Pieces (1983) Film Ventures International/ Horror RT: 86 minutes No MPAA rating (graphic bloody violence and gore, full frontal nudity, sexual content, language, drug references) Director: Juan Piquer Simon (as “J. Piquer Simon”) Screenplay: Dick Randall and Roberto Loyola (as “John Shadow”) Music: Cam Cinematography: Juan Marine (as “John Marine”) Release date: November 4, 1983 (Philadelphia, PA) Cast: Christopher George, Lynda Day George, Edmund Purdom, Paul L. Smith, Frank Brana, Ian Sera, Jack Taylor, Isabel Luque, May Heatherly, Hilda Fuchs, Roxana Nieto, Cristina Cottrel, Leticia Marfil, Silvia Gambino, Carmen Aguado, Francisco Alvez, Alejandro Hernandez, Bruce Le (uncredited). Box Office: $2 million (US) Body Count: 7
Rating: ****
I freely admit to being a gorehound. I LOVE bloody, gory movies! The bloodier, the better. Maybe it’s my fondness for bloody mayhem or perhaps my appreciation of cool makeup effects. It’s hard to say. I just want the makers to bring on the splatter.
I’ve seen my fair share of such films in my long moviegoing career, but the Spanish-made horror flick Pieces holds a special place in my heart. It’s the first movie I ever saw that didn’t have an MPAA rating. Instead, it bore the following policy: “Absolutely No One Under 17 Admitted to This Performance”. I was 15 at the time and couldn’t be more thrilled that the box office lady sold me a ticket without a hassle. And why not, I spent a lot of money at that theater (the Barclay Square). My anticipation grew as the house lights went down. My heart raced as I thought to myself, “Let the bloodbath begin.” And did it ever!
Pieces, which deals with a crazed chainsaw killer cutting up coeds on a Boston college campus, wastes no time getting the party started. Within minutes, we’re treated to the sight of a young boy chopping up his mother with an axe after she punishes him for playing with a jigsaw puzzle of a naked lady. He gets away with it too.
Forty years later, a maniac sets about cutting up female students and keeping certain body parts. The investigating cops, Lt. Bracken (George, Enter the Ninja) and Sgt. Holden (Brana, Slugs), are stumped as to the identity of the killer. It could be anybody- burly groundskeeper Willard (Smith, Popeye), oddball professor Brown (Taylor, Conan the Barbarian), the befuddled dean (Purdom, Ator) or any of the male students. In a move that defies logic, Bracken recruits campus playboy Kendall (Sera, Mystery on Monster Island) to aid in the investigation. He also places an undercover cop, tennis pro Mary Riggs (Day, Day of the Animals), to pose as the new coach. They certainly have their work cut out for them. Yes, joke intended.
I suppose it isn’t too revealing to explain that the killer is using the purloined parts to create a human jigsaw puzzle. What else would he use them for, meat pies? To 15YO Movie Guy 24/7, this was freaking AWESOME! I knew Pieces would be cool just by the poster’s tagline: “You don’t have to go to Texas for a chainsaw massacre!” It’s a promise more than fulfilled by director J. Piquer Simon (Slugs). The kills are extremely bloody. There’s a lot of spurt and splatter as the killer cuts off arms, legs and a head. There’s also the gruesome stabbing of a nosy reporter (Luque, Gay Club) on a waterbed. This one is waist deep in the red sticky stuff.
Based on the above description, you might get the idea that Pieces is just another entry in the crowded slasher genre of the early 80s, indistinguishable from Friday the 13th, Prom Night or Night School. ABSOLUTELY NOT TRUE! It has a bizarre identity all its own while still retaining the usual genre conventions- e.g. idiotic characters, gratuitous nudity and an easily identifiable killer. It simultaneously transcends and subverts the genre with moments of such total absurdity, you wonder if it was made by otherworldly beings. One of my favorite moments is the late night, out-of-nowhere kung fu fight when Mary encounters the campus karate instructor (Le, The Clones of Bruce Lee). Talk about Asian stereotypes, here’s his only line of dialogue (besides “HA!”): “Ohhh, I am out jogging and next thing I know I am on ground! Something I eat, bad chop suey. So long!” Only in the pre-PC 80s could a movie get away with something like this.
Other loopy scenes include the one of a girl on a skateboard crashing through a big mirror on the sidewalk. Who is she? Does she live or die? What does it have to do with the plot? Actually, I can make an educated guess on that last one. It has something to do with the killer killing his mother as a boy. It triggers something that causes him to go on a killing spree. But then I have to ask if the killer witnessed the skateboard incident? And what’s the deal with Kendall hitting on Mary? She’s old enough to be his mother. PLUS, the final shock scene defies any and all explanation, logical or illogical. You just have to see it for yourself.
There’s a plethora of atrocious dialogue in Pieces. Here are a few examples:
Random female student: “The most beautiful thing in the world is smoking pot and f—ing on a waterbed.” (Spoken like a true 80s teen in a slasher flick.)
Holden: “Right now we’re just buying clothes without labels and trying them on for size.” (WTF does that even mean?!)
Bracken: “The killer is someone that is either on or near the campus.” (Astute observation, Sherlock!)
Prof. Brown: “I guess I’m so used to bodies, dead ones, that I’m callous.” (You’re weird, dude.)
Inarguably, the best non-kill scene in Pieces is Lynda Day’s character’s reaction to yet another killing. Angry and distraught, she screams “BASTARD! BAAAAASTAAAARAD! BASTARD!” at the top of her lungs. It’s a prime example of the bad overacting contained herein. Smith appears to still be in Bluto mode with his exaggerated mean faces and intimidating demeanor. He’s the obvious suspect which, of course, means he didn’t do it. Real-life couple Christopher George and Lynda Day, the king and queen of cheap exploitation movies, do what they do best. He acts the smug hero without the foggiest idea of what’s going on; she shows that acting isn’t her strong suit. Purdom’s dean is an uptight sort who doesn’t want news of the murders leaking to the press. Bad publicity for the college, you know. He’s as stiff as a corpse in the role. Sera, in full eager boy detective mode, is just laughable. Give it up, Kendall; you’re not a Hardy Boy.
The original Spanish title of Pieces is Mil Grito Tiene La Noche which translates to The Night Has 1000 Screams. Like most horror imports of the time, it’s badly made from the sloppy way it’s put together to the poor English dubbing. The makers don’t even spare the English-speaking actors from this indignity. You’ll die laughing when you hear Holden say “Don’t move or I’ll blow your brains out.” to a suspect. Listen to the way he says it. It goes all the way past conviction to insanity… I mean, inanity. Although it takes place in Boston, it was mostly shot in Madrid. You can tell.
At times, Pieces is a riotously funny unintentional comedy. I doubt that was the director’s intention but here we are. In its defense, it’s a proper bloodbath. Also, it makes no apologies for being what it is. On the contrary, it embraces its gory identity. Look at the other tagline on the poster: “It’s exactly what you think it is”. That’s what I call truth in packaging. For once, it’s not a tease. Thank you, Senor Simon.
