Matilda (1978) American International/Comedy RT: 91 minutes Rated G (comic violence) Director: Daniel Mann Screenplay: Timothy Galfas Music: Jerrold Immel Cinematography: Jack Woolf Release date: June 22, 1978 (US) Cast: Elliott Gould, Clive Revill, Harry Guardino, Roy Clark, Karen Carlson, Art Metrano, Lionel Stander, Roberta Collins, Larry Pennell, Gary Morgan, Robert Mitchum, Lenny Montana, Frank Avianca. Box Office: N/A
Rating: ***
NOTE TO READERS: The following is NOT a review of the 1996 comedy about the little girl with psychokinetic abilities. I’ll cover that one another time. Meanwhile, let’s take a look at one of the nuttiest movies of the 70s.
If nothing else, the 1978 comedy Matilda proves irrefutably that everybody in Hollywood was on drugs in the hedonistic 70s. It’s the only logical explanation as to how it got made. Get this. It’s about a boxing kangaroo. Yep, you read that right, a boxing kangaroo. No surprise, it’s as silly as it sounds. And it’s stupider than you can imagine.
Directed by Daniel Mann (Come Back, Little Sheba), Matilda is based on a novel by sports writer Paul Gallico. Believe it or not, he also wrote the books that would be adapted into The Pride of the Yankees and The Poseidon Adventure. I can’t say whose brainchild it was to turn his 1970 book into a major motion picture, but stranger things have happened in Tinsel Town. Five words, John Wayne as Genghis Khan.
Matilda was supposed to be a hit. Producer Albert S. Ruddy (The Godfather) had high hopes for it. His plan to make it the box office smash of summer ’78 included an unprecedented number of product tie-ins including a certain fast food joint easily identified by the pair of golden arches in its logo. He also made clear that it wasn’t just a kid’s movie even though it was suitable for all ages. In his words, it was “possibly the most sophisticated film to ever get a G rating”. The proper response to his claim consists of two letters that don’t stand for bird seed.
In any event, everything changed when Matilda failed to win the hearts of test audiences. To say the brief trial runs went poorly is a vast understatement. One San Francisco theater reported zero attendance on opening night. No lie, literally NOBODY showed up to see it. They ended up having to run it for the staff on duty that night. Upon realizing they had a potential bomb on their hands, American International cancelled its wide release and all promotions. It quickly and quietly sank into obscurity. Come fall, nobody was talking about the pugilistic marsupial.
I first saw Matilda on video in early ’99. Found it while scanning the shelves at a West Coast Video frequented by my then-girlfriend. Naturally, I snatched it right up. I’d wanted to see it since I read about it in The Golden Turkey Awards, my go-to reference book for bad movies written by Harry and Michael Medved. It was nominated in “The Worst Film You Never Saw” category, but lost to Billy Jack Goes to Washington which I’ve still never seen. It was bad alright, but that’s what made it so much fun to watch. I just watched it for the second time (on Tubi) and my feelings remain exactly the same. It’s funny for all the wrong reasons.
The makers found the perfect way to let audiences know what they were in for with Matilda. Actually, it’s more of a warning. It opens with a song by that most wholesome of father-daughter duos, Pat and Debby Boone. They’re accompanied by a children’s chorus, of course. It’s called “When I’m With You, I’m Feelin’ Good”. Two words, sap and treacle! Diabetics, consider yourselves duly warned.
Next, we’re greeted by a little English guy who owns a pub in New York. His name is Billy Baker (Revill, Avanti!) and he has quite a tale to tell. He was a boxing champ in his youth, but his true happiness came from his association with Matilda, a 6’ 11” kangaroo with a talent for boxing.
Let’s hit pause for a moment to talk about Matilda. First, he’s a he despite having a girl’s name. Second, it’s NOT a real kangaroo. It’s an actor (Gary Morgan of Pete’s Dragon) in a kangaroo costume that won’t fool anybody over the age of three. I guess there aren’t too many real roos registered with SAG.
