Ghoulies (1985) Empire Pictures/Horror-Comedy RT: 81 minutes Rated PG-13 (violence, language, some sexual content, drugs) Director: Luca Bercovici Screenplay: Luca Bercovici and Jefery Levy Music: Richard Band and Shirley Walker Cinematography: Mac Ahlberg Release date: January 18, 1985 (US) Cast: Peter Liapis, Lisa Pelikan, Michael Des Barres, Jack Nance, Peter Risch, Tamara De Treaux, Scott Thomson, Ralph Seymour, Mariska Hargitay, Keith Joe Dick, David Dayan, Victoria Catlin, Charene Cathleen, Bobbie Bresee, Jamie Bronow. Box Office: $35M (US)
Rating: ** ½
The poster for Ghoulies is incredibly misleading. It shows one of the titular creatures popping out of a toilet with the tagline “They’ll get you in the end.” It looked like a B-level knock-off of Gremlins, Joe Dante’s wickedly funny hit movie from the previous summer. The timing was right, knock-offs generally follow after about six months, so you’ll forgive me if I thought that’s what Ghoulies was. It wasn’t. It has elements of comedy but it’s more of a straight-up horror movie about Satanism and malicious miniature demons. Here’s the thing though, it’s so uneven and inconsistent, it’s hard to know how to take Ghoulies from scene to scene.
I went to a Saturday matinee at a theater (the Anthony Wayne) that was usually filled with cadets from the nearby military school (Valley Forge, where 1981’s Taps was filmed). I’ll never forget seeing the Chuck Norris POW-rescue actioner Missing in Action there the previous fall; my friend, father and I were the only ones in attendance not in uniform. Anyway, the audience for Ghoulies wasn’t much different. I was just glad to be there; this particular theater isn’t just around the corner. This was long before the completion of a highway that made the trip to this theater significantly shorter and easier. It made my disappointment in Ghoulies sting all that much more. I say disappointment because I was at a loss for words when it was over. I really didn’t know what to make of it. I still think it’s a weird movie, but at least I know now what’s wrong with it.
It opens with the head of a Satanic cult, Malcolm Graves (Des Barres, Nightflyers), about to sacrifice an infant when the mother intervenes and rescues her son which ultimately costs the woman her life. Twenty-five years later, the now-grown Peter (Liapis, Starhops) has inherited his dad’s mansion, a creepy place with scary statues and somebody’s grave on the grounds. It’s also the place where Dad conducted his Satanic rituals. Peter and his girlfriend Rebecca (Pelikan, Jennifer) throw a housewarming party and invite their friends including stud Dick (played by an actor named Keith Joe Dick), spaced-out stoners Mike (Thomson, Police Academy) and Eddie (Dayan), hotties Donna (Hargitay, Law & Order: SVU) and Robin (Cathleen, Girls Just Want to Have Fun) and geeky weirdo Toad Boy (Seymour, Meatballs Part II). When things start to wind down, Peter suggests they conduct a ritual just for fun. It results in him conjuring up four little demons. He eventually becomes possessed by an evil force.
For whatever reason (human sacrifices, I think), Peter and Rebecca (who also becomes possessed after initially walking out on Peter) invite everybody back for a dinner party after which the Ghoulies start working their way through the group. Also, Dad has risen from the dead and wants to regain control of the mini-demons and the two midgets, Grizzel (Risch, Something Wicked This Way Comes) and Greedigut (Treaux, E.T.), his son conjured from Hell.
I love the name Keith Joe Dick; he sounds like a porno movie actor. Hell, his character is even named “Dick”. It’s too bad he can’t act to save his life. On the other hand, Hargitay shows the promise of the great things to come from this Emmy/Golden Globe-winning actress. I wouldn’t call her performance in Ghoulies great but you can see there’s more to her than just a pretty face. She’s clearly NOT just some random young actress plucked from the pile of unknowns who auditioned for the movie. Jack Nance (Eraserhead) shows up as Wolfgang, the caretaker who takes care of more than the property. The two attractive young leads give passable performances. Des Barres camps it up nicely as the cult leader in both forms, living and resurrected.
I like the creature effects in Ghoulies very much. They’re a combination of animatronics and stop-motion and the work of John Carl Buechler, director of Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood. One of the things I like about the movies of producer Albert Band (and his son Charles) is the effects. They’re cheap but they don’t really look cheap. These little monsters look every bit as convincing as the little furry cuties (and their slimy, ugly alter-egos) in Gremlins.
Directed by actor Luca Bercovici (Frightmare), I don’t think Ghoulies is a great flick. It’s tonally uneven and feels half-written. Things go unexplained like how the entire cult has ceased to exist when it switches to present-day. Where did they all go? You’d think a few members would still be around. The characters tend to be cartoonish. The ending is one of those “have your cake and eat it too” deals. Ghoulies is a heavily flawed movie yet it’s still kind of fun. That is, if you’re not upset or offended by Satanism. Although it’s PG-13, it doesn’t feel like the watered-down PG-13s we get today. It’s a cinematic oddity worth checking out.
