Staying Alive (1983)    Paramount/Drama-Musical    RT: 96 minutes    Rated PG (some language, suggestive content)    Director: Sylvester Stallone    Screenplay: Sylvester Stallone and Norman Wexler    Music: Frank Stallone and The Bee Gees    Cinematography: Nick McLean    Release date: July 15, 1983 (US)    Cast: John Travolta, Cynthia Rhodes, Finola Hughes, Steve Inwood, Julie Bovasso, Charles Ward, Norma Donaldson, Jesse Doran, Joyce Hyser, Frank Stallone, Kurtwood Smith.    Box Office: $65M (US)/$127M (World)

Rating: *

 More like Barely Alive. This sweaty, sanitized sequel to Saturday Night Fever is little more than a collection of music videos strung together by the barest of plots. It completely lacks the grit and realism that defined the hit 1977 film about a teenager living in Brooklyn. It replaces them with a lot of flash and dazzle that amounts to nothing. This apparently didn’t matter to audiences who made a $65M hit out of this dumb, cliché-ridden musical drama about making it as a dancer.

 John Travolta reprises his role as Tony Manero, now a Manhattanite working his butt off as a dance instructor and waiter at a club while looking for his first big break in show business. He’s a changed young man since his days as king of the discotheque in Bay Ridge. He no longer drinks, smokes or swears; a decision I suspect motivated more by the studio’s desire for a PG rating than his personal well-being.

 The only thing that hasn’t changed is how Tony treats women. He has a nice girlfriend Jackie (Rhodes, Flashdance), a fellow dancer and rock singer, who truly loves him in spite of his dismissive attitude towards her. He becomes smitten by Laura (Hughes, General Hospital), the lead dancer in a show that has Jackie in the chorus. She’s British, gorgeous, icy and way out of Tony’s league. That doesn’t stop him from pursuing her. Much to his shock, it’s she who seduces him, coldly telling him, “Everybody uses everybody” after a one-night stand. Tony continues to chase Laura, leaving Jackie hurt and justifiably angry.

 The actual “plot” of Staying Alive is Tony’s desire to be a star on Broadway. He finally gets his shot when he’s cast as one of the dancers in a show called Satan’s Alley that also features Laura in the lead. Not coincidentally, Jackie is in the show too. Tony decides to take a shot at replacing the male lead who just isn’t cutting it. When the temperamental director (Inwood, Fame) gives him the part, Laura is less than pleased.

 The finale, of course, is opening night. It has to be seen to be believed and even then, you still might not. The director describes Satan’s Alley as “a man’s descent into hell”. He isn’t kidding. It’s positively ludicrous. It more closely resembles a Las Vegas stage show than a Broadway play. It’s filled with fire, ice, smoke, flashing lights, laser beams and scantily clad dancers. It ends with Tony doing an improvised solo that doesn’t look half as good as his big solo moment in Saturday Night Fever (“You Should Be Dancing”). Naturally, the audience loves it.

 Directed by Sylvester Stallone (Rocky II, III & IV), Staying Alive is a slickly presented but empty vehicle that doesn’t even come close to recapturing the greatness of the original. SNF gave you a real sense of place and person. Tony Manero was a young Italian-American from the working-class neighborhood of Bay Ridge. We get to see him interact with his typical Italian family and hang out with his immature friends. We get a feel for the neighborhood, the people who inhabit it and their attitudes. More importantly, we understand how it shaped Tony as an individual. We get none of that in Staying Alive. Well, almost none. There is the scene where he returns to his childhood home and apologizes to his mother (Bovasso) for his behavior when he lived there. BTW, what happened to the rest of his family? I’m guessing that his father died since his mother attends his debut show alone.

 The original SNF wasn’t just one of the biggest hit movies of 1977; it’s one of the best-selling soundtracks of all time. The two-record set sold over 40 million copies. It stayed on the Billboard charts for 120 weeks, 24 of them at the top. It made big stars of The Bee Gees who performed a total of seven songs. Several tracks- “Stayin’ Alive”, “How Deep Is Your Love”, “Night Fever” and “If I Can’t Have You”- became number one hits. Others like “Disco Inferno”, “Boogie Shoes” and “More Than a Woman” got heavy airplay. The soundtrack, which includes five new songs by The Bee Gees, produced only one hit, “Far from Over” by Frank Stallone (Sly’s baby brother). It’s a good song. It’s the only one that’s memorable. The rest are completely forgettable.

 The only decent performance in Staying Alive comes from Rhodes as Tony’s patient, faithful girlfriend. She stands by her man until she can stand no more. The scene where she breaks up with him is both heartbreaking and satisfying. That she didn’t dump his dumb ass sooner is a testament to the goodness of her heart. Rhodes is an appealing actress and one hell of a great dancer. She gets off the movie’s best line when she replies to Tony’s comment about the way Laura talks with this retort: “An accent doesn’t make someone intelligent, Tony. If it did, you’d be Einstein.”

 Hughes, on the other hand, is thoroughly irritating as the queen bitch diva who’s really no better than Tony with how she uses people. She definitely looks the part, but her acting leaves a lot to be desired. She’s never convincing at any point. You can see she’s not putting forth much in the way of effort. It certainly doesn’t help that her character lacks depth. We know nothing about Laura other than she’s rich and manipulative.

 Travolta’s career hadn’t fully recovered from the failure of Moment by Moment by the time he made Staying Alive. He didn’t have the same level as box office clout as he once did. He was obviously hoping for a big comeback when he signed on for this lackluster sequel. He tries, but there’s not much he can do with what little the screenplay gives him to work with. His character no longer feels authentic. He’s not all that interesting anymore. Tony is no longer a character; he’s a walking, talking cliché. So is everybody around him. His whole life is a cliché. So are the lives of everyone around him. His character arc with the predictable transformation is totally predictable and formulaic.

 Paramount’s decision to release a PG version of the R-rated Saturday Night Fever was a brilliant marketing strategy. It enabled Travolta’s underage fans to finally see him strut his stuff in that polyester white suit (which makes a cameo appearance in Staying Alive). That’s the version I first saw. I liked it then, but I was 11. Once I finally saw the uncut version, I never wanted to set eyes on the PG one again. Not wanting to lose the valuable under-17 demographic, the studio insisted on a PG for Staying Alive. Okay, the kiddies can get in, great. The problem is the absence of realism. It feels more like a fairy tale than a continuation of SNF. It was the wrong way to go, creatively speaking.

 The only time Staying Alive truly comes to life is in the final scene when Tony struts down Broadway while “Stayin’ Alive” plays on the soundtrack. In it, he has the same swagger and confidence as he did at the beginning of the first movie. It’s the only time I felt the sequel’s connection to the original. It doesn’t make up for the lameness of the rest of the movie, but it’s something.

 There’s no two ways about it, Staying Alive is a bad movie. It would be a bad movie even if it wasn’t a sequel to one of the most iconic films of the 70s. However, it’s one of those bad movie that’s fun to watch and snicker at. It’s so wrong-headed and dumb, you have to laugh, especially when it gets to Satan’s Alley. OMG! It’s right up there with Springtime for Hitler from The Producers. I’ll say this for Staying Alive, it’s more watchable than a lot of today’s movies, good or bad. Maybe there is some life in this DOA dud after all.

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