Getting back to Matilda, Billy and his pouched pal run into trouble almost immediately after arriving in the US. The sight of a kangaroo hopping down the streets of New York creates bedlam and causes the cops to take the sweet-natured animal into custody. In need of quick cash, Billy goes to see small-time talent agent Bernie Bonnelli (Gould, The Long Goodbye) who sees big money in a boxing kangaroo act. He springs Matilda from pet prison and sets his new clients up as a carnival act. That’s where the fighting roo KOs heavyweight champ Lee Dockerty (Pennell of TV’s Ripcord) with a single punch. It makes him a star, but brings all sorts of problems raining down on Bernie’s thick head.
Not everybody is cheering for Matilda. ASPCA official Kathleen Smith (Carlson, The Octagon) wants to pull the plug on their act on the grounds that it’s cruelty to animals. Would you be shocked if I told you she and Bernie end up falling for each other? I didn’t think so. Crime boss Uncle Nono (Guardino, Dirty Harry) has it out for them too. It was his fighter that got knocked out. He keeps sending his guys to take care of things and they fail each time. What do you expect from a bunch of stereotypical dumb Italian hoods? A subplot has Bernie working with washed-up sports writer Duke Parkhurst to take down Uncle Nono. Duke is played by Robert Mitchum (Out of the Past) in the biggest “what the hell is he doing in this?” role of his career. Was he that hard up for a paycheck?
The cast also includes country singer Roy Clark as the NYC boxing commissioner (uh, okay), Art Metrano (Police Academy 2 & 3) as a cabbie who joins Team Matilda as a publicist, Lionel Stander (Hart to Hart) as Bernie’s sleazy boss and brother-in-law Pinky and Roberta Collins (Death Race 2000) as Dockerty’s girlfriend Tanya Six, a blonde bimbo nightclub singer with dreams of making it big in Vegas.
Matilda is too ridiculous to hate. It’s legitimately bad, a dyed-in-the-wool stink bomb, a true cinematic gobbler. It damn near ended Gould’s career. At one time, he was one of the hottest stars in Hollywood. His pre-kangaroo resume includes Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice, MASH, The Long Goodbye, California Split, A Bridge Too Far and The Silent Partner. His box office clout went way down after Matilda as did his credibility as a serious actor. Gould appears to realize it’s all slipping away judging by the look of embarrassment he wears in every scene. For what it’s worth, he manages to go the distance with his (fake) kangaroo co-star.
It seems unnecessarily harsh to criticize the acting in Matilda. Why should I? Nobody involved in this idiotic venture thinks they’re doing Shakespeare. Surely the Bard could write a better screenplay than this. In his only solo outing as a writer, cinematographer Timothy Galfas (Rhinestone) ignores trivialities like plot, character development and logic. Who needs any of that when you have a boxing kangaroo? That’s what audiences really want to see, right? WRONG-O! Add in some particularly sloppy direction by Mann and you have a movie nobody will line up to see.
ANYWAY, I can’t make myself come down too hard on Matilda. It’s completely sincere in its efforts to tell a heartfelt story with characters who all change for the better by the time its impossibly happy ending rolls around. Oops, I just spoiled the surprise ending! But yes, everybody gets a happily ever after here, even the bad guys. The worst that happens to them is being felled by a conk to the head or a swipe of the punchy protagonist’s tail. What did you expect? There’s not too much leeway where a G rating is concerned.
As one who appreciates bad movies, Matilda is a great deal of fun. Don’t misunderstand, it’s a terrible movie on every level. We’re talking artistic, technical and everything in between. It is completely incompetent. It’s also an insult to the intelligence of everybody that lays eyes on it. That’s why I like it! It takes a special kind of talent to get it this wrong. You just don’t see this level of dedication anymore. In closing, I’d like to say I’ll take a guy in a kangaroo costume over CGI any day.
