Gorp (1980)    American International/Comedy    RT: 90 minutes    Rated R (language, crude humor, nudity, sexual content/references, comic violence, drug and alcohol use by teens)    Director: Joseph Ruben    Screenplay: Jeffrey Konvitz    Music: Paul Dunlap    Cinematography: Michel Hugo    Release date: May 1, 1980 (US)    Cast: Michael Lembeck, Dennis Quaid, Philip Casnoff, Fran Drescher, David Huddleston, Rosanna Arquette, Lisa Shure, Debi Richter, Mark Deming, James Greenleaf, Peter Marc, David Birnbrey, Vincent Bufano, Curt Ayres, Steve Bonino, Richard Beauchamp, Glenn Super, Lou Wagner, Robert Trebor, Dale Robinette, John Reilly, Julius Harris, Bill Kirchenbauer, DeWayne Jessie, Douglas Dirkson, Rudy Diaz, Judith Drake, Janet Sarno, Robert Elston, Four Scott, Shirley Gunther, Marla Silverman, Fred Hinds, Pete Robinson.    Box Office: N/A

Rating: ***

 The official definition of “gorp” is “a mixture of dried fruits and nuts eaten as a snack food by hikers and campers”. It’s an acronym for granola, oats, raisins and peanuts or good ol’ raisins and peanuts. Whatever way you look at it, it has only a tenuous connection to the events in Gorp, a low-budget horny teenager comedy in the vein of Animal House and Meatballs. Wholesome activities like hiking and camping are the last things on the young minds of the staff at Camp Oskemo. They’re inclined towards more debauched endeavors like sex, drugs, food fights, panty raids, explosions and destruction of property. To the average 80s male teen, these are the things that make life worth living.

 I remember when Gorp first came out. It was yet another title that instantly made every parent’s “NO WAY!” list. I was 12 and just finishing sixth grade. Of course, I wanted to see it and wasn’t allowed. None of my classmates were either. Looking back, it has me thinking about the logistical hoops a kid had to jump through to sneak into an R-rated movie. Such an undertaking entailed lying to your parents about what movie you’re seeing, enlisting a reliable friend to back you up, hanging out in front of the theater asking adults to get you in while staying out of the box office cashier’s line of vision, not capturing the attention of the overzealous usher hoping to make assistant manager by rousting kids, hoping to God you’re not seen by somebody who knows your parents and keeping it a secret from your tattletale younger sibling. My friend Bill and I became quite adept at this. We NEVER got caught. Our victories include Joysticks, Spring Break, Screwballs, My Tutor and Private School. It’s different today. All it takes is a few keystrokes to access cinematic forbidden fruit.

 Directed by Joseph Ruben (Sleeping with the Enemy), Gorp trains its focus on the wild shenanigans of the wait staff at a Catskills summer camp that caters to rich Jewish kids. Before I continue, I’d like to point out there’s not much in the way of an actual plot. It’s more like a loose collection of plot threads only some of which are resolved. Any one of them could have been the main focus of Gorp and it wouldn’t have made the slightest bit of difference. Storyline is of little importance in a comedy geared towards the summertime drive-in crowd, most of whom are too busy making out with their dates to notice such subtleties. You know who else won’t notice or care? The 15YO boys that sneak downstairs in the middle of the night to watch it on cable without their parents’ knowledge, that’s who! As long as there’s plenty of naked boobs and gross humor, they’re happy.

 Instead of the usual plot description, I’ll describe the main goings-on in Gorp. In what can only be described as a lowbrow take on Upstairs, Downstairs, there’s an ongoing rivalry between the senior and junior waiters on the upper and lower levels of the cabin. The two head waiters, Kavell (Lembeck, Kaptain Kool & the Kongs) and Bergman (Casnoff, Message from Space) try to score with prudish counselor Judy (Shure, Breaking Away). Slutty Jewish counselor Evie (Drescher, The Nanny) makes a bet with the guys involving attempts at seducing the camp rabbi Blowitz (Trebor, 52 Pick-Up) and the camp nurse (Drake, Angel Heart) who looks like a cross between Nurse Ratched and The Thing (from the Fantastic Four). Naïve Jewish princess Judy (Arquette, Desperately Seeking Susan) and Puerto Rican poor guy Ramirez (Beauchamp, Deadly Force) fall in love over the objection of her snobby prejudiced parents. The mean owner of the camp, mostly referred to as “Walrus” (Huddleston, Blazing Saddles), hates the waiters and wants them to suffer. He has them watched and levies huge fines when they break the rules. The waiters retaliate by creating chaos on Parent’s Weekend with speed-laced oatmeal and a porno movie. The finale, a huge skirmish between the two sets of waiters and the girls fed up with their antics, features lots of exploding fireworks, a tank and an atomic bomb that won’t go off despite the efforts of Quaid’s unhinged character.

 The characters in Gorp are the usual collection of degenerates, psychos, slobs, nerds and idiots, all of them horny. We also get a vampire, chronic masturbator, crazed military type (Quaid, The Big Easy) and a guy who lives in a bathroom stall. The funny thing about the vampire is that nobody ever acknowledges it or seems to even notice it. The kitchen staff is comprised of a big black head cook (Harris, Live and Let Die), a gay assistant (Jessie, Otis Day from Animal House) dressed in pink, a religious freak, a Native American and a wino. We also get characters named “Bats***“ (Bonino, The Kids from Caper) and Blowitz. Other familiar faces include James Greenleaf (Joysticks), Debi Richter (Hot Moves) and Curt Ayres (Midnight Madness).

 As you can see, Gorp isn’t exactly Shakespearean drama. It scores zero points for originality. It’s your basic summertime raunchy teen comedy. It’s gross, vulgar and moronic. The humor is mainly of the crude variety. Quaid’s character “Mad Grossman” is likely the inspiration for Tackleberry from the Police Academy movies. He’s a total loon. He runs around terrorizing campers, counselors and co-workers alike with his delusion that he’s in a Marine boot camp. At the end, the gang says goodbye to Walrus by mooning him from the departing camp bus. All of this equals business as usual for the genre. Now here’s the damnest thing about Gorp. If taken on its own low terms, it’s actually pretty funny.

 I ended up renting Gorp from West Coast Video in May ’86. It didn’t really register with me at the time; I guess I wasn’t in the right frame of mind. Repeat viewings over the years helped me develop a fondness for this cheap, crass comedy that no person in their right mind should enjoy. It’s a good thing I’m not in my right mind; I have the medical records to prove it too. I like it. It’s a damn sight better than many of today’s teen comedies. It’s unclean which goes a long way with me. It’s not especially well made. Ah, who am I kidding? It’s very badly made. Some scenes are too busy and overcrowded. The notion of acting is non-existent. It aims low and hits the mark every time. I DON’T CARE! It makes me laugh.

 It’s interesting to note that Gorp is the penultimate film of American International which became Filmways Pictures shortly thereafter. It’s also interesting that it’s directed by Joseph Ruben who would go on to varying degrees of success with movies like Dreamscape, The Stepfather, True Believer, Sleeping with the Enemy, The Good Son and Money Train. Prior to Gorp, he directed The Pom Pom Girls and Joyride.

Not too many people remember or know of Gorp today. It’s largely forgotten except by those who live for cheap exploitation movies. It’s definitely that! I miss the days when such movies played in respectable theaters. They were fun and had a devoted audience. Gorp isn’t the greatest movie ever made. It’s far, FAR from it! It is, however, an enjoyably sleazy comedy best watched late at night with the sound turned down low so you don’t wake up the parentals.