Ski Patrol (1990) Triumph/Comedy RT: 91 minutes Rated PG (language, suggestive content) Director: Richard Correll Screenplay: Steven Long Mitchell and Craig W. Van Sickle Music: Bruce Miller Cinematography: John M. Stephens Release date: January 12, 1990 (US) Cast: Roger Rose, Yvette Nipar, T.K. Carter, Leslie Jordan, Paul Feig, Sean Gregory Sullivan, Tess, George Lopez, Corby Timbrook, Stephen Hytner, Ray Walston, Martin Mull, Deborah Rose, Rascal, Beirne Chislom, Jim Allman. Box Office: $8.5M (US)
Rating: ***
Producer Paul Maslansky will always be associated with the Police Academy movies, a franchise he oversaw until it breathed its last breath ten years after the first one struck box office gold. After the sixth one (aka City Under Siege) bombed, he turned his attention to the ski slopes in hopes of starting a whole new comedy franchise. Hello, Ski Patrol!
It’s kind of like Police Academy on skis with bits of Meatballs, Animal House and Hot Dog…The Movie thrown in for good measure. The action centers on a group of rowdy ski patrol bums who have worked at Snowy Peaks for many years. The plot is the no-brainer of all no-brainers. A greedy land developer (Mull, Clue) wants to acquire the property and open up a luxury ski resort. He hires snobby ski instructor Lance (Timbrook, The Glass Shield) and his flunkies to commit acts of sabotage that will cause rightful owner Pops (Walston, Fast Times at Ridgemont High) to lose his lease. It’s up to ski patrol leader Jerry (Rose, Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives) and his friends to see it doesn’t happen. In other words, it’s the slobs against the snobs.
It sounds like a hundred other comedies, right? It does and it is. There’s nothing original about Ski Patrol; however, I won’t be slamming it because there’s no reason for it. It’s actually quite harmless. It’s an amusing piece aimed at preteens with its slapstick comedy and displays of skiing and snowboarding. Despite its influences, Ski Patrol stays well within the bounds of its PG rating. There’s no nudity or overly crude humor. It has only a smattering of bad language and the mildest of innuendo. It’s an ideal choice for a kid’s first trip to the movies without an adult.
Let’s meet the characters that populate Ski Patrol. Jerry has a crush on Pops’ niece, fellow patrol member Ellen (Nipar, Terminal Entry). Resident cool black dude Iceman (Carter, Doctor Detroit) is a talented singer as exemplified by his performances of “Do You Love Me”, “Sea Cruise” and “Dancing in the Streets” (the latter at a talent show). Stanley (future Bridesmaids director Feig) is the token klutz assigned to shovel duty after not making the squad…. again. Eddie (comedian Lopez before he was famous) is an explosives expert. Tiana (Tess, The Opposite Sex and How to Live with Them) is an exchange patroller from Bratislava. Their supervisor is diminutive Murray (Jordan, Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday), a stickler for rules and regulations. They spend a great deal of time dealing with Suicide (Sullivan, Wayne’s World), a reckless daredevil with multiple personalities. Throw in a tough forest ranger (Deborah Rose, American Drive-In) and a bulldog named Dumpster (canine actor Rascal) and you’ve got one crazy line-up of kooky characters.
There are many chuckles to be had in Ski Patrol. Like a certain group of nutty cops, they do love a good prank. Some of them give Murray growth pills and go to extraordinary lengths to convince him they’re working. Aside from that, the usual antics abound. Innocent skiers get knocked over. Skiers crash into stuff. Jerry and the Snowy Peaks crowd crash a party at a nearby upscale resort. When Lance has one of the patrollers arrested on bogus charges, the others come up with a plan to raise bail. It involves a talent show and a secret weapon. It turns out Stanley has a knack for busting moves on the dance floor.
The biggest names in the cast are Walston and Mull and while do they do an adequate job; we know they’ve done better. It doesn’t matter though. They’re having fun and so is everybody else in Ski Patrol. Why burst their bubble by critiquing their performances? That would be like talking about the acting in a Police Academy movie. Nobody expects Oscar-level work in movies like Ski Patrol.
The director of Ski Patrol is one Richard Correll who works primarily in television. He’s done episodes of Full House, Perfect Strangers, Family Matters and Fuller House. This is his one and only theatrical effort. Overall, it’s not bad. Ski Patrol is amusing and dumb in equal measures. It goes without saying it’s entirely predictable. We know from frame one how things will turn out in the end. So what? It’s so good-natured and harmless, you just go with the flow. Sometimes we all need a good mindless comedy to take our minds off the ills of real life. Remember, man does not live by bread alone. Variety is the spice of life. Stupid is as stupid does. And the capital of Nebraska is Lincoln*.
* = Hats off to anybody that can identify the source of this statement.
