They Saved Hitler’s Brain (1963)    Crown International/Action-Sci-Fi-Horror-Thriller    RT: 74 minutes    No MPAA Rating (violence, mildly disturbing images, mild sexual innuendo)    Director: David Bradley    Screenplay: Steve Bennett and Peter Miles    Music: Don Hulette    Cinematography: Stanley Cortez    Release date: N/A    Cast: Walter Stocker, Audrey Caire, Carlos Rivas, John Holland, Marshall Reed, Scott Peters, Keith Dahle, Dani Lynn, Nestor Paiva, Pedro Rigas, Bill Freed.    Box Office: N/A

Rating: ***

 This movie was first released in 1963 as Madmen of Mandoras. It didn’t become They Saved Hitler’s Brain until six years later when about 20 minutes worth of new footage was shot and edited into the pre-existing B-movie about a new Nazi uprising. I didn’t know this until I looked it up on Wikipedia. It’s definitely interesting, but I prefer to think of it as They Saved Hitler’s Brain. It’s the better title for this hilarious mess of a sci-fi-horror-action-thriller.

 That’s the official classification for this movie, but I see it as an unintentional comedy in the vein of Robot Monster and The Brain That Wouldn’t Die. Shot in black and white, it actually has a pretty good plot if you like cheesy exploitation movies with goofy titles, the kind you’d find playing on a triple feature at a rural drive-in theater on a sweltering summer night. It’s pure junk, it has absolutely no redeeming social value, but it’s also a hell of a lot of fun.

 It’s best to watch a movie like They Saved Hitler’s Brain on its own terms. You can’t take it seriously for a second. Film critics probably shouldn’t even try to review it; it’s obvious that they’re going to hate it. Me, I love the title. It just calls out to the more daring movie lovers to give it a chance. I’ve watched it twice in the past week and I’m giving serious consideration to inviting friends over to watch it with me one night soon. It should make for an awesome midnight movie, one that just cries out to be mocked with a whole barrage of sarcastic comments and snide remarks. Here’s my review of this cinematic non-classic and I sure hope my appreciation for it doesn’t damage my credibility as a movie critic.

 The action starts with Professor Coleman (Holland) briefing some colleagues about an undetectable nerve gas that paralyzes the brain. It seems that the good old USA has a top secret and very effective antidote for it, but they’ll have to wait until the International Chemical Warfare Conference to get a full briefing on it. A strange man attempts to see Coleman, but he’s stopped at the door by the military police. He takes off when he sees Frank Dvorak (Reed), the professor’s assistant, walking down the corridor towards the office.

 Coleman learns that his daughter Suzanne (Lynn) has been kidnapped. When he goes to her apartment to investigate, he also gets abducted by a small group of men with guns. His other daughter Kathy (Caire) is married to Phil Day (Stocker), a member of the CID (Criminal Investigation Division) branch of the government. The strange man approaches them outside their home and takes them away at gunpoint. Before he can explain himself, he gets shot and killed by the occupants of a car that pulls up next to them. Phil and Kathy learn that her father has been taken to the fictional South American country of Mandoras. Naturally, they decide to look into the matter themselves instead of getting the authorities involved.

 Upon their arrival, they’re greeted at the airport by a truly unusual welcome wagon. It consists of a man wearing shades (Rivas) who bumps into Phil, a group of shady looking men watching them from a black car and the chief of police (Paiva) who takes them to their hotel. Shortly after they check in, “Shades” pays a surprise visit and gets into a struggle with Phil who ends up getting knocked out by Kathy (she was trying to help). When Phil comes to, he learns that Shades put a book of matches in his jacket pocket at the airport, similar to the matches that they found on the strange man back in the States. He explains that there’s a huge Nazi movement in Mandoras who plan to release the aforementioned nerve gas in various parts of the country. They kidnapped Professor Coleman so they could destroy the antidote.

 I haven’t told you the best part yet. The whole thing is being orchestrated by the big guy himself, Adolf Hitler (or Mr. H as he’s known in the movie). It turns out that the rumors of his demise were greatly exaggerated. He had his head surgically removed. It’s currently being preserved in a jar hooked up to a machine. It’s very much alive as evidenced by him screaming “Mach schnell! Mach schnell!” at the top of his lungs. Oops, I forgot, nothing below the neck. So how the hell does he even speak?

 Phil and Kathy find Suzanne at a local bar right before a shoot-out goes down. Phil then gets arrested for murdering a corrupt police inspector. They’re taken to the presidential palace where they’re subjected to what film critic Roger Ebert calls “The Fallacy of the Talking Killer”. In a nutshell, that’s when the villain has the hero subdued and fully explains his plans for world domination instead of just killing him thus giving the hero ample time to devise an escape plan.

 Of course, we learn that the heroes personally know a couple of people involved with the Nazis and that some of the villains are really on their side. It all culminates in a daring escape, followed by a final showdown at a remote area. The whole time, Hitler watches from his jar in the back of a car and responds to the action with some strange and creepy facial expressions.

 There’s no two ways about it, They Saved Hitler’s Brain is one big hunk of 60s B-movie cheese. Velveeta, I should think! Directed by David Bradley (Dragstrip Riot), it’s a classic among bad movies. What I find hilarious about these B-movies is the utter chutzpah displayed by the studios when they’d release the same damn movie under different titles. What a shameless way to make money off an unsuspecting public. I LOVE IT! Sad thing is that I’d probably fall for that trick myself, but since I enjoy this kind of movie, I wouldn’t mind all that much.

 I don’t see any point in commenting on the bad acting and terrible dialogue. We all know it’s an essential part of any exploitation flick. That being said, I can safely say that Bill Freed delivers the best “head in a jar” performance that I’ve ever seen.

 They Saved Hitler’s Brain appears on many people’s worst movies list. It even took top honors in the Golden Turkey Awards book (Harry and Michael Medved, 1980) in “The Most Brainless Brain Movie of All Time” category. That’s what I call praise! That’s what I call the highest form of flattery! That’s what I call a solid recommendation! Although I risk shattering my credibility, I gave this one three stars even though it’s a terrible movie on all counts. I like it for precisely that reason. The result is a hilariously bad movie that’s a lot of fun to watch.

 In a way, I like They Saved Hitler’s Brain better than Edward D. Wood Jr.’s notorious 1959 magnum opus Plan 9 from Outer Space. It’s like a really bad James Bond adventure; the only thing missing is a mad scientist. It’s definitely worth checking out if you love bad movies. With a wild premise like this, I find it hard to believe that nobody came up with the inevitable sequel, The Revenge of Hitler’s Brain, if for no other reason than to squeeze a few more bucks out of the rubes that see these movies. Yes, I am one of those rubes. What can I say?

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