Screamboat (2025) Iconic Events/Comedy-Horror RT: 101 minutes No MPA rating (graphic bloody violence and gore, nudity, sexual content, language, drug and alcohol use) Director: Steven LaMorte Screenplay: Matthew Garcia-Dunn and Steven LaMorte Music: Yael Benamour and Charles-Henri Avelange Cinematography: Steven Della Salle Release date: April 2, 2025 (US) Cast: David Howard Thornton, Allison Pittel, Jesse Posey, Amy Schumacher, Rumi C. Jean-Louis, Jarod Lindsey, Kailey Hyman, Stephanie Bates, Savannah Whitten, Poonam Basu, Allie Seibold, Jarlath Conroy, Tyler Posey, Allyson Sereboff, Jared Johnston, Brian Quinn, Jesse Kove, Anthony E. Williams, Brian Scolaro, Tommy Bechtold, Joe DeRosa, Charles Edwin Powell, Kenneth Maharaj, Michael Leavy, Jayme Woj, Steven Della Salla, Michael Defilippis, Sarah Kopkin, Jason Lockhart.
Rating: *** ½
On January 1 of 2024, the Mickey Mouse character Steamboat Willie entered the public domain making it fair game for anybody looking to turn a cherished childhood figure into a bloodthirsty monster. They already did it with Winnie the Pooh, the Banana Splits and Popeye. Now it’s Mickey’s…. I mean, Willie’s turn. The funny thing is I don’t think Disney fans will be too outraged. Well, some of them will, but that just means they’re the wrong audience for this type of entertainment.
One day after Steamboat Willie (the first appearance of Mickey Mouse) became public property, writer-director Steven LaMorte (The Mean One) announced Screamboat, a horror version of the animated short set on the Staten Island ferry. Naturally. Where else but New York will you find a murderous two-foot rodent? He’s been hanging out in the shadows of the ferry for nearly 100 years, a fact that lends credence to the notion that New Yorkers tend not to notice strange things.
I changed things up a bit for Screamboat. There were no daytime shows at my local AMC so I had no choice but to venture out after dark to check it out. There was an added incentive. The 9pm showing included a live Q&A with actress Kailey Hyman (Terrifier 2 & 3) who plays drunken party girl Cindi. She’s a delight in person and hilarious in the film. SPOILER ALERT! She also gets one of the best kills when she’s disemboweled by a harpoon. She joked during the Q&A about hopefully making it all the way to the end of the movie someday.
The ferry is making its last run before its retirement. It’s a foggy night, but the captain still proceeds on his usual route. It’s 4:30am and the boat is loaded with weirdos including a Crazy Ralph type (Conroy, Day of the Dead) raving about the vessel being cursed. The heroine of this tale is Selena (Pittel, Stream), an aspiring shoe designer rethinking her move to NYC. She’s giving serious consideration to giving up her dream and returning to Minnesota. That’s about it for character development. LaMorte and co-writer Matthew Garcia-Dunn don’t waste too much time on non-essentials.
Willie comes out of hiding in the ferry’s boiler room and proceeds to kill off most of the 50+ passengers. He does so quite creatively. When the dust settles a bit, it’s down to Selena, deckhand-turned-acting captain Pete (Jesse Posey, Selena: The Series), EMT Amber (Schumacher, The Mean One), hulking construction guy Moses (Lindsey, The Quest) and the only kid on the boat Matteo (Jean-Louis, Hightown). They have to work together to survive until help comes (if it does).
I admit it, I absolutely LOVED Screamboat! It’s so much fun. I realize it may have a lot to do with the enthusiastic audience I saw it with. We were all having a grand old time. The kills are nice and bloody. One victim is decapitated with piano wire. A guy dressed like the Statue of Liberty gets impaled in the head with his own torch. Two girls get impaled by a forklift (a double impalement!). A man’s face is melted by hot steam. Another’s head is smashed to a bloody pulp. There’s a mass electrocution. One poor fellow loses his penis during sex. The member shows up again later in one of the film’s funniest bits. Yep, it’s a bona fide bloodbath.
It’s important to keep in mind that Screamboat is NOT meant to be taken seriously. No DUH! It’s about a killer mouse. How serious can it be? Willie is played by David Howard Thornton, a name that should be familiar to horror fans. He plays Art the Clown in the Terrifier series. Judging by the T-shirts worn by most audience members, there are a lot of Terrifier fans out there. In any event, Screamboat is as funny as it is gory. There are numerous references to other Disney properties, my favorite being Cindi losing her shoe as she’s running from Willie. If only LaMorte thought to have Willie put it back on her foot after she was dead. She and her entourage are all named after Disney princesses in case you didn’t notice. I also got a kick out of “A scream is a wish your heart makes.” Horror fans will surely notice how Screamboat also references Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989).
The special effects, a blend of green-screen and the actor wearing a costume, are a little wonky though. The size scale is somewhat off, but I do love the use of prosthetics. The gore effects, entirely practical, are terrific. I also love the use of miniatures. LaMorte made the right going choice going mostly old school here.
Screamboat benefits greatly from a game cast, all of whom are in on the joke. Thornton does a great job as Willie. He’s a killer with a killer sense of humor. After dispatching a typically loud New Yorker with a broomstick to the neck, he does a little dance holding the other half of the broom. Pittel makes a fine final girl. Hyman steals every scene she’s in. Conroy is a riot. Lindsey gets off a great Die Hard-like line near the end. You’ll know it when you hear it.
Screamboat is the third movie I saw that day, the others being Hell of a Summer and A Minecraft Movie. It’s the best film I saw that day. I know how weird that sounds, but it’s the truth. It’s a low-budget affair that a lot of people will consider trash. Well, allow me to retort by saying one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. I think you know where I stand.
