The Nun (2018) Warner Bros./Horror RT: 96 minutes Rated R (terror, violence, disturbing/bloody images) Director: Corin Hardy Screenplay: Gary Dauberman Music: Abel Korzeniowski Cinematography: Maxime Alexandre Release date: September 7, 2018 (US) Cast: Demian Bichir, Taissa Farmiga, Jonas Bloquet, Bonnie Aarons, Ingrid Bisu, Charlotte Hope, Sandra Teles, August Maturo, Jack Falk, Lynnette Gaza, Ani Sava, Michael Smiley, Gabrielle Downey. Box Office: $117.4M (US)/$366M (World)
Rating: **
Quick, somebody call the movie exterminator! The new horror movie The Nun is absolutely infested with clichés. The infestation is so bad; it renders the movie powerless to do anything other than bore the audience to death. You know a horror movie doesn’t work when it’s more effective at putting the viewer to sleep than scare the pants off him/her. Out of professionalism, I fought to stay awake during The Nun. It turns out I needn’t have bothered; I wouldn’t have missed much of anything anyway.
It didn’t have to be that way. The Nun, yet another spin-off of The Conjuring, actually starts off pretty good. It opens in an abbey in Romania circa 1952 where two nuns are attacked by an unseen presence. One gets killed; the other takes her own life by hanging herself out a window. For all you non-Catholics out there, suicide is one of the biggest mortal sins a person can commit. Word of the incident gets to the Vatican who send demon hunter Father Burke (Bichir, Alien: Covenant) to investigate. He’s ordered to bring Sister Irene (Farmiga, American Horror Story), a young novitiate about to take her final vows, to aid in his investigation. Why? It has something to do with her having “visions” as a child.
The two make their way to the small Romanian village where they implore a farmer, a French transplant appropriately called “Frenchie” (Bloquet, Elle), to take them to the abbey, a place the villagers see as cursed. It was he who found the body and moved it to the icehouse. Against his better judgment, he takes them there. If nothing else, The Nun is thick with atmosphere. A shroud of fog lingers around the abbey’s grounds which are covered with makeshift crosses. Inside, it’s a labyrinth of dark, candlelit hallways where an evil presence lurks. The nuns pray continuously to keep it at bay.
Up until now, The Nun isn’t too bad. It goes downhill quickly after Burke and Irene arrive at the abbey. The evil presence to which I referred is Valak, the demonic nun introduced in The Conjuring 2. She shows up a lot. It seems like anytime somebody wanders the hallways, she’s right behind them or ducking around a corner. The spectral nun makes so many appearances; I had to resist the urge to shout “There’s that news van again!” (Philadelphians will get the reference). It happens so often, it ceases to be even a little bit scary. Anyway, this is one of the movie’s biggest problems. Alas, it’s not the only one.
Earlier I referred to the movie’s overreliance on clichés. This, in and of itself, isn’t a bad thing. I mean, the first Conjuring movie wasn’t exactly original. It borrowed motifs from The Amityville Horror, The Exorcist and Poltergeist. But that movie had an experienced director (James Wan of Saw and Insidious) at the helm whereas Corin Hardy (The Hallow) is still relatively new to the game. He doesn’t yet possess the skill to make old ideas seem fresh. Here, they feel as stale as two-day-old bread. For example, Father Burke still feels tremendous guilt over the possessed boy who died while he was performing an exorcism on him. Here’s another. Who saw the 1983 horror movie The Keep? Remember how the castle was actually built to keep an evil entity trapped inside? The abbey in The Nun serves a similar purpose but thanks to WWII bombing raids, the evil has been unleashed. These are but two of the overly familiar story elements you’ll notice in The Nun.
The Nun is dull, plodding, predictable and redundant. Every attempt at a jump-scare fails, one in particular because it was shown in the trailer which has run ad nauseam since mid-summer. That was a mistake on the studio’s part because it could have been the movie’s most effective “BOO!” scene. The Nun moves at a deathly slow pace. The non-use of a score during supposedly suspenseful scenes only highlights the boring nature of the movie. The CGI effects are nothing new. Neither are the sudden loud sounds that accompany the ineffectual jump-scares. This movie recycles everything it can. Is this what they call a “green movie”?
SEMI-SPOILER ALERT! The movie’s only plot twist will come as no surprise since we already know Sister Irene has visions. Speaking of her, the casting of Taissa Farmiga is the only clever touch; she’s the younger sister of Conjuring star Vera Farmiga. BTW, don’t read too much into this bit of casting. Bichir looks and acts like he’s bored. Taissa gives a passable performance. But who cares about the acting? It’s not like we’re talking about a serious Oscar contender here. What audiences want from a movie like The Nun is a scary time at the cinema. They’ve come to be frightened not lulled to sleep. This one had potential. Like I said, it has atmosphere to boot, but nothing of interest happens within it. In the end, The Nun is an unholy bore. How many Hail Marys should the makers say before they can be absolved?
