Spring Fever (1983)    Comworld Pictures/Comedy    RT: 93 minutes    Rated PG (language, crude humor, mild sexual content, drugs)    Director: Joseph L. Scanlan    Screenplay: Stuart Gillard and Fed Stefan    Music: Fred Mollin    Cinematography: Donald Wilder    Release date: March 4, 1983 (Philadelphia, PA)    Cast: Susan Anton, Frank Converse, Carling Bassett, Jessica Walter, Shawn Foltz, Stephen Shellen, Brain Crabb, Martin Schechter, David Main, Stephen Young, Maria Hontzas, Alan Fawcett, Derrick Jones, Lisa Foster, Lisa Brady.    Box Office: N/A

Rating: ***

 Even though I like Spring Fever, I must call it out for its poster art. It’s the most blatant case of misleading marketing since millionaire businessman Meshulam Riklis tried to pass off Pia Zadora (Butterfly, The Lonely Lady) as the next big movie actress. The poster shows two bikini-clad bimbos pouring beer on the crotch of some Speedo-clad himbo on a beach. What does that say to you? To me, it says teen beach party flick with lots of dirty jokes, partying and gratuitous nudity. It’s a reasonable assumption given that we’re talking about the early 80s when horny teenager flicks like Joysticks and Spring Break were popular.

 Now the big tip-off about Spring Fever should be its PG rating. That’s right, PG. The truth is that it’s NOT a horny teenager movie. It’s actually about young teenage girls competing in a major tennis tournament. The girls briefly attend a beach party at the beginning of the movie. It has a few off-color jokes like the double entendre about a boy’s frozen balls (it’s a tennis-themed movie, think about it). As for nudity and sex, there’s nothing to see save for a brief scene of implied sex (between two adults!) in the shower. Oh yeah, that well-endowed Amazonian goddess Susan Anton (Cannonball Run II) gets to shake her stuff in a couple of scenes. It’s hardly the stuff of Porky’s.

 That being said, I actually like Spring Fever. It’s a cheapie Canadian production that was filmed in ’81 under the title Sneakers. That may be the more accurate title, but it’s one that would likely attract a very limited audience of tennis fans and foot fetishists. For what it is, it’s not bad. And yes, I did see this one at the movies. Twice in fact, the second time on a double bill with Fast Times at Ridgemont High at the local $1 theater.

 Karen “K.C.” Castle (real life tennis pro Bassett) lives in Las Vegas with her showgirl mother Stevie (Anton). She makes pocket money hustling unsuspecting victims at the public tennis courts. How are they supposed to know that she’s a ranked player about to compete in a tournament in Florida?

 Unfortunately, K.C. and her mother find themselves the target of snobbery amongst the spoiled brats in the competition and their stuck-up parents. This is especially true of Celia Berryman (Walter, Arrested Development) whose champion daughter Missy (Foltz) is favored to win the tournament. She sees K.C. and her mother as her inferiors and wants them gone. The only one who really shows them any kindness is Andy (Shellen, Casual Sex?), a tennis pro who agrees to help K.C. train for her upcoming matches.

 The other parents feel that Stevie is a bad influence on their daughters with her free-wheeling ways and good-time attitude. Stevie hooks up with a journalist (Converse, Solarbabies) who writes a negative article about Missy. This just makes Celia more determined to have K.C. disqualified from the tournament. Meanwhile, K.C. and Missy strike up a friendship and agree to do a TV interview together. The girls go out on the town afterwards which leads to a situation that involves a false accusation and K.C.’s possible disqualification from the tournament.

 As you can see, Spring Fever is NOT the T&A comedy that the poster art indicates. It’s pretty much as low budget as a movie can get and still manage to get a distribution deal. It was released by an outfit called Comworld Pictures. The name didn’t ring a bell, so I looked it up on IMDb and saw that this studio also released Night Warning, One Dark Night, Ator, The Final Terror and Getting It On before folding in ’86. I can’t find any more information on Comworld, but it’s interesting to learn of yet another low budget studio whose pictures helped define my teen years.

 Spring Fever is hardly what I’d call a great movie; in fact, it’s not even that well made. Most of the acting is pretty bad and there’s an inconsistency in tone that’s kind of strange. For example, just moments after the “frozen balls” gag, a father suffers a heart attack during his daughter’s match. There’s also a shocking scene of child abuse about midway through that clearly belongs in a more serious-minded movie. It doesn’t really belong in a light comedy aimed at teens looking for a good time at the movies.

 In addition, some of the music is just awful! In the sequence where K.C. and Missy spend the day together goofing around, a song entitled “Just One Chance to Be Free” (by somebody named Taffy McElroy) plays over the soundtrack. Talk about cheesy AND sappy! At least the producers had the good sense to throw in a couple of hit songs by Pat Benatar (“Hit Me with Your Best Shot”) and Loverboy (“Turn Me Loose”).

 Then there’s the acting. HOO BOY! Here’s the deal, Anton is HOT! She’s less impressive as an actress. Bassett, on the other hand, cannot act at all. She makes a strong effort, but it’s clear that she shouldn’t even consider quitting her day job. She’s a bit annoying at times, but she sure knows how to hit that ball.

 All of this aside, I kind of like Spring Fever. It’s entertaining enough if you keep your expectations low. It has a few funny moments. There’s a nice little throwaway gag at the expense of John McEnroe (that temperamental of all tennis players!). I just can’t bring myself to criticize Spring Fever too harshly. I have to give the producers credit for trying to pull a fast one on unsuspecting teens looking for a little T&A action. It’s a shrewd albeit unfair trick that didn’t translate into big bucks at the box office. Oh well, it was just a harmless stunt for a harmless movie. See it if you want a nice shot of 80s nostalgia Canadian style. That’s Canuxploitation to all the movie geeks out there.