseph Maher, Leon Askin, Jacquelyn Hyde, Merie Earle. Box Office: $5.5M (US)
Rating: ** ½
Get ready for a multiple choice question. What is the significance of the number 81?
- a) It’s the year the comedy Going Ape! was released
- b) It’s the average IQ of the human characters in Going Ape!
- c) It’s the maximum IQ of the target audience member for Going Ape!
- d) All of the above
Like the movie in question, the answer is a total no-brainer (d, of course). Going Ape! is moronic beyond belief. It’s populated by morons which is perfectly appropriate considering it’s obviously made for morons. It’s the kind of movie made exclusively for Saturday kiddie matinees because no adult in their right mind would to opt to see it voluntarily. I’ll grant there are a lot of adults not in their right minds running loose in society, but probably not enough to justify nighttime showings.
The simple-minded story centers on Foster (Danza, Taxi), the wayward son of an eccentric circus owner who chose not to follow in his father’s footsteps. When his father dies, he’s shocked to find out he inherited his father’s most prized possessions, a trio of orangutans- four if you count Danny DeVito’s character Lazlo, the Italian-speaking primate caretaker. If he takes good care of them for two years, he will inherit $5 million. If he fails in any way, the money will go to the local zoological society instead.
Naturally, this causes problems for Foster. When he moves the orangutans (and Lazlo) into his apartment, his girlfriend Cynthia (Nelkin, Halloween III) moves out. When he’s not engaged in some form of monkey business, he tries to win her back much to the annoyance of her snobby, upper-class mother Fiona (Walter, Play Misty for Me).
Meanwhile, the greedy head of the zoological society (Maher, Heaven Can Wait) puts it on one of his underlings to see to it they get the $5M. He hires a couple of inept hitmen, Joey (Metrano, Police Academy 2 & 3) and Bad Habit (Sivero, Goodfellas), to deal with the problem. Each time, their attempts are foiled by the apes. True to form, Going Ape! culminates in a big madcap chase between the good guys and the bad guys involving disguises, guns, car crashes, everybody running amok in a hospital and one of the simian characters tied to a log on an electric sawmill machine.
If there’s ever been an instance of stupidity caught on film, Going Ape! is surely it. It’s as mindless as mindless entertainment comes. I literally felt IQ points draining away as I gave up 87 minutes of my life on this foolishness. It’s dumb enough to confound the most intellectual beings among us as to why it’s supposed to be funny.
Now I’m no dummy. I pride myself in being reasonably intelligent. I don’t suffer fools gladly. As such, I should have zero tolerance for the human idiots that populate Going Ape! I shouldn’t be laughing at their shenanigans, tomfoolery and monkey business. Yet I did. It would be bad enough if I laughed only once or twice; it would be one or two times too many. It’s worse, I laughed several times. Either I’m not as intelligent as I think or I need psychiatric help. [Dramatic pause] After careful thought, I’ve decided not to pursue that line of thought.
Written and directed by Jeremy Joe Kronsberg, the fellow who wrote the Clint Eastwood-Clyde classic Every Which Way But Loose, Going Ape! has an unusually strong cast. Danza, who worked with the lead orangutan a second time in Cannonball Run II, is a likable guy. You really want to see his character prevail in the end if for no other reason than to stick it to his five horrible sisters. I couldn’t help but wonder if they were part of the freak show. Thankfully, we never see them again after the will reading. Nelkin, an actress I’ve always liked, is cute and perky. I will never understand why she didn’t become a bigger star. Walter just seems resigned to play second banana to her simian co-stars. A lot of the time, it’s hard to tell the difference between the apes and DeVito’s character. The actor deservedly received a Razzie nomination for his embarrassing performance (he lost to Steve Forrest in Mommie Dearest).
As bad as DeVito is in Going Ape!, he comes off as Olivier when compared to Metrano and Sivero as the incompetent hitmen. They’re portrayed as stupid, spaghetti-slurping Italians who can barely put one foot in front of the other without causing a catastrophe. I am astonished that the Italian Anti-Defamation League didn’t have anything to say about this depiction of Italians. Then again, why would they waste their time and breath on a movie this inconsequential?
I don’t know why, but I can’t bring myself to hate Going Ape! Maybe it’s my sense of nostalgia for the movies of my misspent youth. I could also blame it on my love of animal performers. It’s even possible I appreciate the innocence of the thing. To its credit, it doesn’t wallow in jokes about orangutan poop or bestiality. The closest it comes to something like that is the female ape’s crush on Danza’s character. Here’s the bottom line, Going Ape! is silly. It’s too silly to be taken seriously as cinema or art. It’s just a dopey little movie aimed at kids and morons. I can’t bring myself to condemn it. Criticize it, that I can do. Condemn it, never.
