The Devil’s Rain (1975)    Bryanston Distribution/Horror    RT: 86 minutes    Rated PG (language, violence, scary scenes, thematic material)    Director: Robert Fuest    Screenplay: Gabe Essoe, James Ashton and Gerald Hopman    Music: Al De Lory    Cinematography: Alex Phillips Jr.    Release date: August 12, 1975 (US)    Cast: Ernest Borgnine, Eddie Albert, William Shatner, Ida Lupino, Tom Skerritt, Joan Prather, Keenan Wynn, John Travolta.    Box Office: N/A

Rating: *

 The opening titles of The Devil’s Rain reveal two unique aspects of an otherwise lame horror story about Satan worshippers in the California desert. First, its technical advisor is Anton Szandor Lavey, the High Priest of the Church of Satan (he even has a bit part). Second, the title backgrounds are paintings by Hieronymus Bosch, the Dutch Renaissance-era artist known for his use of fantastic imagery to illustrate religious concepts. Those are some wild paintings! They may just be the scariest thing in The Devil’s Rain. Everything that follows is an anticlimax.

 All that aside, one of the main reasons people still remember this picture is because it features future star John Travolta in his film debut. Don’t get too excited, it’s only a very minor role (he plays a cult member) and you won’t even recognize him under all the waxy makeup. He has a single line of dialogue (“Blasphemer, blasphemer!”). Is a star born? Hardly. Despite the involvement of an actual Satanist, The Devil’s Rain isn’t the least bit scary. It might be if you could understand it. What exactly is going on? I can’t say for sure.

 So exactly what is the “devil’s rain” referred to in the title? It’s difficult to explain without first describing the messy plot. It all starts with the mysterious death of the patriarch of the Preston clan during a storm. He’s gone missing and when he reappears, he melts into a puddle of green goo. It seems that Satanic cult leader Corbis (Borgnine, The Poseidon Adventure) wants a book the Preston family has been concealing for over 300 years. It’s his source of power. Without it, he has no control over the souls trapped inside a glass container called “The Devil’s Rain”. Inside, you see a bunch of tormented souls begging to be let out. It always rains inside too. And there it is! But I’m getting ahead of myself here.

 After his mother (Lupino, High Sierra) is abducted by the cult, younger son Mark (Shatner, Star Trek) heads to a ghost town in the desert with the book. He also has an amulet that will hopefully help him defeat the evil Corbis. It’s no match, the cult leader and his followers overtake him easily. Mark’s older brother Tom (Skerritt, Alien) learns of his disappearance and goes in search of him with his wife Julie (Prather, Eight is Enough) and Dr. Sam Richards (Albert, Green Acres), an expert on the paranormal AND demonology (how very convenient!). It bears mentioning that the two men are at work on an experiment that will hopefully allow them to isolate the brain pattern that controls ESP. Julie is their test subject. Why is this included in the story? Who knows?

 I haven’t told you the coolest thing (the only cool thing) about The Devil’s Rain. All of the cult members have black eye sockets and waxy skin making them look like creepy department store mannequins. When they die, they don’t simply fall down. They melt into a puddle of green goo. It kind of looks like lime Jell-O left out in the sun too long. PLOT SPOILER ALERT!!! At the end, the Satanists all melt in a rainstorm. This might have been cool if director Robert Fuest (The Abominable Dr. Phibes) didn’t drag it out for five minutes. One minute would have sufficed.

 It’s indicative of what’s wrong with the whole of The Devil’s Rain. There wasn’t enough material for a feature-length film, so Fuest stretches out what little he has to work with to incredulous lengths. It results in a boring horror movie, something as equally unbearable as an unfunny comedy. Movies like these seem to go on forever with no end in sight, know what I mean?

 The acting is all over the map. Albert looks befuddled like he’s not quite sure how he got involved in this idiocy in the first place. Borgnine hams it up to the level of high camp even turning into Satan a couple of times. Shatner does what Shatner always does, so I can’t really criticize him too much. Prather is simply terrible; she barely registers on the personality scale. The real mystery in The Devil’s Rain is how the producers managed to convince such talented actors to appear in it. I can only conclude that they all needed the paychecks. Skerritt once described it as “A Picture to Throw Up By”. I wonder if he was on the publicity tour when he dropped this bon mot.

 It’s not a total loss as the special effects are slightly better than one would expect from a low budget picture like this. And it is low budget. It was shot in Mexico, that’s the real tip-off. The Devil’s Rain is pretty bad alright, but I’ll take it over 95% of today’s tepid PG-13 horrors any day. At least it has the courage of its convictions as dull and incoherent as it is.