Piranha 3D (2010) Dimension/Horror RT: 88 minutes Rated R (sequences of strong bloody horror violence and gore, graphic and abundant nudity, sexual content, language, drug and alcohol abuse, partying, children in peril) Director: Alexandre Aja Screenplay: Pete Goldfinger and Josh Stolberg Music: Michael Wandmacher Cinematography: John R. Leonetti Release date: August 20, 2010 (US) Cast: Elisabeth Shue, Ving Rhames, Steven R. McQueen, Jessica Szohr, Jerry O’Connell, Brooklynn Proulx, Sage Ryan, Adam Scott, Kelly Brook, Riley Steele, Dina Meyer, Ricardo Chavira, Paul Scheer, Cody Longo, Richard Dreyfuss, Christopher Lloyd, Eli Roth. Box Office: $25M (US)/$83.1M (World)
Rating: *** ½
The supremely silly and gloriously gory Piranha 3D came out at the tail end of a summer defined by 3D movies in which the gimmick was added as an afterthought- e.g. The Last Airbender, Shrek Forever After. This one was filmed with it in mind. Due to difficulties with shooting in 3D on the water, the movie was shot in 2D and converted to 3D in post-production. It makes excellent use of the effect. Things actually come at you, piranha and various body parts mostly. Viewers are advised to check their popcorn for bloody appendages before consumption.
Directed by Alexandre Aja (High Tension, The Hills Have Eyes), Piranha 3D is also a great B-movie, the kind they don’t show in cinemas anymore. It’s a worthy follow-up to the 1978 Jaws knock-off from Joe Dante. Actually, it’s more of a remake than a sequel. Instead of genetically engineered fish, we get a prehistoric breed of piranha thought to be extinct for over two million years. It turns out they were living in an underground lake all these eons. They were freed when an earthquake hit and opened the floor of Lake Victoria. Guess what? They’re hungry!
It’s impossible not to like a movie that opens with Richard Dreyfuss (sort of) reprising his most famous character from a certain blockbuster film. Take a guess which one. Hint, it’s not the one with the UFOs. He’s out fishing on the lake when the quake hits. He falls in the water and gets devoured by the vicious swimming beasties. This is easily the coolest cameo since Bill Murray showed up in Zombieland.
It’s spring break and the Arizona resort town of Lake Victoria has been invaded by wild college students looking to party. Town sheriff Julie Forester (Shue, Adventures in Babysitting) has her hands full which is why she leaves her two kids- Laura (Proulx, The Time Traveler’s Wife) and Zane (Ryan, The Protector)- in the capable hands of her eldest Jake (McQueen, The Vampire Diaries). He’d rather be out raising hell, but Mom really needs him to step up while she deals with a bigger threat to her town than a school of flesh-eating fish.
Anybody who’s ever seen a movie like Piranha 3D knows exactly where it’s going. Eventually, they’re going to attack and create bloody bedlam as panicked swimmers try and fail to escape the jaws of death. Before that, we get the various set-ups. Jake is given the opportunity to make some money when a sleazy director (O’Connell, Stand by Me) making a Girls Gone Wild-like video hires him to show him the best spots on the lake. He’s joined by his old crush Kelly (Szohr, Gossip Girl) who wants to prove she’s just as game as the girls starring in the video. He bribes his siblings to look after themselves while he’s out enjoying himself. They decide to go fishing and end up stranded on a sandbar after their canoe floats away.
Sheriff Julie takes seismologist Novak (Scott, Step Brothers) and his team to investigate the newly formed fissure at the bottom of the lake. That’s when she learns about the piranha. They manage to capture one of the fishes and take it to retired marine biologist Carl Goodman (Lloyd, Back to the Future 1-3) who explains what they’re up against. At that point, she decides it’s time to evacuate the lake. And that’s when all bloody hell breaks loose.
The real surprise in Piranha 3D is that it’s actually a really good movie. It’s most definitely a B-movie and retains that spirit throughout, never stopping to ponder deep questions about man’s place in the universe or other existential matters. Instead, you get Ving Rhames (Pulp Fiction) pulling an outboard motor from a speed boat and using it to kill off the invading piranha. Instead of teens and twenty-somethings spouting off ironic statements about the situation, you get half-naked college girls drinking, dancing and screwing. Let me tell you, they’re all FREAKING HOT! There’s not an ordinary looking girl in the lot. There are plenty of naked boobs for teen boys to ogle. There’s even a wet T-shirt contest. Now there’s a throwback to the hedonistic 80s!
I know I had a good time watching Piranha 3D. The cast seems to be having a lot of fun too. Rhames, playing a deputy, appears to doing a variation of Marcellus Wallace. Lloyd’s character isn’t too different from Reverend Jim (from Taxi) or Dr. Emmett Brown (from Back to the Future). Shue makes a decent leading lady. She sure knows how to use a Taser and is quick with a quip- “You boys take one more step, you’ll be pissing lightning bolts into next week.” O’Connell is suitably sleazy as a filmmaker who’s definitely not Fellini. It’s clear everybody knows they’re not starring in a potential Oscar contender.
Of course, the high point of Piranha 3D is the gore. As a bona fide gorehound, I was more than satisfied with the amount of blood and body parts floating around, often just inches from my face thanks to glorious 3D. Incidentally, one of the floating appendages is exactly what you’re thinking. I felt bad for the poor dumb bastard. LOL!
Aja clearly knows his way around a horror movie. He knows his movies and understands his actors. He infuses Piranha 3D with a wicked sense of humor making it one of the most purely entertaining B-movies to come along in a while. It’s a nifty throwback to the New World films of the 70s and 80s with a few modern touches. Even better, it works equally well without the 3D. You can’t say that about Jaws 3D, am I right? It’s a great movie!
