Speed Zone (1989) Orion Pictures/Action-Comedy RT: 94 minutes Rated PG (language, mild violence) Director: Jim Drake Screenplay: Michael Short Music: David Wheatley Cinematography: Francois Protat and Robert Saad Release date: April 21, 1989 (US) Cast: John Candy, Eugene Levy, Joe Flaherty, Donna Dixon, Matt Frewer, Tim Matheson, Mimi Kuzyk, Melody Anderson, Shari Belafonte, Brian George, Art Hindle, The Smothers Brothers (Dick and Tommy), Peter Boyle, Don Lake, John Schneider, Lee Van Cleef, Harvey Atkin, Michael Spinks, Brooke Shields, Alyssa Milano, Louis Del Grande, Richard Petty, Carl Lewis, Jamie Farr. Box Office: $3M (US)
Rating: *
Yes, Speed Zone is the third (and final) installment in the Cannonball Run series. Why they didn’t just call it Cannonball Run III? I’ll never know. It probably would have made more than $3 million under that title despite the fact it’s a lousy picture.
Perhaps the producers dropped the Cannonball label after learning director Hal Needham and star Burt Reynolds would not be returning for this outing. The only returning cast member from the previous two escapades is Jamie Farr (as the obscenely wealthy Sheik) who looks like he’d rather be back filming episodes of AfterMASH. In all fairness, the others are no-brainers as well, but at least they’re entertaining. This lemon of a comedy can’t even manage that.
Speed Zone drops the ball in another crucial area which ultimately proves to be the three-quel’s entire undoing. Both Cannonball Run movies feature all-star casts that include cool celebrities like Jimmy “The Greek” Snyder, Bert Convy, Peter Fonda, Charles Nelson Reilly and three members of the Rat Pack (Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr. and Frank Sinatra). Speed Zone has Matt Frewer, Mimi Kuzyk, Brooke Shields, John Schneider and three SCTV cast members (John Candy, Eugene Levy and Joe Flaherty). Aside from Lee Van Cleef (in his final film role) and the Smothers Brothers, the cast roster is most unimpressive. The producers couldn’t even get athletes like NFL players Terry Bradshaw, Joe Theismann or Joe Klecko to appear. They had to settle for boxer Michael Spinks, runner Carl Lewis and racing star Richard Petty.
It’s time for the infamous Cannonball Run, the illegal cross-country race that seems to attract crazies from all walks of life with its $1 million prize. This time, they’re racing from Washington D.C. to Santa Monica. Unfortunately, there’s a bit of a complication this time around. The overzealous Police Chief Spiro T. Edsel (Boyle, Young Frankenstein) arrests all the drivers the night before the big race. Now, the sponsors are desperately scrambling to find replacement drivers for their cars. Given that time is a major factor, they have to settle for whoever they can get.
Needless to say, they find some real yo-yos to fill the driver’s seats. Wannabe big shot Gus Gold (Levy, the American Pie movies) bullies parking lot attendant Charlie (Candy, Who’s Harry Crumb?) into driving his BMW and taking along his ditzy girlfriend Tiffany (Dixon, Bosom Buddies). Compulsive gambler Alec (Frewer, Max Headroom) talks hit man Vic (Flaherty, Freaks and Geeks) into taking part in the race and splitting the prize money as a way of paying off his debt to the hired killer’s boss. MIT graduates Lee (Anderson, Flash Gordon) and Margaret (Belafonte, If You Could See What I Hear) take charge of a Ferrari Daytona Spyder after the driver (Atkin, Meatballs) gets arrested in the raid. A cop named Flash (Hindle, Porky’s) forces Italian car owner Valentino (George, The Big Bang Theory) to drive his Lamborghini. Millionaires Nelson and Randolph Van Sloan (Dick and Tom Smothers) plan to cheat their way to victory by secretly catching a plane to Las Vegas. A couple of TV news reporters, Jack (Matheson, Animal House) and Heather (Kuzyk, Hill Street Blues) start out following the race in their news van and end up as active participants. Chief Edsel, along with sidekick Whitman (Lake, Police Academy), continues his aggressive pursuit of the drivers.
I made the wise choice of waiting to see Speed Zone until it came out on video. In a perfect world, it would NOT have received a theatrical release. It’s a terrible picture. It’s a low octane comedy that runs out of gas before it reaches the finish line. It barely makes it past the starting gate. It sorely lacks the presence of Hal Needham and company. The stunts fall as flat as the gags. Jim Drake (Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol) is clearly the wrong choice of director. It’s especially disappointing for me because I really like the fourth Police Academy movie.
As for the cast, John Candy is NO substitute for Burt Reynolds. Dom DeLuise maybe, but definitely not Reynolds. The cast list illustrates what I call “The Atkin-Chaykin Principle” which states that if either Harvey Atkin or Maury Chaykin appears in a movie, then it’s a Canadian production. This movie was mostly filmed in Montreal (with the exception of a few scenes in Washington D.C. and Tucson) and features many Canadian-born celebrities- Candy, Levy, Flaherty, Lake, Anderson, Kuzyk and Hindle, to name but a few.
Consequently, Speed Zone doesn’t play like a Cannonball Run movie because it lacks the Southern flavor of its predecessors. Without Reynolds and company, it also lacks the good-natured playfulness of the first two movies. I didn’t feel the same chemistry between the actors here that I did with the gang in the originals. It felt more like they were simply tolerating one another. There aren’t even any outtakes in the closing credits this time around. There’s none of the zany humor that made Needham’s movies so memorable. For me, it’s just not a Cannonball Run movie without Captain Chaos.
Speed Zone doesn’t even deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as its two predecessors. It DOES deserve to be abandoned to rust in the proverbial movie junkyard. It’s a real clunker.
